You Are My Refuge
by Chris Grace
Summary: Continuation of 'Safe House'. Cameron and Nikki continue to deal with Kyle Bale's addiction, meanwhile growing closer because of it. CHAPTER 13 NOW POSTED!
1. Chapter 1

** Disclaimer:**

** I didn't create Summerland, sadly. And these wonderful characters aren't mine.  
**

**This story starts during the episode "Safe House," when Nikki reveals to Ava that Cam's dad is an alcoholic after he is arrested for a DUI. This occurs the night Cameron shows up at Nikki's house in the middle of the night, upset that she told Ava.  
**

**Please R/R! My first Fan Fic I've ever published!  
**

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**You Are My Refuge: Chapter One**

Nikki once again shifted in her aunt's bed, finding it difficult to settle down enough in order to fall asleep. A million questions ran through her mind. Was Cameron mad at her for telling Ava? Should she have kept quiet? What was his dad going to do when he realized Cameron was gone? She could hear Ava and Johnny's voices on the patio but couldn't make out what they were saying. They spoke in grave tones, that much she could tell. It was safe to say that they'd be talking for awhile. She climbed out of bed slowly, tiptoed out of her Aunt's room, and made her way upstairs to her own attic room slowly. She took a long look at her closed white door, looming ominously in front of her. She finally took a deep breath and knocked on the door quietly.

"Cam, it's me."

Silence. She waited a moment before easing the door open slowly. She stood in the doorway to access the situation. The lamp was on. Cameron was lying on top of the covers, still awake, staring out the window. He didn't even so much as glance at her. She went up the final two steps and was finally only a few feet from her bed.

"Hey." She said softly. He didn't reply, his eyes glued to the window.

Nikki timidly went forward perched on the edge of the bed. He continued to stay silent, refusing to look at her. They sat there in a tense silence. Nikki's eyes searching his expression, and Cameron's eyes unfocused on something out the window. Nikki finally gathered up enough courage to reach out and take his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly. She traced circles on the smooth skin covering the back of his hand with her index finger as the silence continued, silently begging him to speak.

Finally he did.

"I-" Cam started, he paused then at last looked at Nikki in the eyes. "I just wish none of this had happened."

His usually bright blue orbs were cloudy with emotion, bloodshot. His voice was raspy from crying--something he had not done until that night, when he finally let it all out. Everything he'd kept hidden for so long.

"Everything has happened this year--the divorce, the drinking. Him--." he looked away, they both knew what he was about to say. "All of it."

"I know, Cam." She didn't know what else to say to him. "I know."

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this, you know?" Cameron said in a desperate voice. "It wasn't supposed to get so messed up."

She dropped his hand and wrapped her arms around her knees.

"I know how that is, Cam. I've felt like that every day." Nikki said in a faraway voice. She rested her head on her knees. "Since they died."

Another silence ensued. There was nothing more for her to say. There was nothing she could do for him. She didn't know how to handle this, she _couldn't _handle this. Nikki made a move to get up from the bed and leave. What else was there to do for him?

As she started to leave, Cameron suddenly grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him. She gave in and let him pull her into a hug. He hugged her tightly, his arms securely around her waist. Her head resting on his neck and her arms winding around his back. She _could_ do this part. She was secure in her knowledge, now, even though she had only just realized it herself--that she loved him. She loved him, and was_ in_ love with him. And she was willing to be his stronghold. She tightened her grip on his shoulder. He flinched, and she pulled away from him. His face was contorted into a grimace. Then it dawned on her.

Tenderly, she rolled up his left sleeve. Revealing the bruise he had showed her the week before. He shifted uncomfortably.

"It's okay." she whispered, staring at it intently before looking up and searching his face. His expression unfathomable. She brushed her fingers along the dark bruise gently.

He stared down at her with uncertainty etched onto his face. She was uncertain about a lot of things, too, but she was certain about her feelings for him. Maybe a year ago, something like this would've scared her away from a relationship. But not now.

"I hate it, too." She told him. He looked down. She kissed his bruised shoulder softly. A tear rolled down her cheek that she quickly swatted away, determined not to cry.

When she looked back up, though, he had tears in his eyes too. Suddenly, Nikki was overcome with the powerful urge to either hug and kiss him and never stop, or to hurt his father in the same way he had hurt his son. There was no excuse for the bruise on his shoulder or the tears in his eyes or the fact that he was sleeping in her bed and was afraid of his own home. She wanted to wrap her arms around him forever and never let Kyle near him ever again.

She wrapped her arms around him again. The night had been a roller coaster, but both teenagers were calming down, tears no longer falling, only taking refuge in the feel of one another's firm grasp. Maybe she _could_ do this. There was no backing out now, she was in too deep and had too much at stake.

Reluctantly, Nikki pulled away.

"I better go. Before Aunt Ava sees that I'm gone." She said quietly.

He nodded. "Okay." he tenderly brushed a lock of hair of her face.

She blushed before smiling shyly at him and raising off the bed.

"Night, Cam."

"You too, Nik."

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**Authors Note:**

**Hey guys. I'm honored that you have decided to read my story!  
**

**I hope you liked it! I know it was kind of short. It just felt right to end it right there. I really love Nikki and Cam as a couple and I will update as much as possible, even if school is starting soon. Please review! It will only take a few seconds. **

**Love,**

**Chris Grace**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: Hey everyone! This is the morning after Cam showed up at Aunt Ava's. Enjoy.**

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**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Two **

Bradin came down the stairs, half awake. He entered the kitchen and was puzzled to find Cameron sitting at the breakfast table with Nikki, Derrick and Ava, eating cheerios. He _really_ hadn't been hanging out at home much, Aunt Ava looked up from her coffee and newspaper.

She gave him a pointed look. "Oh, Good morning Bradin." she said with a smile. A peculiar smile, for her, one that seemed very, very forced.

"'Morning." he muttered, yawning. he pointed his head in Cameron's direction and gave his Aunt a questioning look.

She again gave him a look that said 'Don't Ask Questions' and said cheerfully, "Cam is going to be staying with us for a little while."

Bradin raised his eyebrows. What was _that_ about?

"Here, have some cereal." She pushed a bowl and a box his way. He glanced over at Cameron, who was looking down and looked embarrassed.

"Oh, well, that's cool." Bradin said easily, taking a seat next to Derrick. Everyone was silent, looking focused on their cereal bowls.

"So, Bradin, what are your plans for today?" Ava asked him, closing the paper and sipping a cup of coffee.

Bradin shrugged, pouring milk over his dry cereal. "I'll probably hang with the boys."

Ava's smile faded. It wasn't an unknown fact that she disapproved of Bradin's new surfing friends. She bit back what she was intending to say and gave him a stern look. "Try to be home for dinner tonight."

Bradin nodded and said with his mouth full, "Sure thing."

Ava's stern look was still present. She gathered her dirty breakfast dishes and got up to put them in the sink.

"I'll be in my workroom if anyone needs me." Their aunt said, exiting the kitchen.

Derrick and Bradin finished their cereal and left the kitchen, leaving Nikki and Cameron alone. Neither of them mentioned the night before, exchanging only polite "Good Mornings" and "Did you sleep alright"s.

"Wanna go to the beach after we're done eating?" Nikki asked him, trying to stay upbeat. The beach was distracting. Exactly what they both needed after the night before.

"Sure. But--" Cameron pointed to his clothes. "This is all I have with me.."

"Oh, don't worry." Nikki said with a wave of her hand. "Bradin has extras."

She got up from the table and began clearing her breakfast dishes and headed to the kitchen, Cam following her lead.

"Oh, so you're is domestic too," she joked as they placed their empty bowls in the sink and she turned to face him. They were both smiling at each other, a mutual affection apparent on both their faces. He pushed her lightly against the counter.

"You know it." he said , placing his hands on her wrists with a twinkle in his eye and giving her a crooked grin.

"Not here." Nikki breathed, glancing around the empty downstairs, they were alone, but she was terrified anyone could walk in. The last thing she wanted was for Bradin or Ava to flip out over an innocent kiss.

Cameron backed off, looking slightly disappointed.

"Later?" he asked playfully.

She winked. "Never." she said with a laugh, beginning to load the dishwasher.

* * *

After some rummaging in an old box tucked away in the garage, Nikki had found a pair of swim trunks and a t-shirt for Cam.

They changed into their beach gear upstairs and started heading down to the beach.

"One sec." Nikki told him, stopping by the closet underneath the stairs. She grabbed her beach bag, stuffing two beach towels in it along with some sunblock and her sunglasses. She disappeared into the garage and came out with a few sand castle molds.

"How old school." Cam commented, nodding toward the colorful molds. "I don't think I've played with those since I was a toddler."

Nikki giggled, "Lay off and hold these." she said, holding them out to him. "Maybe I feel like being a little touristy today."

"Whatever, Nik." he said with a shake of his head, taking them from her.

After informing Ava of where they were going, they set off to the beach. It was a perfectly clear, bright and extremely hot day. Perfect for the being near the water. They found an empty spot and laid down their towels. Nikki plopped down and rummaged through her bag and pulled out a tube of Coppertone SPF 45.

"I don't even use that stuff anymore." Cam told her with a grin.

"Ah, and that's why _you_ are going to get skin cancer someday. Or that's what my mom always said, anyway." Nikki chided lightheartedly .

"Nah. I'm pretty much immune to sunburn." He made his voice a high falsetto. "How else would I keep my summer glow?" He gave a girly flick of the wrist.

"You better be careful. That whole voice thing is really seductive."

"Oh really? I'll keep that in mind." He laid back on his towel, not removing his shirt.

Nikki began applying sunblock to her face and arms and legs. She began trying to put it on her shoulders, but Cameron sat up and took it from her.

"Here. Let me." he squirted some onto his hand. "Lift up your hair."

Nikki moved her hair. They were so close. He sat right behind her, and was rubbing it in gently. He moved her bathing suit straps and kept applying it.

It was moments like this that she loved. It was just her and Cam. No one else mattered.

"Finished." he said softly. She turned so that she was facing him.

Neither broke the gaze for a moment. His eyes were so intense. She never knew what he was thinking. Of course, that vulnerability also made her uncomfortable.

"Race you to the water." She said suddenly, jumping up and racing toward the surf.

"Hey!" he jumped up and ran after her, but she had already made it to the waves. He ran to her, she was laughing in the tide. He reached her and grabbed her arm, dragging her down into the shallow wave with him.

They laughed and splashed each other as the waves beat them mercilessly. One wave in particular sent them both flying forward. They landed, their arms and legs tangled in a strange heap.

They tried to separate, but the waves hitting them over and over only resulted in more confusion. Nikki was struggling to get a grip on the sand with her feet, but she was laughing too hard to function properly. Finally, another wave hit them and set them right. Cameron pulled her up onto her feet, keeping hold of her hand, and they waded deeper into the water.

They swam out farther into the water. About thirty or so feet out, Cameron turned to face her. They were treading water, staring at each other.

"I needed it." Cameron said, intently. His blue eyes were serious. "Last night."

"I know, Cam."she said softly, reaching out for his hand underwater. He floated closer to her, grasping her hand.

"Thank you, though. For everything." His voice was sincere. Her previous worry that he was angry melted away. She was thankful and relieved that she had done the right thing for him. She moved closer to him in the water, laying her hand on his shoulder before kissing him softly.

They heard loud voices from the shore, and drifted apart.

There were a few people walking on the beach, paying no attention to the pair, but the moment was lost.

They swam and floated in the water for a little while longer. Nikki was enjoying herself more now that she knew he understood why she broke his confidence. That was the first hurdle.

"Let's head back." Cameron suggested after a couple of minutes. Nikki agreed and followed him back to shore.

Once on the beach, Nikki collapsed onto her towel. Cameron sat down beside her. His t-shirt was soaked and clinging to him. He quickly took it off and wrapped himself in a towel. Nikki glimpsed the bruises on his back before he covered himself up, but she didn't say anything. Funny how even though she was trying to distract him from what was really going on, there was no escaping it. They could kiss and laugh all they wanted, but it was still lurking in the corner--it could be ignored, but not erased. She felt overwhelming sadness for him, but tried to push it away. She wanted to distract him, of course, but she wanted a distraction for herself, too.

She stared out across the water. The ocean was so vast, so expansive. The mere size could make a person feel unimportant, in the grand scheme of things, but it had the adverse effect on her. Being near the ocean made aware of all the endless possibilities, how life could take any turn at any time. What was in store for Cam and her? Would she be able to be strong enough to be there for him? She didn't have the faintest idea of the answers to those important questions, and it scared her. A wave swelled, rushing forward and crashed onto the sand, turning into white foam. The beauty of it distracted her from her serious train of thought.

"You forget how lucky you are, when you live here." Nikki said, staring out across the water.

"What do you mean?" Cameron asked her.

"The first time I went to the beach, in Florida with my parents, I didn't even want to leave. It was so calm and beautiful. And know sometimes I just forget that it's something special." She watched as another wave melted onto the shore, a powerful blue then digressing into foamy suds.

"It is. I love Playa Linda." he closed his eyes, letting the sun soak into his face.

She lay back next to him, and looked over at him before smiling and saying. "Yeah, I do too."

* * *

Upon returning to the house a little before lunchtime, Nikki and Cameron were both covered in sand and sticky from the saltwater. Both needed showers desperately. Upstairs in her bathroom Nikki showed Cam how to use the shower and showed him where the towels were. Though it was completely normal and innocent, she couldn't deny how awkward it was and quickly excused herself from the room.

After a speedy fifteen minutes, Cameron was done, but Nikki wasn't.

_God, girls take forever_, he thought to himself.

He headed downstairs for a drink, hoping he wouldn't run into anyone and be forced into an awkward, uncomfortable conversation.

To Cameron's dismay, he ran into Johnny at the bottom of the steps.

He immediately turned to go back up stairs. "Oh, no I was just on my way out to the restaurant." Johnny motioned to the door.

"No, no I've got to go upstairs and grab something anyway," Cameron turned to go back upstairs, gripping the railing, averting his gaze from Johnny. There was an awkward silence.

"Look, I, uh just wanted to say, I know how tough this is for you." Johnny told him. Cameron stared determinedly at the wall. "If it means anything, I've stood in your shoes before."

Cameron finally looked at Johnny. "Your dad?" he asked.

Johnny shook his head. "Mom. I was just a little younger than you are now." He paused. "I hated it too."

Cameron seemed to falter, and walked the last few stops to face Johnny. "But--um, your mom, she stopped though, she could stop?"

"Eventually." Johnny said, looking into Cameron's young, pained face. "But I had to tell her how much she was hurting me, how much she was hurting both of us."

"Y-yeah, but--I can't do that. I can't tell him." Cameron's voice cracked. "He'd hate me."

"No, no." Johnny said, trying to soothe him. "No, Cameron he won't hate you, alright?" Cameron started to lose control, and Johnny pulled him into a hug.

"Cameron, my boy, listen to me." Johnny said, hugging him tightly. "One thing I know, he'll never hate you." Cameron began to cry in earnest, allowing Johnny's huge to give him all the comfort he could.

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**Authors Note: **

**Thanks for reading another chapter! Leave me a review if you liked it.**

**Love, **

**Chris Grace  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Three**

A loud knock was heard on the beach house door. Ava opened the door to find a very angry Kyle Bale staring back at her.

"Where's my son?" He demanded, barging pass her into the living room.

"Kyle." Ava said loudly, turning to follow him. "Look, Kyle."

Johnny stood up quickly from the couch, moving to join Ava.

"What is this?" Kyle scoffed. "Reinforcements?"

"I'm just here to help," Johnny replied calmly.

Kyle looked out the patio doors, "Cameron, come on, buddy, we're getting out of here." He called loudly. Ava and Johnny stood in front of the staircase side by side.

"Kyle, Cameron is not leaving." Ava informed him, her voice firm. Kyle looked at her incredulously.

"Really? Well, we'll just have to see about that, won't we?" Kyle pushed between Johnny and Ava, starting up the stairs. Johnny grabbed his arm, pinning him up against the wall.

"Johnny, don't do this right now, okay?"

Nikki suddenly appeared on the stairs, with a shocked Cameron trailing close behind. Kyle pushed out of Johnny's grasp. "Cam, tell them everything's okay." He demanded, striding into the living room. Johnny and Ava stood side by side, once again blocking the stairway.

"No, it's not okay." Nikki spoke up from the stairs, "Cameron knows that. We all know it."

"Uh, I wasn't talking to you, Nikki." Kyle said, glaring up at her on the stairs. "Cameron, let's get out of here, buddy."

Nikki didn't back down. "You are going to _kill_ Cameron if you keep doing what you're doing. Do you not _realize _that?"

"And we're not going to let that happen, Kyle." Ava said firmly. Kyle looked down, before glancing up at Cameron.

"Cameron is not leaving, he is staying here with us until you face your problem." Ava told him bluntly.

"My problem?" Kyle raised his eyebrows in disbelief, "You're my problem," He pointed at Ava and Johnny. "Okay? My ex-wife is my problem. The bank taking my house away from me is my problem. " His voice started to get louder. Cameron stood watching his dad from the stairs a mixture of pain and hurt written across his face. "And the sooner you guys leave me alone, the better--"

"Kyle, Kyle, Kyle--" Johnny interrupted, placing his hand on the other man's shoulder. Cameron stepped down to stand on the same step as Nikki, entwining their fingers firmly and squeezing her hand for support. "The only way you are going to take care of all that is if you get handle on your drinking." He looked him in the eye. Kyle seemed to falter, Johnny continued, pointing at Cameron. "Take a look at your son."

Kyle looked up at Cameron, who wore a pained look on his face. Johnny moved his hand form Kyle's shoulder, who looked down in shame. He looked back up, locking eyes with his son. Tears were welling in his eyes.

"Cameron, I-I didn't mean to--" He stopped, looking down. He looked back up t Johnny, whispering. "I didn't...I _need_ him...I need my son."

"And he needs you, but not the way you are right now." Johnny told him softly. Kyle looked down. "I put a call in to Santa Pulma Recovery, they have a place reserved for you, I will drive you there myself." Kyle took a deep breath, covering his mouth with his hand. He took another look at Cameron's pained face. He turned and walked a few steps away from Johnny and Ava. Cameron dropped Nikki's hand after a final squeeze and hurried down the stairs.

"Dad." He said. He brushed past Johnny to approach his father. Kyle turned to face his son. "Dad. Please." He paused locking eyes with his father, "I need you to do this, we both need you to." He gazed up at his dad. "I want my dad back." Realization dawned on Kyle's haggard face. He pulled Cameron into a tight hug, giving all the comfort he could.

Nikki stood with her arms around her aunt, watching as Cameron finally admitted to his father how much the drinking was hurting him.

"It's going to be okay," Ava whispered in Nikki's ear soothingly, stroking her niece's hair. "Everything will be fine."

* * *

Following the incident with his father, Cam retreated up to Nikki's room. She hadn't followed him, thinking he might need some time alone. She waited an hour before popping her head in the door. Cameron lay on top of the covers, asleep, with her copy of _Life of Pi_ open on his chest. She smiled sadly at him. He looked more peaceful than he had in weeks.

Nikki tiptoed to the bed and gently took the book from his chest. She closed it and set it on her nightstand. Then she pulled a blanket up around his shoulders and tucked the edges under. She stared at him for a moment. She smoothed a strand of his soft brown hair that had gone amok.

"Sweet Dreams, Cam." she whispered to him, before silently leaving the room.

Three hours later, Cameron awoke disoriented. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, glancing around. He was in Nikki's room, and it was getting dark outside. Then it all came flooding back to him. He'd fallen asleep in Nikki's room after his father had barged into the house and caused a scene.

_He's getting help_. Cameron told himself reassuringly, after almost a year of drinking and more recently- abusing him- he was finally taking a step in the right direction.

Cameron climbed out of bed and went downstairs. Nikki's aunt and Johnny were in the kitchen and he could see Nikki outside on the swing through the patio door. He walked up quietly behind her and sat down on the swing beside her. She gave him a small smile and leaned her head on his shoulder.

The sky was painted with beautiful pinks and oranges as the sun set. Cameron took Nikki's small hand in his, in an act of solidarity. They were in this together now. There was no turning back. Realizing that, all other worries faded from his mind, and all that mattered was Nikki and him, swinging together as they watched the sun set over the Pacific Ocean.

* * *

Ava had been watching from the kitchen window.

She hated to break up the sweet moment, but they had to go pick up some clothes for Cameron.

"Guys?" Aunt Ava came onto the patio. Nikki lifted her head from her boyfriend's shoulder and glanced over her shoulder at her aunt.

"We need to go by and pick up some of Cameron's things from his house," she told them. "I'll be ready to leave when you two are."

Nikki nodded, "Okay." she got up from the swing, stretching. She'd been sitting there for awhile, and her muscles were stiff. Her aunt went back inside. "I just need to grab a sweater and then we can go."

Cameron nodded, following her into the house.

After grabbing her jacket from her bedroom, Cameron and Nikki got into the car with Ava. Cameron's house was only a short bike ride, so it was an even shorter car ride. No one said much of anything. Ava pulled into the driveway. As they got out of the backseat, Cameron let out a deep breath. "Let's get this over with." He muttered quietly to himself, heading towards the front door.

When they entered Cameron's house, they were met by the sharp scent of stale liquor. Nikki couldn't help but wince from the smell. Cameron couldn't help but wince in embarrassment.

Ava peeked into the living room, which was obviously Mr. Bale's favorite spot to get trashed due to the number of empty bottles all over the room, some broken, others still had some amber liquid in the bottom.

Ava stepped into the room, "Oh, dear." she said softly.

Nikki glanced at Cameron, who was visibly ashamed and embarrassed. He looked down, his face turning pink.

Nikki instinctively grasped his hand and squeezed.

"Well, I'll straighten up down here while you two pack up a suitcase."

Cameron led Nikki upstairs to his room. Nikki couldn't help but think that under normal circumstances, her aunt would rather die than leave them upstairs alone. _What weird times_, she thought to herself.

Cameron's room was like a safe haven from the rest of the house. It was as tidy as could be expected from a teenage boy, or rather, a mess. But it was a _comforting_ mess, Nikki thought. She had only been in his room a handful of times before. She'd never hung out much at Cameron's house, because, as she now knew, he was usually avoiding his dad. It just occurred to her how much he avoided her coming over, _I'm such and idiot for not realizing it sooner_.

The walls of his room were a grayish blue. It was a good sized bedroom, with posters of different bands and movies. He had a TV with his video game system hooked up, a desk with a computer, a dresser and a bookshelf. It was simple and very Cameron.

Cam looked visibly relieved once he was in his room. Nikki noticed. He dropped her hand and opened up his closet door. He pulled down a duffel bag from the top and threw it on his unmade bed.

He began pulling a few things off hangers and folding them sloppily. 'Folding' was a generous way to put it, as it was more like strategic wadding. She watched him for a minute, in horror.

"Cam." she said suddenly. he looked up. "Stop."

His eyes were wide with innocence and question. "What?"

"That is like, not even folding. At all." she said.

"Uh-huh!" he said in defense of himself, "It is!" he glanced down at the pathetic, sloppy pile of shirts.

She raised her eyebrows. A grin crept across her face.

"How about you get your stuff, I'll fold." she said, snatching the shirt he was about to wad into a ball.

Cameron was still indignant, "That is folding. Seriously, it is..." he stepped into his bathroom and began packing up toiletries.

Nikki smiled to herself. "You keep telling yourself that, Bale." she said, folding his last shirt he had pulled off the hanger. She turned and took her favorite polo shirt of his, which she hadn't seen him wear in awhile.

Cameron came out of the bathroom, "No, not that one.." he set the toiletry bag inside the duffel. He turned to his closet and picked out another, reaching for the one in her hands. She moved it out of his reach.

"This one is _my_ favorite so you have to bring it." she started to fold it again.

"Why? It's ancient." he tried to grab it again. "It's just a shirt, come on."

"Exactly. So I don't know why you're so opposed to bringing it." She set it on top of the stack and plucked the new shirt from Cam's hands. "Plus, _I _happen to think you look fetching in it." she said in a fake British accent.

Cam wagged his eyebrows, "Oh really, Miss Westerly?"

"Yes, of course, Mr. Bale." she grinned. _He's so great_.

Cameron took the shirt from her hands and dropped it onto the duffel bag beside him. The only sound was the distant noise of the vacuum cleaner downstairs.

They both stepped toward each other timidly, he gathered her into his arms. She folded into him. His hands were on her waist and he looked at her intensely through his ice blue eyes, which exuded only warmth. She wrapped her arms around his neck and they leaned toward each other. For the first time in what felt like forever, he was kissing her. His lips were urgent as he deepened the kiss. To Nikki, it was the most heart-stopping, most amazing kiss they'd shared in awhile.

The kiss continued to deepen, only breaking apart to come up for air. He guided her to the bed and in the process they tripped over a stray shoe. Nikki giggled nervously. They sat down. Nikki wasn't sure what to do except allow herself to be wrapped in his arms, kissing him.

Cameron pulled back suddenly.

"The vacuum cleaner..." he trailed off.

There was no noise from downstairs except approaching footsteps, then the door knob turning.

Ava opened the door to Cameron's room. Nikki was standing at the end of the bed, folding a shirt. Cameron was at the dresser picking out more stuff to bring.

Ava breathed a sigh of relief. She'd unconsciously left them alone upstairs. _They're such good kids._ She smiled.

"Almost finished?" she asked from the doorway.

Cameron turned, he was flustered, but Ava didn't notice.

"Um...almost, Miss Gregory." he smiled nervously. Did she suspect anything?

Nikki nodded too, her face was pink. Her hair stuck out a bit.

"Well, okay, Ten more minutes enough time?"

They nodded.

She turned from the doorway and went back downstairs.

Once she was sure that her aunt was back downstairs, Nikki caught Cameron's gaze.

She doubled over with nervous laughter, which soon turned into hysterics on both their parts.

Nikki caught her breath first.

"That...was..so..close."

She stopped laughing for a moment, glancing at her hair in the mirror, it had started out straight and neat but was now sticking up in the the back and messy.

"Oh my gosh." She pointed to her head, which started them in a new round of hysterics.

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**Authors Note: **

**Hello Everyone!**

**First off I would like to thank my dear reviewers! I'll try to send personal replies ASAP, but right now I'm focusing on getting as much of the story to you as I can.**

**I have terrible news, though. School started Monday. This year is my first year of high school...I barely have any classes with my friends. So I'm cranky. Therefore I'll soothe myself by finishing this chapter I have been milling over for days.**

**I love you all and appreciate your feedback! Enjoy the chapter!**

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! It's late and I have to go to bed. Ugh. The scene with Kyle is originally from the show, I just typed it out. Same with the Johnny/Cam scene from the previous chapter.**

**I love you all! Thank you for reviewing my chapters! **

**Don't worry. I'll probably be writing this during Geometry or Biology, so I'll just have to type it up hopefully. **

**Love, **

**Chris Grace**


	4. Chapter 4: PART ONE

**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Four, PART ONE**

Ava awoke early the next morning and came into the kitchen to find Bradin hovering over a stack of paper at the table. He looked up.

"Oh. Good Morning, Aunt Ava." he mumbled, going back to his work, scrunching his eyebrows together as he filled in one of the blanks.

"What's that you got there?" she asked curiously, opening the fridge.

"Application for an SAT prep course. It starts next week over at school." he said, starting on the next page. He looked up at his aunt's shocked face.

"SAT prep? Bradin, that's great! Why the sudden change of plans?" she asked him, a big grin spreading over her face.

Bradin smiled to himself, "A friend talked me into considering all my options." He set down his pen, stretching in his seat. "Hey, who knows? Maybe I'll go to college next year. Or maybe I'll keep surfing. She just said I shouldn't sell myself short."

"A very smart friend you've got there, Bradin." Ava stared at her nephew. _Maybe he'll get his life back on track_, she thought to herself.

Just then, Johnny came in. Ava's heart fluttered in her chest.

"Hey there." he said, raising his eyebrows as she stood with the door of the fridge wide open. "Ah, the ever looming question, 'What's for breakfast?' You up for one of my omelets?" Ava stepped aside and let him look in the fridge.

Ava nodded, "Always. And it looks like there are a few more to feed." she nodded toward the living room. Cameron and Nikki were sauntering down the stairs in their pajamas, not fully awake yet.

Nikki let out a long yawn as she entered the kitchen. "Good morning." she greeted them, rubbing her eyes. Cameron half-nodded in greeting, blinking the sleep from his eyes.

"Omelets okay, you two?" Johnny asked, pausing in mid-rummage of the fridge.

Nikki nodded as she and Cam took seats at the breakfast bar, trying to awaken themselves. A few minutes later, Derrick came downstairs, fully dressed and obnoxiously perky. His appearance and demeanor were in stark contrast to Nikki and Cameron.

"Do I smell omelets?" he asked Johnny cheerfully, plopping down on the stool next to Cameron.

"Yep, buddy you sure do." Johnny said with a grin and a flip of the spatula.

"Y'know, Cam, if you haven't ever had Johnny's omelets they are only, like, the best ever." Derrick rambled. Cameron nodded politely and said 'yeah' a few times, not understanding how someone could be so happy early in the morning.

Finally, Johnny was finished cooking breakfast and Cameron and Nikki took theirs out onto the patio. It was chilly out, because of the strong wind. The sky was overcast, giving the beach an eerie, grayish glow. The waves were huge and crashing furiously on the shore. They were both shivering in their t-shirts and flannel pajama pants, but it was worth it just to be alone together. They sat down, side by side, on the steps facing the ocean, knees touching.

"I talked to my mom last night." Cameron said, his voice was flat. He took a bite of his omelet.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Nikki asked. She didn't know much about Cameron's mom, but she knew they weren't very close. He stayed with her every other weekend at her house in North Playa Linda. She scooted her food around on her plate.

"Well." Cameron sighed, "She's going to pick me up up tonight and take me back to her house, and I'll be there the rest of the summer."

Nikki's stomach dropped. She knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but she had been hoping for later. "Ugh. Are you serious?" Nikki's expression changed to one of pure sadness. "This is our last day together?"

Cameron nodded. "I guess we just have to make the most of it." he smiled rather sadly and took her hand in his. She leaned on him slightly.

"What do you wanna do today?" he asked.

_Besides make out with you all day long?_

"Um, I'm not sure. We should take a walk on the beach before it starts storming." she suggested airily, staring into the churning waves thoughtfully.

"Sounds good."

They finished their breakfast in silence and went back into the house to put up their dishes. Derrick and Bradin had retreated back upstairs, and Johnny and Ava appeared to be in their own little world at the table, talking and laughing. Nikki couldn't help but recognize the way Johnny was staring at Ava--it poignantly reminded her of the way her dad used to look at her mom.

She cleared her throat. Their heads snapped in her direction.

"Enjoy the omelets, kiddos?" Johnny asked cheerfully. Nikki felt a smile creeping on to her face, Johnny was practically glowing from just spending time with Ava. Nikki felt grateful that he had finally moved back into the house. It was only a matter of time before they got back together.

"They were good, Johnny. Me and Cam are going for a walk on the beach, we won't be gone too long."

"Sure, honey. Be careful." Ava said absently. Nikki was almost sure that if she'd been chatting with anyone besides Johnny, she would have noticed the storm brewing outside and point blank refused to let them leave.

* * *

In minutes, they were back downstairs. They had changed out of their pajamas and into jeans and sweatshirts.

"Bye, Aunt Ava!" Nikki called out to her aunt, dragging Cam out the patio doors. She ran, pulling him behind her, to the shore. In the couple of minutes they were inside, the water had become even more violent. Nikki heard the sound of faint thunder in the distance.

"Let's get caught in it." she said suddenly, turning to look up at him with a glimmer in her eye.

"Huh?" Cameron looked down at her, confused. His hair was whipping furiously in the turbulent wind.

"Well, Aunt Ava is obviously preoccupied with Johnny. And she never lets me walk on the beach during a storm, so, let's get caught in it."

Cameron grinned. "Okay, Nik, You're kind of scaring me here... but, why not? A little lightning bolt never hurt anyone."

Nikki laughed and started to walk towards the pier that was about a mile down the beach. They strolled in silence as the wind howled harshly, but they didn't mind. Cameron took Nikki's hand and laced his fingers with hers. Nikki felt an unmistakable calm come over her, contrasting greatly with her surroundings. Eventually, Cam broke the silence.

"I've had fun staying at your house." he said quietly.

"Me too." she agreed quickly. "You know, you being there."

He nodded. "We've both been pretty preoccupied lately, so I'm glad we've gotten _something_ good out of all of this. Some time together."

She nodded. "Yeah, we've spent zero time together since I got back from Kansas. That part has been good."

"My mom's house isn't too bad of a bike ride, if you know the short cuts. Definitely if you avoid the boardwalk. And my mom or your aunt's roommates can drive us." He said reasonably.

"And you'll still be working at Tiki Squeeze, right?" she questioned hopefully.

"I kind of got fired the other day, for missing so much work." he admitted.

"Oh. I'm sorry, Cam. That really sucks." she squeezed his hand slightly.

"Yeah. Whatever. I'll probably get a job closer to my Mom's house. No big deal."

"When does your dad come home?" she stopped walking, and plopped down on the sand. Cam did the same. They sat for a moment listening to the rhythmic waves crash on the shore.

"A couple of weeks before school starts, I think." he dug his feet into the sand and leaned back on his elbows.

"So that means you'll be at her house for the rest of summer?" Nikki kind of whined, glancing back at him.

"That's exactly what it means." A grin began to creep up onto his lips. "The world is just out to get us, huh?"

"Mmhmm."

A roar of thunder echoed over the ocean, sending shivers up and down Nikki's spine. Thunderstorms had always both thrilled her and scared her. Part of her was exhilarated by the scope of a large storm: the crashing sounds of the thunder, the flashing of the lightning, the intensity of the rain. But after her parents' deaths, part of her always thought of her parents--helpless under the weight of the water from the broken dam. It was just one of her many perceptions that had changed. In Playa Linda, the sounds were always amplified by the water, making the storm seem even more powerful. There were some daring surfers taking advantage of the large waves, she watched as one wiped out. They had to be crazy. In general, getting struck by lightning was not high on her priority list.

"So why aren't you close to her? Your Mom." Nikki asked abruptly.

Cameron sighed. "It's always been this way, She's the less dependable parent, I guess. She's had a drinking problem for awhile, actually."

"She has?" Nikki was surprised. What good would staying with her do, then? Maybe her house really was the best place for him.

"Well, you know. Always seemed to have a drink after work, or a few drinks. Things between her and my dad weren't going well. She was stressed over work a lot of the time. Her way of coping involved several cups of wine, basically. She never..." he paused, "hit me, or anything. Just kind of was there." he looked down. "I think that's one of the reasons they got a divorce. Her drinking. And it just got worse once they ended it. For him, too. After Mom moved out, he started having an extra beer during dinner. And it only got worse."

"Your dad..he wasn't drinking before...?" Nikki asked softly.

"He drank in consideration. He used that against her in court."

"In court?"

"The custody battle. That was going on around the time we met, they both decided it'd be good to send me off to camp to get me out of their hair. My mom was originally going to get custody, and it was looking good for her for awhile, then my dad 'accidentally' brought up that she drank more than she should. " he glanced at Nikki, who was looking at him intently.

"My mom was devastated. She hasn't touched a drop of alcohol since."

_Unlike your dad, who was a slave to it for God knows how long, _she thought to herself.

"I'm sorry, Cam." Nikki wrapped her arms around him for a minute, then pulled back. "Your mom gave up drinking for you. You should try to make things good with her. A mom isn't something you should waste."

"I know," Cam said softly, "She had no idea that he had started drinking, I haven't told her anything. She kept going on and on about how she has failed me and how she should have noticed. All of that stuff."

Nikki was silent.

"Let's not talk about this anymore. It's too depressing." Cam stood up and then gave Nikki his hand to pull her up.

He held onto her hand and they continued to walk to the pier.

Cameron stopped walking for a moment. He turned to face her and planted the sweetest, softest kiss on her lips. They smiled at each other and continued walking.

The tide was getting higher and the wind was blowing harder. Most people were going in from the beach, leaving only a few people walking along the water and a few fearless (or crazy) surfers trying to catch a good wave. The thunder was becoming more frequent.

They reached the pier, the sand was whipping furiously in the wind. Nikki was glad to be wearing long sleeves.

Suddenly, with no warning, it began to pour. The intensity of it shocked Nikki at first. It didn't start off lightly, and then build in intensity. It started off pouring buckets. In a matter of seconds they were both soaked from head to toe.

The thunder echoed over the beach, mixing with their shouts of laughter.

"Oh my god, Cam, this is _crazy_!" Nikki was spinning around like a kid, arms out, laughing. As a kid, she'd loved to go outside in the rain. This storm trumped any she'd every experienced, however. It was exhilarating, powerful, scary. All at once, she felt waves of so many emotions coursing through her. She reached out her hands to Cameron, delighted that he was with her.

He grabbed her hands and twirled her around and around.

Nikki let go, and they both lost their balance and collapsed onto the sand. The rain coming in forceful waves now. She felt like a little kid, sitting on the beach, laughing with Cameron.

There was a bolt of lightning, and Cameron glanced up at the sky.

"I think that's our cue that we should head back." he said, as another flash of lightning lit up the sky.

They started back, Nikki linked her arm with Cameron's.

She smiled up at him. The rain was coming slower now. "I'm glad we're us."

"Yeah, I'm glad we're us, too."

They walked in silence, the rain still falling down on their already soaked bodies.

_Oh my god. I love him._ Nikki was smiling to herself as this revelation hit her again, as it had been doing the past few days. The first time she had blurted it out to Aunt Ava. This time it just came to her._ I love him._

She glanced sideways at him. Again he gave her that heart-stopping, intense gaze. She wondered for a second if he loved her back, but then her thoughts were interrupted by another loud rumble of thunder and clap of lighting, and they walked a little faster.

When they reached her house, they sat down on the swing, not ready to go in yet. The rain was still coming down, but now in soft sheets. The intense waves of emotion Nikki had felt in the thick of the storm had subsided with the storm itself. Once again she felt the soothing calm drape itself around her.

Cameron looked over at Nikki. Rain droplets were caught on her thick eye lashes and her hair was dripping wet. She wrung out her long hair and noticed Cam watching her.

"What?" she asked.

"No, it's nothing." He smiled. "You just look really pretty." A blush crept up on his cheeks.

Nikki's ears burned. "Thank you."

He wrapped his arm around her and it stayed there until the rain stopped, and they had no excuse to be out there anymore.

They came into the house, their clothing heavy and sopping wet. Ava scolded them for staying out in the storm, but gave up when it was apparent that they just smiled sheepishly, and didn't even pretend to show remorse. Ava rolled her eyes, pointed to the stairs, and they once again they trooped upstairs sopping wet.

* * *

An hour later, Nikki and Cameron were freshly showered and dry. They were sitting on the couch in the TV room, flipping channels.

"Hm, the Real World." Nikki said, Cam stopped on the channel. "Never mind. I've seen that one. Keep going."

Finally after a few more channels, they stopped on a marathon of Fresh Prince.

After a few minutes, Nikki sighed. "This is boring. Let's go somewhere."

"Like where?" Cam turned off the TV.

"Um, we could go see the new Adam Sandler at the theater." Nikki suggested. "Or we could go to Mambo Juice and grab a snack."

"Let's just walk around and decide then." Cam stood up and pulled up Nikki with him.

"Aunt Ava?" Nikki called. She found her aunt upstairs with Susannah and Colby gathered around Ava's drafting table, consulting one another over fabric samples.

"The magenta is too loud and showy. The aqua would give it a more peaceful, more sophisticated feel." Ava was reasoning with her partners. "The dress design might be pigeonholed if the color is too bright. Most women reach for a soft blue before some crazy pink."

"But I_ love_ the magenta!" Colby insisted, grabbing at the yard of fabric Ava was holding.

"You two are completely ignoring the yellow." Susannah held up another square of fabric.

"Aunt Ava?" Nikki stood in the doorway, Cam at her side.

"Oh, Nikki, Hun! Fourth opinion!" Colby waved her into the room, holding up the different samples of fabric.

Nikki came in, a grin spreading across her face. He was so flamboyant. He often used Nikki as a tool to potentially overthrow Susannah and Ava's strong opinions. However, it rarely worked.

"So out of these." He held up a square of magenta, aqua, pale yellow and one of bright orange.

"It's safe to say no to the magenta and the orange." Nikki sad, her grin spreading.

"Traitor!" Colby accused, eyes wide.

"The aqua or yellow." She thought for a moment. "The yellow."

"That's my girl!" Susannah said victoriously. She held up the yellow square. "This, my friends, will make a sundress worthy of Donna Karan herself."

"You betrayed me!" Colby said to Nikki.

Nikki laughed, "Sorry, the magenta is too showy. Anyway, Aunt Ava, me and Cam are going to the movies."

"Will you need a ride back? Or?" Ava asked distractedly, studying the design in her sketchbook.

"Nah." Nikki shook her head. "We'll walk."

"Okay, sweetheart, just take your cell phone," And Ava was onto her next task.

"See ya!" Nikki grabbed Cam's hand and dragged him out of the workroom.

* * *

**Authors Note: **

**Oh my gosh, guys. I'm so sorry. I haven't updated in like, a month. First I had this really good idea, then I forgot it, then I got writer's block, then my teachers went crazy and assigned me 10,000 things to do and being the loser that I am, I procrastinated. Then, the cherry on top of the cake is that my mom decided to GROUND ME for, "mouthing off" and being "bratty" which I usually get away with since I'm usually a pretty good daughter, but no my mom decided to be a parent when my poor, sweet reviewers were DYING OF AGONY**

**Life just isn't fair, huh?**

**And since you're nodding and crying at my soap opera like a good person should, I present you with... (drum roll please CHAPTER CAUTRO! (part uno) (Did I forget to mention that I have MAD SPANISH SKILLS! I do. Be scared, be very scared.)**

**Hehe. I love you guys. Seriously. You rule.**

**I'm sorry it took so long!**

**I'm sorry it's not the full Chapter! I just wanted to give you guys an update. I love you all! Personal replies to the reviews next chapter, mmkay?**

**Love,**

**Chris Grace**


	5. Chapter 4: PART TWO

**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Four: PART TWO **

It was now seven in the evening and Nikki and Cam were walking back to her house after their day out together.

They caught a matinee of an Adam Sandler movie in the early afternoon and then walked to the popular arcade. Both places were pretty deserted. The movie theater that usually swarmed with people their age was only occupied by grandmothers treating their grandchildren to a movie or rendezvousing with the ladies from Tuesday night bingo.

At STATIC!, the arcade, Nikki successfully humiliated Cameron at Pump it Up! pretty badly. He, of course, beat her at the driving games. They got tickets for their scores, which they could trade in at the prize counter. After hours of playing, they had a considerable amount of tickets.

The gangly red head behind the counter weighed their tickets.

"You have 403 credits." He said in a nasal voice, his lower lip jutted out in a funny way.

Nikki scanned the top row of prizes. The big stuffed animals were 25,000 tickets each.

"Man, are they serious?" Cam complained to Nikki. "We've been playing games for hours."

Nikki shrugged, the only things that seemed within their range were in little bins.

"We could always get matching rubber spider rings.." Nikki joked, picking one of them up out of the bin.

"Or 'All New Super Duper Glow-In-The-Dark Bouncy Balls' !" Cameron said enthusiastically, giving Nikki a cheesy, almost demented grin.

"Right." Nikki scanned the counter. "How about I pick out something for you, and you can pick out something for me?"

"Hm..." Cameron peered over her head, hands on her shoulders, thinking for a minute.

"Please?" Nikki looked over her shoulder at him, a little grin playing on her lips.

"Fine." he said, acting like it was a big deal. "But remember I really like those pink hair ribbons over there." He dropped his hands from her shoulders reluctantly, "I'll be outside."

Nikki grinned as she watched Cameron go outside the arcade. She turned back to the prizes to decide what to get him with only two hundred tickets. Finally, she decided on a stupid light-up pen. She'd wanted to choose him something clever or meaningful, but the lack of credits made it hard.

She stepped outside the arcade into the darkening night, where Cameron was leaned against the wall of the arcade, on his cell phone.

"Okay. Bye." Cameron closed his phone.

"Finished?" he asked.

"Yep," Nikki dangled the little plastic bag on her wrist. "Your turn."

Cameron entered the arcade and left Nikki outside the building. She quickly pulled out her cell phone to text Amber.

_A, Cameron is going back to his Mom's tonight. :(_

Nikki pushed send and closed her phone. When speaking with Amber the night before, she told her only the basics--that Cameron's dad was having problems (she didn't specify, Amber was smart enough not to pry) and that Cameron was staying with her for a little while. As she waited for Amber's reply, she tried to peer in the window to see what Cam was picking for her. His body was blocking her view of the counter.

Her cell phone chimed, and she flipped it open.

_He is? :( Tomorrow I'll come over for a girl's day, okay? Sleepover?_

Nikki smiled as she read Amber's text. Sure, Amber could be flaky sometimes, and even downright bitchy, but she was also truly Nikki's friend. One of the best she'd ever had, in fact. Once they moved past the competition for Cameron's attention, they found out that they were too similar to dislike each other. Once past the boyfriend drama, they were able to have some pretty fun times together.

Nikki gave her a short thanks and said she had to go, because Cameron was approaching.

Cam was grinning at her. "Let's walk down to the pier," he suggested, motioning with his head.

Nikki nodded slightly, feeling shy.

Once at the pier, Nikki gave Cameron his dorky pen. Nikki kind of blushed, "I know it's stupid, but..."

Cameron grinned, interrupting her. "No, it's great." he insisted.

"I'm glad your such a good sport, Cam." Nikki leaned back against the pier's railing, watching as it was her boyfriend's turn to be adorably awkward. He fumbled with the bag. "Close your eyes and hold out your wrist." he instructed. Nikki obliged, a small smile playing on her lips. Hopefully he didn't get one of those Chinese finger traps. She felt him fasten a bracelet onto her wrist.

"You can open your eyes now."

Nikki opened her yes, and her gaze wandered to the delicate charm bracelet now fastened to her wrist. It was one of those cheap kinds, only to be found at an arcade prize store. It was pretty, though, with small silver charms hanging from it.

"Cam, it's so pretty." Nikki breathed, finally tearing her eyes away from her gift to meet Cameron's electric blue ones. He was blushing slightly, and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on her pale cheek.

"Thank you." Nikki entwined her fingers with his, and they began walking home to Nikki's.

Almost home, Cameron broke the silence.

"My mom called while you were inside without me, she's picking me up at nine." he said, his voice dull.

Nikki's heart dropped. "Are you serious? Only an hour and a half left?"

Cam nodded slightly,"We'll make the most of it." he glanced down at Nikki, "We always do, right?"

It was Nikki's turn to nod, "We always do." she echoed, squeezing Cameron's hand slightly.

* * *

Back at the house, Cameron reluctantly started to gather his things. In his short stay there, his possessions were pretty scattered. Nikki stood stiffly next to him, folding his clothes neatly as she had before. He picked up a CD of hers that he'd listened to a few times. "Hey, can I take his home and copy it?" He held it up.

She nodded slightly. Packing was not the happy affair it had been a day ago.

Cam was noticeably grim, too.

Suddenly, Nikki noticed the shirt Cameron had on. It was her favorite 'ancient' shirt she had insisted he bring with him. The one he had not succeeded in folding properly the night before.

"Nice shirt." she commented with a small grin.

"Oh? This old thing? You like it?" Cameron asked nonchalantly, as though he had no idea.

Soon all of Cameron's belongings were packed, and the not so happy young couple walked down the stairs together.

Ava and Johnny were sitting together on the couch. Ava stood when they entered room. She gave Cameron a few encouraging words and a kiss on the cheek. Johnny started in with a macho, firm handshake, but ended up hugging Cam anyway.

Cam gave a few quick good-byes to the others before he and Nikki went outside to wait.

The front of the house had many steps leading down to the street, and Nikki and Cameron went and sat at the bottom. He set his heavy duffel bag down and sat down beside it. Nikki settled down on his opposite side.

Cameron wrapped an arm around her small shoulders. Nikki wrapped her left arm around him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"It's not like it's the end, but I can't help but feel sad." Nikki commented absently.

"Yeah, well, it's been fun, yesterday and today." Cameron said.

"I know it's been tough for you, Cam." Nikki said softly.

"Well. I hope he can just...you know, change, that's all." Cameron stared off into the distance.

"So do I. I really do." Nikki lifted her head from his shoulder and caught his eye.

"He will." she said confidently, more for his benefit than for her own.

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"I don't want to face my mom." Cameron admitted suddenly.

"Why not?"

"She's going to be all emotional and blame herself. Stuff like that. Constantly ask if I'm okay." Cameron gave a bitter laugh. "But what can I do?"

Nikki squeezed his hand in support, "Well, not much I guess, except try to convince her it's not her fault." she said honestly.

"Its been awhile since we've really talked. I don't really want to tell her everything." He shook his head. "I don't know how she's going to react. I don't want to upset her."

"She's going to be upset, Cam. But you can't really do anything about that. She'll want you to be open and let her in." _Like I want_, she thought to herself. When they talked about his father, she got the feeling he was still holding back. It made her uncomfortable. What was he keeping to himself?

Cameron nodded. "You're so smart, Nik." he said earnestly. His tone sent chills down her spine. He brushed her cheek softly with his free hand. Their lips met in a long, sweet kiss.

The moment was perfect. So, naturally, Cameron's cell phone began ringing.

He cursed under his breath, reluctantly pulling away. He fumbled with his phone.

"Hello?" He asked, somewhat rudely. His face fell.

"Okay." He paused. "Okay, see you soon." he hung up his cell phone.

"Your mom?" Nikki guessed.

Cameron nodded. Nikki sighed and pulled away from him.

He pulled her into a loose half-hug.

She let her muscles relax against him.

"Hey," he said softly. "We have all summer."

"I know." Nikki admitted into his shoulder. "But I just want you to be here and be okay."

"I know."

They were still embracing when Cameron's mom pulled up a minute later. The headlights illuminated the street, and they both quickly stood up. He leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. His mom rolled down the window and Cam briefly introduced them.

"Mom, this is my girlfriend, Nikki. Nikki, my mom."

His mom smiled, she was a petite woman with dark hair, yet even in the nighttime, Nikki could tell where Cam had gotten his eyes.

"Hi, Nikki. It's nice to meet you." She said with a small friendly wave.

Nikki nodded half-heartily. "It's nice to meet you, too." His mom rolled the window closed to give them a last moment of privacy.

He wrapped her in a loose, quick hug. Picking up his stuff, he turned to the car.

"Hey, Cam." Nikki said, as he reached for the door handle. "Are you?"

"Huh?"

"Going to be okay?"

Cameron paused for a moment, his brows furrowed. His handsome face was entirely honest.

"I hope so."

And with that, Cameron was gone.

* * *

**  
****Author's Note:**

**Thanks for sticking with YAMR for yet another chapter! If you liked it, leave me a review! They make me happy and make me write faster, 'cause I know someone is waiting! :)**

**Love,**

**Chris Grace**


	6. Chapter 5

**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Five**

A solitary ray or sunlight shone through the curtains of Nikki's room, disturbing her sleep. Grunting, she draped her arm across her face to block the light. She continued to doze, before shifting positions to sleep on her side. She opened her eyes slightly as she did so, revealing someone sitting on her floor, leaned up against the wall.

Nikki gasped, sitting up in shock.

"Amber!" she croaked. Her best friend was sitting propped up on a pillow, flipping through an old Cosmo and shoving chips in her mouth.

"Well, Good Afternoon to you, too, Sleeping Beauty." Amber said in her usual sarcastic tone.

"What are you doing here? What time is it, anyway?" Nikki questioned.

"As you remember I invited myself over for today, and so I called," Amber checked her cell, "Approximately twelve times, with no answer. Then I decided I'd just come over anyway. It's, like, 1:30. Your aunt wasn't sure if you were awake or not so she told me to just come up anyway."

"Wow, it's late. I was exhausted." Nikki rubbed her eyes with her palms and swung her feet off the bed.

"Yeah, I figured. God knows what sort of naughty hanky-panky you and Cam have been up to at night." Amber said seriously, nodding her head as though she was concerned. "He slept here, what? Two nights? How can you even _walk_?"

Nikki gasped. "_Amber_!" Her friend was known to say some outrageous things, but her innuendos made Nikki's face burn with embarrassment.

"Oh! I knew it! I was right!" she exclaimed, a wide grin spreading across her face.

"_As if._ Who do you think I am?" Nikki threw a pillow at her. "You?"

"Oh. That was cold." Amber stood up, coming toward Nikki intimidatingly. "You wanna take this to the street, huh? _Huh_?" she said in her best gangster intimidation.

Nikki stood up from bed, her eyebrows raised. "Can we take rain check?" she asked. "There's food downstairs that's calling my name."

"Good, Nikki. You're making this easy on me. I thought you weren't even going to venture out of these four walls." she said with a sigh of relief.

"Well. I thought about that. But it'd be rude to make you sit in my room all day flipping through magazines and starving." Nikki reasoned.

"You think I came unprepared?" Amber asked. She pointed to a bag that was overflowing with junk food.

"I'm so glad you expect the worst from me, Amb." Nikki laughed. She was a little sad Cameron was gone from her house, him staying there lessened her anxiety for him--knowing he was safe and away from the stress of his parents, but she wasn't emotionally unstable. She could handle the separation.

"Well you know how I am." Amber eyed Nikki's clothes. "Cute shirt, but I take it those aren't your pajamas?"

Nikki glanced down. She was still in her outfit from last night.

"Yes, actually, I always sleep in my cutest outfits." she insisted.

"As I said before, you're Sleeping Beauty." Amber put her hands on her hips. "Strike a pose, girlfriend."

Nikki did some crazy pose, her lips pursed in a fish-like way. Tyra Banks would definitely approve.

"Sexy." Amber pretended to take her picture. "That's perfect, doll."

Nikki laughed. "Come on, if we keep this up, I'll starve."

The two teenagers ventured downstairs. Johnny was pouring himself a drink at the counter.

"Hey, Girls." he greeted them. "Finally decided it was time to get up, huh, Nik?"

"At 1:30? That's early. You know me, I'm a 3:30 kind of girl." she said with a grin.

"Yeah, but when she saw my beautiful face in her room it was much better than all her dreams and she just had to get up so we could spend super fun quality time together!"

"Of course." Nikki agreed. She peeked into the freezer. "Don't we have anything edible in this house?" she asked, glancing at Johnny with a disgusted look on her face. Frozen fish sticks were not her cup of tea.

"Well, if you'll help me with these groceries, then maybe there will be." A voice said from behind.

Nikki turned to see her aunt standing by the breakfast bar, arms full of groceries.

"Amber, that's our cue." Nikki grabbed her friend by the arm and pulled her out of the kitchen.

In minutes, with the help of Nikki and Amber, all the groceries were brought in. Immediately, the girls began searching the bags, scoping out what Nikki considered 'edible'.

"Ah, perfect." Amber pulled out a bag of microwavable cheese sticks.

"Oh, so unhealthy, yet so wonderful." Nikki commented with a grin.

Ava rolled her eyes. "Somehow I knew you girls were going to zero in on those."

Nikki proceeded to heat them up in the microwave and grabbed sodas for her and Amber. It was lunchtime, after all. Even if she'd just woken up. Food and drinks in hand, the girls plopped down on the couch in the empty living room.

"Let's see," Amber picked up the remote. "Let's find a good chick flick you can cry to."

She flipped through the channels, dismissing each as she went. "No..No...As if...Ah, The Notebook."

Nikki rolled her eyes. "Okay, so it's a good movie, but I swear, could the end be any sappier?"

"Not much. Now, go ahead." Amber insisted, taking a sip of her Sprite.

Nikki swallowed the bite she was chewing. "And do what, exactly?"

"Wallow in self pity, cry into the cheese sticks, whine about how Cameron is fifteen miles away at his Mom's."

"I have no plans to wallow in self pity while eating cheese sticks and watching The Notebook." Nikki said with a tight smile. Amber was kind of crazy sometimes.

"Oh, sure you do." Amber said breezily, popping a bite of food into her mouth.

"No, not much, anyway. How about we _laugh_ while watching some other movie and how about no crying on the food?"

"Sounds good." Amber settled back into the couch. "But if you need a tissue, that's cool too!"

Nikki rolled her eyes, but laughed anyway. They decided on another movie, and there was no crying into the food.

By the end of the movie, Nikki was in a considerably better mood. Cam always insisted that bad acting in a low grade comedy would lift her spirits.

"This wasn't enough." Amber said.

"Wait..what'd you say?" Nikki asked, snapping out of her thoughts.

"You're still thinking 'bout Cam." Amber said in a sing-song voice.

"No! I'm not."

Amber wasn't buying it, her arms were crossed and her eyebrows raised, suspicious.

"Uh huh."

"Well, I don't think he'll ever be off my mind completely." Nikki said, defensively. "I'm just kind of worried for him, that's all."

"See! That's exactly it!" Amber said, jumping up and staring accusingly at her friend. "You can't change his family, so there's no use killing yourself over it when its out of your control."

"What do you mean?"

"I dated him, too, Nikki. I knew things weren't great at home. I knew there wasn't anything I could say to him or do for him." Nikki was a little uncomfortable with the turn this conversation was taking. Was Amber implying there was no use? That seemed a little pessimistic. Amber saw the look on Nikki's face, and she softened.

"Nik, I know you're worried about him. And that's okay, but you can't spend every waking moment of the summer worrying about him. You need some distraction."

Nikki looked away, knowing Amber was right, but not liking it one bit. She wanted it to be different for him, _so_ much. Worrying wouldn't change anything, but it seemed unfair for her to be out having fun when Cameron was going through hell with his family.

"Come on, let's go shopping. There's a 75% off sale at our favorite store. And I think some new sandals are just what you need."

The idea was a little shallow, yes, but it sounded very _very_ tempting.

"Okay," she stood up from the couch, grinning at her friend. "Let's go." She was willing to make an effort to distract herself. Of course, Amber knew exactly the \proper preoccupation.

In minutes, Nikki was changed from the rumpled clothes she had worn the night before and into a new outfit. She washed her face and pulled her straight dark blond hair into a loose low ponytail.

"I'm ready!" she announced dramatically, grabbing her purse off her desk .

"In record time, too, only took you like, what? Five minutes." Amber pointed out, amused.

"Let's just say I'm in need of retail therapy. And new shoes." she cracked a grin.

"And aren't you the one that always bugs me about, 'not letting my happiness depend on material things' and 'its dangerous to shop when your emotions are messed up,' that it leads to 'financial distress'?"

"Did I say that?" Nikki cocked her head to one side. "Funny, I don't recall this particular conversation."

"Mmhmm. Last Wednesday to be exact." Amber raised her eyebrows. "I take it that you take that all back?"

"Yes, now let's shop!" Nikki extended her arm to her best friend.

"Let's." Amber laughed and took her lovable, if not a little hypocritical, friend's arm.

* * *

Amber was famous for being a shoe fiend. But Nikki wasn't far behind her. In her year of living on the beach she had acquired many pairs of sandals, but, being a girl, there was always room for more shoes in her closet.

Sweet Feet was the most popular shoe store in Playa Linda for the under 25 female set. It was located conveniently in the mall, and despite it's dumb name, the store was usually packed with girls. Top Forty music beat through the speakers as shoppers browsed the trendiest styles. The 75% off sale was no secret. The majority of Playa Linda teenage girls seemed to be jam packed in the small store.

Amber elbowed her way straight to the best deals. Shoving her way through a pack of idle shoppers--who shot them dirty looks--she stopped in front of a bin that had a magenta Sale sign. The two girls began sifting through the shoes. It was obvious some of the season's chunky metallic sandals hadn't sold well.

"God, these are awful. They look like Spice Girl shoes." Amber held up one of the unpopular metallic shoes. A girl next to them was holding a pair too. She looked offended, dropping the shoes back in the bin before sauntering off. Nikki had to stifle a laugh. Only a year ago, Amber's snide sense of humor had offended her, too. Oh, how time changed things. They kept sifting though the bin when a popular Maroon 5 song came on. _This is fun_, Nikki had to admit to herself. _Just what I needed._

Nikki held up a pair of blue sequined flip-flops. "Regularly twenty-four , they're six now."

"Those are adorable. I've taught you so well. Those go with that skirt, too." She pointed at Nikki's flowy print skirt.

They continued to shop. Amber zeroed in on all the best deals and styles, even finding the last pair of pretty strappy sandals in her size for 10 dollars. Paying at the counter, they each got a 50% off coupon for the nail place down the street for spending 20 dollars or more.

Amber insisted they go get pedicures. "It's only fitting since we got so many new pairs of shoes!"

Nikki rolled her eyes. "We're such girls. It's so cliche. Like, let's go get, like, our nails done!"

"Like, totally!" Amber caught Nikki's sarcastic tone, grinning. The left the store, walking with their shopping bags swinging between them. As they left the mall, they spotted a familiar face. The ever so nauseating Carrie.

"Oh hey, Amber!" Carrie greeted in her usual unpleasant but falsely sweet tone, "And, Nikki." She added her name as an afterthought. Nikki resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"Hey Carrie, How's your summer been?" Amber asked pleasantly. She and Carrie used to be close, but since she and Nikki had gotten closer, they didn't hang out nearly as much. However, even Amber didn't desire the added drama of Carrie as her enemy. Pleasantries were necessary to keep the peace.

Nikki forced herself to pull the corners of her mouth into a tight, fake smile.

"You know, I've been busy, I just got back from Cancun, actually." She bragged, swinging her Hollister bag.

"Oh, did you have fun?"

Carrie nodded enthusiastically. Nikki noticed that her lips were shellacked in gooey lip gloss, her eyes covered in bright, tacky shadow.

"Yeah, it was okay. Not as nice as Cabo. But enough about me," Nikki had to refrain from rolling her eyes once again, like Carrie ever got sick of talking about herself. She lived just to hear herself speak.

"What have you been up to?" she asked brightly.

"The usual. Hanging with Nikki, going to the beach, shopping." Amber held up her bag, Nikki noticed she left out working at Tiki Squeeze. It wasn't a common known fact that Amber's parents were less than affluent. Amber had to work for everything she had. Not that someone like Carrie, daughter of two high power lawyers, would understand.

"Oh, fun." Carrie turned to Nikki and gave her an unpleasant smile. "

What about you? Are you still going out with what's-his-face...Connor? Calvin?"

Nikki gave her a tight smile. God, it would feel so good to punch someone right now. And she wasn't even a violent person!

"His name is Cameron. But yes, we are." Her voice was icy. Carrie was just the kind of person to bring out the worst in her. Carrie ignored her response and turned back to Amber.

"Well, Amber, it was so great catching up with you! Call me sometime." She blew her a kiss, though they were only a foot apart. "Tootles, girlfriend!"

"See ya!" Amber said, and they continued on their way to the nail salon. Once they were far enough away, Nikki spoke.

"I think I threw up a little in my mouth when she approached." Nikki said cheerfully.

"I can't believe she called him Connor." Amber burst into a fit of giggles. "I happen to know that she's known him for like, four years."

"Oh god, she's too irritating." Nikki couldn't help but laugh a little. "Cancun was so horrible! All that room service and beautiful beaches, great shopping!"

"Absolutely terrible!" Amber stopped walking, grasping Nikki's arm. "They didn't even have personalized towels!"

Nikki gasped. "The horror!"

* * *

They returned to Nikki's house an hour later, their feet were perfectly smooth and they're toenails neatly painted. The staff had treated them like queens. A tall blond with a Colgate Total grin tended to Nikki, while a petite Asian woman tended to Amber.

The blissful, quiet hour in the salon had done a lot for Nikki's mental state. Ever since Cameron had stood her up at the movies, her mind had been all over the place. First she was afraid he wanted to break up with her, but then he had admitted to her that his father had a drinking problem. From then on everything had been a blur. Ava and Susannah leaving on their business trip, the poetry reading, Ava coming back home, Bradin's crazy deadbeat surfer friends, and then the past few days.

It was a lot of stress for a girl to handle. Nikki willingly took the quiet time in the salon, a fashion magazine in her lap, and let the soft love ballads snake from the speakers and wash over her. However, the pampering passed quickly, and it was now back to the real world.

They trooped upstairs to Nikki's bedroom, their shopping bags in tow.

Amber dumped her bag out onto Nikki's bed, selecting a pair of shoes to try on.

Nikki switched on the radio to a top 40 station and flopped out on her aqua (to match the paint she and Cam had splattered on the walls the summer before) beanbag chain.

She began to absently sing along with the song that was playing, watching Amber as she shoved her feet into a dainty pair of sandals.

"What do you think?" Amber extended her long leg, twisting her foot in different angles.

"Cute." Nikki grinned as her friend began to shimmy to the music coming from the speakers. Amber twirled around, coming toward Nikki with her hand held out.

Nikki rolled her eyes, but was smiling, she allowed Amber to pull her up from her position in the beanbag.

She was forced to give in when their favorite song came on.

After minutes of, as Amber referred to it, "white girls trying to booty dance" to SexyBack they collapsed on the floor in giggles.

They laid on the floor, sprawled out, limbs overlapping, listening to a slow song by The Fray, trying to catch their breath.

"So, what's the deal with you and Cam?" Amber asked, turning on her side to stare at Nikki.

Nikki laid on her back, peering up at the ceiling. "What d'you mean?"

"Well, you know," Amber shrugged a little. "How are things?"

"Cameron is great. Really." Nikki could feel a smile making its way onto her face.

"Yeah. Cute, Smart, Funny, He's a genuinely good guy." Amber admitted.

Nikki tore her eyes away from the ceiling.

"Amb, is there something I should know?" she arched one eyebrow in question.

Amber let out an easy laugh, shoving Nikki's shoulder a little bit. "Of course not. Cameron's great. We had our thing. Besides, I like guys who are a little bit more...rough around the edges."

It was Nikki's turn to laugh. "You rebel."

"When do you think you guys are going to go your separate ways?"

"Huh?" Nikki turned onto her side, facing Amber.

"Well, come on. We're starting high school. The absolute craziest part of our lives."

"And?"

Amber pushed a strand of hair from her face.

"I don't want to be the one to say it, but in the next four years you want to explore, test the water a little bit."

Nikki was silent. There was an ugly truth in Amber's words.

Amber nudged Nikki. "I'm not saying you should break up, or that you're going to, but.."

"I know what you're saying." Nikki nodded sadly. "It's 'puppy love'."_ But it's not_, she thought to herself. _For me, it is so much more_.

"Well," Amber shrugged yet again. "You never know, I guess."

Nikki shifted back to staring at the ceiling.

"It's not like that. Or at least, I hope it's not."

"Like, seriously?" Amber asked, ever so articulately.

"Mmhmm. Amber, I think-- actually, I know--that I love him."

Amber breathed in deeply. "Then I guess you'll just have to follow that then, no matter what I say, or anyone else. In fact, forget I said anything."

Nikki smiled slightly. "Thanks." she gave Amber's hand a quick squeeze.

"Does all the family stuff scare you, though? I mean, last time I saw him, he seemed so...upset. He's never like that. I don't know if I would know what to say. What to do."

Amber didn't know everything about the drinking, and it wasn't Nikki's place to tell her. She shrugged. "It's a little, overwhelming, I guess. I'm just trying to be there, when he needs me to be. I hope that's enough."

"It should be. Not to mention that Cam is also totally crazy about you, you know." Amber said earnestly.

Nikki peered at her friend, "Really?" she searched Amber's eyes for a hint of laughter, or playfulness. There was none. Of course Cameron liked her, she knew that, but she got a tiny thrill from hearing Amber confirm it for her.

Amber nodded. "With me? It was just kind of like, first person of the opposite sex who even likes you, that kind of thing. With Jordan? That was a joke. I doubt he even liked her. She looks like a dog, anyway. With you. Nik, you should see the way he looks at you."

Nikki didn't say anything. Amber continued.

"And when you are ever absent from school, he gets all worried, and asks me if I think you are okay and then--"

"He sneaks into the bathroom and calls me on his cell phone." Nikki finished.

"And," Amber added. "Whenever your name is mentioned, his face like, lights up. So does yours. But for his name."

Nikki couldn't help but blush. Was she that obvious?

"So, it's official. You two are freakishly, adorably, almost sickeningly, perfect for each other." Amber concluded.

Nikki let out a nervous laugh, sitting up.

"So, Just promise me one thing." Amber said, sitting up also.

"What?"

"If you two get married, I'm the maid of honor. And the first born girl is named Amber."

Nikki couldn't help but laugh.

"Y'know, Amb, doesn't matter who I marry, 'cause you'll be the maid of honor regardless." Nikki said honestly.

"True." Amber grinned from ear to ear, giving Nikki a small hug.

Nikki hugged back. They pulled away after a moment.

"You're a good kid, Nikki Westerly." she commented. "Cameron Bale is one lucky guy."

Nikki laughed. "Same to you."

The sat together in a content silence for a moment. Amber's earlier statement ringing in her head. _Cam is also totally crazy about you, you know._

_And I am crazy for him, too, s_he thought to herself. Everytime she thought that, her heart beat sped up to a rapid pace. It was exciting, but scary, to know that she loved him.

Amber jumped up suddenly, when the first beats of a Black Eyed Peas song exploded into the room. She began to dance in a crazy fashion, ending their serious discussion, Nikki doubled over in laughter before joining her.

A vibration in Nikki's pocket interrupted her dancing, she reached over to turn down the radio.

The screen on her phone identified the caller as Cameron.

She let out a small, involuntary shriek. "Oh my god! Finally!"

"Breathe, Nikki, breathe!" Amber instructed, smirking. "So much for a Cam-free day. Discussing your future wedding plans, screaming when he calls--"

"Shhh!" Nikki shushed her, giving her friend a pointed look. The chiming of Nikki's cell phone ended when she flipped open her phone.

"H-hey, Cam, what's up?"

* * *

**Author's**** Note:  
**

**Hey lovely people! **

**I should have been doing homework all night, but, why do homework when I can make the most wonderful people in the world happy? So that's what I did tonight. Write. Oh, and I tried to trim my side bangs cause they were getting shaggy and I'm afraid to see how it turned out. Curse you, afro...oops..I mean, curly hair! Anyway, I would've updated the story sooner, but we had some weird firewall defect where I couldn't access my email, where I keep my chapters. This chapter was ****cr_az_yfun to write. Amber rocks.**

**I want to thank my reviewers. You guys are like the peanut butter to my jelly. But personally, I think PB&J is rather nasty. But, still! I know. You're the Cam to my Nikki, the ham to my cheese! The-- okay I'm gonna stop.**

**Anyway, Ciao. **

**Love, **

**Chris Grace**


	7. Chapter 6

**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Six**

"Come on, Amber." Nikki begged, glancing at her digital alarm clock for what seemed like the thousandth time in the past few minutes. "We were supposed to meet Cam ten minutes ago."

She was seated on her bed in her tiny attic bedroom, watching wearily as Amber changed shoes once again.

Cameron and Nikki had talked on the phone for a half hour the night before. Nikki had left her room to talk to Cameron outside on the swing, for some semblance of privacy. He had sounded really excited, telling her about how he and his mom finally talked. He didn't fill her in on all of the details, saying he'd rather tell her in person. Nikki was overjoyed for him. She, in turn, told him of her fun day with Amber. He listened, throwing in a playful comment occasionally about how boring it sounded. After more banter, they made plans to meet at Two Brothers and then said goodnight.

"Okay. Now we're fifteen minutes late."

Amber ignored Nikki's protests, rotating her leg to admire her sandals . "See, these look really good with what I'm wearing. But I have to go to work in, like, an hour and I don't want to be uncomfortable walking around Tiki Squeeze, wiping up spilled milkshake all freaking day."

"Then wear comfortable shoes." Nikki said, exasperated. "Plus, you'll be wearing your work uniform so they won't match anyway."

"Oh." A light bulb suddenly appeared to come on in Amber's head. She kicked off her new sandals and slipped into her flip-flops. She looked at the abandoned shoes sadly. "But, they're so pretty."

"Come on already, Amber. Let's go."

* * *

Cameron was already there, sitting at an elevated table in the corner of the patio. Even from far away he looked slightly irritated, glancing at his watch every few seconds. Nikki felt her stomach tie into knots at the sight of his perfectly tousled hair and blue polo shirt.

"Cam!" Amber called his name as they approached. His head snapped up, searching the crowd, his eyes landed on them. He stood up from the table, approaching the two girls.

"Hey," He gave Amber a friendly hug, before turning to Nikki and planting a small kiss on her cheek. Nikki blushed. "What took you so long?" Cameron asked, raising an eyebrow.

Nikki poked Amber. "Ask her."

"You are just so impatient." Amber scoffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Let's go order." she wound her way through the crowd to the counter, Nikki and Cameron close behind.

Cameron caught up with Nikki, winding his fingers through hers. He smiled down at her. "Hey." he said quietly. Once again, her insides knotted when he flashed her his charming grin.

* * *

"Okay, well, I'm off." Amber slid from her chair, taking one last sip of her smoothie before throwing it in nearby trash can. She'd spent the past hour laughing and talking with Cameron and Nikki, and now she had to go to work.

"I have to leave, I can't be late again or Dominic threatened to put be on mop duty. Ugh, I can't believe I have to face him alone now, Cam." she complained, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Hey, I didn't ask to be fired." Cameron said defensively.

"Who's Dominic?" Nikki asked, glancing from Amber to Cameron in question.

"The manager. He's a nightmare." Cameron said with a knowing grin. Amber groaned. "He's on some power trip just because he's in charge, and he's infuriated if he can't see his reflection in the counter after you wipe it down." She paused, "Not that he should _want_ to admire his unobrow and unwashed mullet."

Nikki and Cameron laughed. Cameron smiled, "I'm just," he paused for affect. "_So_, glad I'm not you."

"Funny, funny…." Amber pretended to laugh. "Screw you, Cameron."

She turned to Nikki, "I'll stop by later and grab my stuff. See you later!" She waved over her shoulder before disappearing into the crowd.

"So," Nikki said, once Amber was gone. "An evil boss, huh? Still miss your job?" she asked him playfully, smirking slightly.

Cameron shrugged, "Nah, I can always get another. Tiki Squeeze isn't really a promising career."

Nikki laughed lightly. "Now," She paused, locking eyes with Cameron. "Tell me about your mom."

Cameron took a deep breath, looking down at his hands on the table. He smiled up at Nikki, his pretty eyes peeking through his bangs. "We talked a lot," He let out a deep breath. "It was good. She's a lot…cooler than I remember."

"It's the first time we've really talked since their split." he admitted, running his hand through his already messy hair.

"What did you guys talk about?" Nikki asked, genuinely interested.

"Everything." He said simply. "The divorce, school, her work, my dad." He stopped short. "It was good." He said finally.

Nikki nodded, biting her lip, "She wasn't too hard on herself, then?"

Cameron shook his head, "I wouldn't say that, I spent almost an hour trying to convince her she wasn't at fault, of course, she wouldn't hear it. She went on and on about how she should have seen the signs, paid closer attention, been a better parent. All that. Lots of tears."

"How did you finally convince her to stop blaming herself?"

"Well, I said that if she did know about Dad drinking and-- you know, well, I mean what could she do? Fight for full custody? And if she won, Dad would just keep drinking and drinking and eventually die or kill someone else accident while driving. So it's better that he's getting help now, without a huge court battle." Cameron took a breath, having said everything in a rush. "Does that make sense to you?"

Nikki nodded, "Yeah that makes sense. She knows now, so that's all that matters, really. I mean he's getting help now."

Cameron looked hopeful, "Right, rehab is the best place for him."

They sat in silence for a few moments, Nikki stirring her milkshake thoughtfully, and Cameron examining the text on a paper napkin.

"Cam," Nikki said suddenly, looking up. "What I don't understand is how it all came on so fast, I know the divorce was stressful but, it's kind of random, the rest of it, you know? He never hit you before. Last summer, you were fine." She worded the question carefully, hoping the point came across clearly.

Cameron sighed. "It wasn't really okay, even then. It hasn't been for a long time, it was just controllable. It has gotten to the point where he can't lie to himself anymore. And I can't lie to myself, either." He paused. "As it turns out my dad wasn't being completely honest about everything. I just didn't know. He's just lead me to believe my mom was the only one with the problem before, but she told me that my dad was a heavy drinker back when they first met, and that he always got really angry and kind of...violent."

Nikki looked alarmed. "Did he hit her?"

Cam shook his head, "No, but before she would marry him she told him he had to get control of his drinking and his temper."

"So, she saw the potential in his temper to become physical." Nikki concluded. She felt slightly uncomfortable at the turn the conversation was taking. This was heavy stuff to discuss over a smoothie.

"Yeah, well, they both didn't touch alcohol for years, even socially. Then I guess it started up, casually." He locked eyes with her, "Then it became a problem for my mom. They were having a tough time, my dad was flaking out on the law firm, and my mom had to pick up a lot of extra hours at the hospital."

Nikki nodded, silently urging him to continue.

"So after years of pretending everything was fine, they got divorced, and then..you know the rest."

"Excuse me." A voice interrupted. Nikki and Cameron snapped out of their intense conversation. A pretty brunette that appeared to be Bradin's age stood hovering over them. "I've got some people waiting on a table, so if you're done." She eyed their cups, apparently irritated that they were still hanging around after ordering over an hour ago.

Nikki bit back the rude remark about being paying costumers, but then decided against it. She was somewhat relieved for the break in her serious conversation with Cam, so instead of being unpleasant, she stood up quickly. "Oh, of course." she shot a look at Cam. "We were just leaving, right?"

Cameron looked confused at Nikki's compliance with the huffy waitress. "Uh, right." he grabbed his almost empty drink and stood up quickly. "Let's go."

They brushed past the waitress, who just glared sourly at them.

The pair threw their cups into the trashcan. "Since when was it forbidden to hang around on the patio?" Nikki asked, annoyed.

Cameron shrugged, "It's not a big deal, my shake tasted funny, anyway." They started down the sidewalk of the plaza.

Nikki raised an eyebrow, "So that girl either poisoned them or you're just a snob because you're so used to making them yourself." Nikki mused in a teasing tone.

"I'm probably just a snob." Cameron said, laughing. "Hey, let's go to the beach."

"That sounds good." Nikki said, they changed the direction they were walking and headed toward the beach.

"Have you started the summer reading yet?" Nikki asked him, knowing she sounded completely nerdy. Oh well, it was good to switch topics to something lighter.

"Nikki, we just got our lists, of course I haven't, I don't even remember what we're supposed to read."

"We're reading Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas and Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. They're both good." She told him. "Of course, I already read Jane Eyre, I loved that book. I just started Count of Monte Cristo, it's really cool so far! I bet you'll like it, it's kind of a boy book, I guess..." she trailed off, looking over at Cameron. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Seriously, Cam, what?" Nikki pushed, nudging him slightly as they walked side by side. Cameron was still smiling, "It's just, I don't know. You never cease to amaze me, Westerly." he said, "How you find time to be a good niece, hang out with your friends, get stuck listening to me drabble on about my problems all day and still find time to start your summer reading, that's all."

"Oh, come on, Cam." Nikki groaned, "Talking with you isn't some huge burden." She nudged him playfully again as they crossed a street to the boardwalk by the beach, laughing. "And you know I get mad when you don't talk to me."

"Okay, that's true." Cam was smiling again. "But you're still pretty amazing, Nik."

"You feed me cheesy lines, Bale." Nikki countered.

"Good thing you're not lactose intolerant." He shot back.

"Okay, that was really _really _cheesy." Nikki said, laughing. They got to the beach. She slipped out of flip-flops and held them in her hands, Cameron did the same.

As he stood on one foot to take off his shoe, he grinned sheepishly. "You know you love my jokes."

Nikki took the split second opportunity of him one one foot to shove him playfully. He lost his balance, falling backwards onto his butt.

Nikki doubled over at the shocked look on Cameron's face as he fell.

"Oh. My. God." She said between laughs, she collapsed beside him, holding her stomach she was laughing so hard.

"What was that for?" Cameron asked, shocked.

Nikki didn't reply, she was in hysterics. "You." She laughed some more, not noticing the looks that people were giving them, seated in the sand. A boy looking shocked, a girl laughing to the point of tears, extremely far away from the shoreline. Nikki attempted to speak again. "Your face...it was so--_funny_." She managed to get her laughter under control.

"You are evil." Cameron said seriously, but joining in when it just caused Nikki to laugh more.

Cameron finally stood up, holding out a hand for Nikki despite the fact that she had just knocked him on his ass in front of dozens of people passing by.

She took it, still smiling. "I couldn't resist it, Cam." He pulled her up, she bit her lip to keep from smiling. "It was perfect." Cameron rolled his eyes, retrieving his shoes (the items that had started his public humiliation) from the sand.

He slung his arm around her shoulders good-naturedly, squeezing her slightly. She wrapped an arm around his waist.

"Whatever, Nik." he said breezily, "I guess I just have to accept the fact that no matter what, you'll just mess with me."

"Guess so." she said, she reached up and kissed him on the cheek.

"The sweetness won't work, Nik." he said firmly. "Because...I'm going to get you back."

"I'd like to see you try." She said sweetly.

"Oh, I will, Westerly, you just wait and see." Cameron threatened.

They neared the water in their bare feet. Nikki wondered vaguely as his arm encircled her, how they could discuss something so serious like Cameron's parents' struggle with alcohol one minute, and then be joking so lightheartedly the next.

Was that what being in love was? Being able to talk about everything, everything fun and sweet and deep and hard, but then still find the moments where nothing mattered? Nothing mattered except for you, and the person you loved, being together?

They walked in a comfortable silence, ankle deep in the surf, as Nikki pondered this new revelation. She was having a lot of these the past few days, it seemed. The issues with Cameron's dad seemed to be just making them closer. Well, that was the only good thing out of it. She hated seeing him hurt. They continued to walk in the shallow surf.

"Hey," Cameron said suddenly, "My mom wanted me to invite you over for dinner at our house tonight."

"Oh," Nikki was surprised but pleased. "Sure, that sounds great. I just have to call Aunt Ava."

"Okay, great." He sounded happy. "Do you have your phone? Or do you need mine?"

"I don't have mine with me." Cameron dropped his arm from around her waist and dug in his pocket. He retrieved his silver flip phone. Nikki took it from him, flipping it open and scrolling through the address book until she found 'NIKKI- HOME' and hit the call button.

It rang a few times before someone answered. "Hello?" Derrick said, picking up.

"Hey, it's Nikki, is Aunt Ava there?"

"No. She's out, but Johnny's here."

"Okay, give him the phone." she said, waiting patiently as Derrick called for Johnny. She heard some rustling before a deep voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Johnny, can I go over to dinner at Cam's mom's house tonight?" she asked, glancing at Cameron as she waited for a reply, he looked pleased.

"Oh, sure. Will you need a ride home later? It'll be dark." Johnny answered.

"Yeah, that sounds good." Nikki said, smiling, she gave Cam a thumbs up sign. He grinned back.

"You know, Susannah's cooking tonight, you sure you won't be sad to miss her surprise quiche?" Johnny asked playfully. It was common knowledge that Susannah couldn't cook to save her life. In fact, it wasn't uncommon for most of the inhabitants of the beach house to find themselves making plans to specifically avoid the house on the nights she cooked.

Nikki laughed, "I think I'll survive."

"Lucky you. Well, okay, have fun tonight." Johnny said.

"I will." Nikki replied.

"Be good." Johnny said in stern, fatherly voice.

Nikki let out a laugh, "'Bye." She hung up. "He said yes, and luckily I get to escape Susannah's quiche." She handed him his phone back.

Cameron nodded in understanding. "You should get a dog that you can secretly feed Susannah's creations to when she isn't looking. That stuff is nasty." Considering the amount of time they spent together, Cam had endured her concoctions more than once.

Nikki laughed. "No one has the heart to tell her it's so gross." He slipped his hand into hers, causing a slight blush to creep up onto her cheeks.

"Shouldn't you call your mom to tell her I'm coming?"

"Oh, yeah." Cameron flipped open his phone to call his mom.

Nikki zoned out as he called his mom. Her excitement suddenly became worry. What if his mom hated her? Or if dinner was awkwardly silent? What if she was mad that her family had butted into her family's business?

Worry suddenly consumed her. She wondered if she she could take back her acceptance.

"Dinner's on." Cameron informed her, smiling. He squeezed her hand sweetly.

Nikki's stomach churned.

What had she just gotten herself into?!

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**Oh. My. God. I honestly can't believe I haven't updated in so long. I'm sorry! Kill me! Tonight, I just sat down and said, "I have to finish this!" Maybe it was the five diet cokes, a really really good sandwich and the various bands I listened to while finishing this that motivated me. So thank whoever created Diet Coke, whoever made that sandwich from the deli at Kroger, and Crime Mobb, The Beatles, The Postal Service and Coldplay. OH! And the fact that it's spring break. I officially finished this chapter at 3:56 AM Central Time. Ha.  
**

**Anyway, this is a celebratory chapter. In a matter of hours my dad will be returning home from his year-long tour of duty in Afghanistan. Alive and unharmed. I know some families aren't so lucky, so I'm really happy & thankful.**

**Of course, due to staying up and writing this, I will be asleep probably when he gets home, snoring away in a deep slumber.**

**Anyway, I love and appreciate you guys!**

**Please leave me a review. :)  
**

** Love,**

**Chris Grace**


	8. Chapter 7

**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Seven**

Nikki and Cameron spent the next hour walking on the beach. Cameron seemed relaxed and unworried. Nikki, however, was worrying enough for the both of them. She tried to stay focused on her conversation with Cameron, but her mind kept wandering to tonight's dinner. Around five o'clock they started heading toward his mother's house. Playa Linda wasn't a big town by any means, but his mom's house was a pretty good distance north on foot. Cameron had spent the entire afternoon schooling her on Classic Rock, emphasizing how important it was to appreciate the masters.

They turned onto Parkside Avenue, a street aptly named for its close proximity to Playa Linda Park. Cameron stopped talking about the merits of Pink Floyd for a second, "The house is down at the end of this street," He said conversationally, "See, the walks not too long, if you've got good company." He grinned and Nikki returned it half-heartedly. Her stomach gave a nervous twist.

She couldn't help but feel apprehensive. Going to dinner at Cameron's house with his mom wasn't a big deal. Just a completely normal way to get to know each other, right? Nikki kept telling herself over and over that it was going to be fine, but she sincerely hoped it wasn't going to be awkward or weird. All the issues with Cameron and his dad made the affair a lot less…relaxed.

Cameron nodded toward a small stone gray brick house with a large porch. "That's it." he said cheerfully.

Nikki felt her heart give an involuntary squeeze.

They turned up a small tile walkway. It was a cute house, Nikki thought. It seemed pretty homey. There were pink flowering bushes in the flowerbeds, and some hanging ferns on the porch. Cameron rummaged in his jeans pocket for his house keys. He slid a small gold key into the lock and let them in.

The house smelled like Lysol and fresh sheets. A large improvement over the aroma of stale alcohol at his dad's house. "Home sweet home." Cameron announced, "Or…other home." He smiled sheepishly. He dropped his house keys on the small glass table in the foyer. Nikki glanced around into a spacious living room.

"It's nice." she said, more to herself than to him. The house was small, but was tidy and clean.

Cameron walked down the hallway, Nikki followed him. He stepped into a wide doorway to the left. It was a large kitchen with an eat-in area and a bay window. The walls were painted a light green which gave the entire room a cheery feeling to it. His mom stood at the stove, stirring something in a pan. A light, savory aroma filled the room. Nikki's stomach grumbled, realizing she hadn't eaten since the milkshake at Two Brothers.

"What's on the menu for tonight?" Cameron asked casually, peering over his mom's shoulder. Nikki stood off to the side a little bit, unsure of what to do. Mrs. Bale turned from the stove, smiling at both of them. "Vegetable Penne, Salad and Garlic Bread." Cameron shot Nikki a significant look, as if it was some kind of conspiracy. "You know, she's not a vegetarian, but she got into this bad habit of cooking vegetables when I was a kid just to torture me, and it stuck."

"Don't believe a word he says, Nikki. He loves my vegetables." Mrs. Bale insisted.

Cameron grinned. "Maybe now, since I was force fed them for a decade." Nikki laughed, the tension easing off her somewhat.

Her gaze shifted to Mrs. Bale. "Don't worry, I wouldn't trust Cameron's opinion anyway." She was grinning inwardly, knowing the comment would mess with his head a little.

Mrs. Bale caught on, smiling appreciatively. "Smart girl." she glanced at Cameron. "I don't really trust him either." she turned back to the stove. He gave Nikki a weird look and she suppressed her smile. Cameron seemed to contemplate her for a minute, he then finally stuck out his tongue in a childish manor. A grin broke out across her face, and she decided to continue the immaturity and crossed her eyes at him.

"Cameron, set the table, please." Mrs. Bale requested, breaking up their kid moment. Cameron obliged, but Nikki heard him mutter about being 'trustworthy enough to handle the plates' or something of that nature.

She cleared her throat. "Is there anything I can help with?" she asked his mom, hoping to make use of herself. Mrs. Bale turned to face her again, smiling brightly. "Oh, you're too sweet, you can cut the tomato for the salad." she pointed to a shining red tomato on a chopping block on the opposite counter, a pristine knife sitting beside it, waiting to be used.

"No problem," she hurried over and began to carefully chop it, adding the tomato to the freshly washed lettuce already in a bowl. In ten minutes, the table was set and the food ready on the table.

Mrs. Bale took a seat at the head of the table, and Cameron and Nikki took seats on either side. They passed around the food and were soon all served.

"So, what did you two do today?" Mrs. Bale asked, pouring dressing on her salad. Cameron answered her, his mouth full of garlic bread. "Well, we went to Two Brothers.." He trailed off, his mother was giving him a death glare.

"Cameron, you were not raised by wolves. Don't talk with your mouth full, please."

Nikki couldn't help but smile, and then finished for him. "We went to Two Brothers with Amber and but she had to leave so we went to the beach and walked around the promenade for awhile."

"That sounds like fun." Mrs. Bale commented. "Amber's the blonde girl, right?"

Cameron nodded. "Yeah."

"Didn't you two used to date?" she asked him.

He shifted uncomfortably, not making eye contact with Nikki. "Briefly."

"She's a little demanding though, if I remember correctly, always making you do stuff for her.." Mrs. Bale commented absently.

Nikki laughed. "That sounds like Amber."

Conversation flowed easily from there, and Nikki was glad to find that Mrs. Bale was a nice lady with a good sense of humor. She started to unwind and enjoy herself. Mrs. Bale began asking questions about herself, none too prying, about what she liked to do and what not. Nikki answered readily, not minding at all.

"So, Nikki, Cameron told me you're from Kansas. Are you from Topeka?" She questioned."I've got a cousin who lives there."

Nikki shook her head, finishing the bite of her food. "No, I'm from Hogarth County. It's about an hour and and half from Topeka. It's pretty rural."

"I think I've heard of it. So, what brought your family to California?" she asked conversationally, stabbing a bite of salad with her fork.

Cameron made a noise in his throat. His mother looked at him, confused. Nikki looked up just in time to witness Cameron shaking his head at his mom. She returned the look with one of bewilderment, glancing at Nikki, a bite of salad extended in mid-air.

Nikki put down her fork. "No, it's okay, Cam." She looked at his mom. "My parents died a little over a year ago so my brothers and I moved out here to live with my aunt."

His mom looked shocked, immediately her voice became soft and compassionate, her eyes full of sympathy. "Oh, I'm so sorry. That's terrible." A long pause followed. Nikki felt a familiar pain in her chest at the mention of her parents. It was pain that she doubted would ever lessen or go away.

A pause followed, and just the sound of silverware on the plates was heard. Cameron quickly changed the subject, "Nikki is the one I was doing the literary magazine with at school."

Nikki gave him a grateful look, and readily picked up on the subject. "Oh, yeah! The magazine..."

The rest of dinner went smoothly, they were done eating and Mrs. Bale was in the middle of telling Nikki a funny story about Cameron on a soccer team as a kid, when the phone rang.

"I'll get it." Cameron announced and sprang up from his chair, hurrying over to the cordless phone anchored on the wall. "Hello?" he answered. A pause. "Oh, hey, yeah, we're just finishing up dinner. Yeah, she's right here, hold on a sec." He gave the phone to his mom. "It's Candace."

"Oh, hey, Candace, hold on a minute." Mrs. Bale smiled at Nikki and Cameron, "You two go ahead and I'll clear the dishes, there are popsicles in the freezer if you're interested."

Cameron raised his eyebrows. "You sure, Mom? We can help clear the table if you want..."

Mrs. Bale shook her head. "No, no, it's fine, you two go ahead." she waved them off, returning to her phone conversation. "Yeah, I'm still here, Candace." They left the kitchen, leaving his mom to her phone call.

"I'm sorry." Cameron said quietly, once they were out of earshot from his mom. Nikki looked puzzled, "Sorry? For what...?" She shot him a side long glance as they walked to the living room.

Cameron looked uncomfortable. "You know--for her mentioning your parents and asking so many questions."

Nikki shook her head. "Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal."

Cameron still seemed uncertain. "I didn't realize that I hadn't told her about them, I guess. So I felt bad when she kept pushing."

"Hey, seriously, it's okay. It was bound to come up, anyway, she was just trying to get to know me. Don't worry about it."

"You sure?" Cameron asked, concerned. Nikki nodded. "It's fine, really." She took a seat on the couch, but Cameron didn't sit down beside her.

"Hey, Nik, turn it on whatever you want, I'll be back in a sec." Cameron told her.

Nikki nodded, "Okay." She turned on the television, which was muted. She tried to turn the volume on, but it wasn't working. She sat there trying to fix it and stopped when she heard Cameron's mom's voice in the kitchen as she talked on the telephone. Nikki listened, feeling slightly guilty.

"Candace, you should see Cameron and his girlfriend, they are too cute..." she heard Mrs. Bale say. Nikki's heart sped up, and she kept listening intently. "All he's done since he got here is tell me about her." Nikki couldn't suppress the smile on her face.

"Yeah, well, Kyle has some kind of family therapy at Santa Palma that Cameron is supposed to come to. I haven't told him yet." There was a pause. "Well, I'm sure he won't want to go, but the lady who called said that it was part of the recovery program..." Nikki didn't hear what she said next, because Cameron returned to the living room.

"I can't get the volume to work," Nikki said dumbly, hoping he didn't think she was intentionally listening to his mom's phone call.

Cameron didn't seem phased, "Oh, well, that's 'cause you have to use this one," he snatched up a different remote off the table. He sat down beside Nikki on the couch, turning up the volume.

"Hey, you want a Popsicle?" Cameron offered.

"Sure." He got up and left the room again, and Nikki glanced a photo album on the under part of the coffee table, sitting next to a neat stack of magazines. She pulled it out, resting it on her lap.

"I got cherry and orange, you pick--" Cameron reentered the room, he stopped short, glimpsing the album on her lap. He raised his eyebrows, a serious look on his face. "Snooping through our stuff?"

Nikki's face grew hot. "I mean, no, I was just--" she closed the album quickly, as if it would make her innocent. She looked up and Cameron guiltily, feeling his eyes burning her.

Suddenly he cracked a smile, and then laughed. "Relax, Nik. I'm just messing with you." Nikki let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

He rejoined her on the couch, slinging an arm around her. "Remember earlier? Told ya I'd get you back." He grinned charmingly, offering her a Popsicle. "Truce?"

Nikki accepted the peace offering. "You jerk." she managed lamely, ripping open the plastic.

Cameron just laughed, shifting a little bit closer to her. Nikki couldn't help but smile to herself. He opened up the album, pulling it halfway into his lap. "Let's see what we got here..."

The first picture was a baby with familiar, wide blue eyes and and a tuft of golden hair staring with bright interest. "Oh my god!" Nikki exclaimed. "You were so adorable!" Cameron laughed.

The next photograph was his mom, a lot younger than she looked now, holding infant Cameron, smiling brightly at the camera. Another showed Cameron, his mom and his dad, sitting on a couch, Kyle and Rachel were smiling at each other over baby Cameron, seemingly the happiest people in the world. Nikki herself felt sad over it, and she could only wonder how Cameron felt about it.

The next five or so pages were dedicated to Cameron's baby years. His first Christmas, his first Easter, his first birthday, at which he received a fuzzy brown bear that he clung to in every picture.

"God, I still have that thing." Cam told her, bemused. "I slept with it every night 'til I was like nine, but then my cousins started giving me a hard time about it. I was crushed."

Nikki laughed. "Aw, poor baby." She turned the page. A picture of Cameron, beginning to walk on his own, still gripping the bear. His mom had scrawled the date underneath it.

They kept flipping through the album, Cameron commentated, telling her the stories behind the pictures. Nikki felt sad for him when she saw the pictures of him and his dad. There was a picture of them fishing at the pier, them at the beach, playing catch, on bikes.

He seemed to falter in his stories when he came to those, and Nikki could hear the sadness in his voice as he said things like, "We always used to do that." or, "That was a lot of fun."

Nikki kept her eyes trained on the photo album that rested partially in her lap. As Cameron recounted the story behind the picture of him dressed as a pirate she resisted the urge to ask him a question she had kept at bay since dinner had wrapped up. She kept her tone light and casual, "So," she fiddled with the leather edge of the album. "Do you think your mom likes me?"

"Of course she likes you," he said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, he looked at her skeptically. Nikki didn't say anything, but was pretty sure her expression gave her away. Cameron noticed the look, surprised. "You were actually afraid she wasn't going to?"

Nikki's embarrassment grew, "Well, yeah. I mean, it's different for me. I really want your mom to like me 'cause I've never really been around her before."

Cameron scrunched up his face, "How is it so different?"

"I mean, come on, Cam!" Nikki turned to face him. "You have to think, We spend so much time hanging out at my house, that you've pretty much become a fixture there, so Ava and Johnny know you and like you and stuff."

"Okay." Cameron gave in. "So maybe it's different, but don't worry, she liked you, I could tell." Cameron gave her a reassuring squeeze around the shoulders. "I promise." he added.

Nikki was smiling to herself again, something that seemed to happen a lot around Cameron. He closed the album, setting it back on the table, and keeping his arm around Nikki still, and began channel surfing. They watched TV for awhile, his arm around her the entire time. At some point in the middle of the show, Nikki wound her fingers around Cameron's that laid on her shoulder.

Cameron's cell phone rang. Nikki's heart sank, pretty sure who it was. Cameron removed his arm from her shoulders and dug in his pocket. He answered it. "Hello? Yeah, she's right here." Cameron handed Nikki the phone. "It's Johnny."

Nikki took the phone. "Hey Johnny." she said.

"Hey, kiddo, you having fun?" he asked.

"Yeah, everything's cool." Nikki answered.

"Are you ready to be picked up yet?" He asked.

"Um, hold on..." She moved the phone from her ear. "What time should I be picked up?" she asked him. They both simultaneously glanced at the clock. It was already nine o'clock. Time went so fast whenever they hung out.

"Thirty, forty-five minutes?" Cam suggested.

Nikki put the phone back up to her ear, "Hey, could you pick me up in like thirty or forty-five minutes?" A pause. "Okay, sure. I need directions." Nikki immediately handed the phone to Cameron. "Directions." she told him.

Cameron took the phone and gave Johnny directions to the house. He closed the phone, ending the call. "He said he'd be here in half an hour. But don't worry, I gave him the long way here." He laughed.

"Good thinking." Nikki said.

"I know, I'm great." he said in a joking manor. "Oh, I have that CD I borrowed from you. It's in my room." Cameron got up from the couch. "Follow me." He led her down the hall and past the kitchen, where another hall ran perpendicular. He opened a door, "My room is immaculate, like yours." he said sarcastically.

Nikki giggled, wandering in. It wasn't quite immaculate, but Nikki suspected it might have been messier if it weren't for his Mom. The room was slightly smaller than his room at his dad's house. His bed was messily made and his duffel bag was lying on the floor, open, clothes exploding out of it.

A tall chest of drawers was on one wall, and straight backed wooden chair in one corner, a pile of books atop it, and a desk that held a computer. The walls weren't quite as plastered with posters as in his other room, but Cameron seemed to have covered them a good amount.

"Is this the bear from the pictures?" Nikki asked nodding at a much more ragged, deflated bear lying on his chest of drawers.

Cameron nodded, "The one and only." he said, moving a pile of books off the chair.

"Nice." she said, not resisting the temptation to mess with him.

"Hey, don't diss Mr. Bear, okay?" He said seriously. "He's a lot cooler than Henrietta or whatever the hell your doll's name is..."

"Sophia." Nikki corrected.

"Same thing."

"Aw he's cute," Nikki said, lifting the bear off the chest of drawers. "Even if he's missing...both eyes." She set the deranged bear back on the chest of drawers. Cameron moved the chair over to the desk and sat down in the other chair.

"I still need to put the CD on my iTunes." He told her, moving the mouse to get off the screen saver, but Nikki wasn't paying much attention. Her eyes had landed on a single photograph propped up against the speaker. She grabbed it, to get a better look.

It was of them. Taken maybe a month or so before. They had been messing with Cameron's digital camera. They were on the swing at Nikki's house, sunkissed, hair still wet from just returning from the beach, both smiling brightly, but their gazes didn't quite reach the camera lens, instead they were smiling at each other.

Nikki looked up at Cameron. "How did you get a print of this?" she asked.

"Oh, that's a photo printer." He nodded toward the printer. He smiled at the picture in her hand fondly. "I really liked that one." he reached out to take it from her, his hand brushing hers deliberately but not bothering to pull away.

They made eye contact, his blue eyes were gleaming with that enigmatic sparkle of his.

Soon the were inching toward each other, closing the gap between them. Their lips meeting, soft and warm in a lingering kiss. They broke apart, both grinning goofily at each other, both still holding the picture. Cameron cleared his throat, averting his gaze from her, instead looking at the computer screen.

"I can print a copy for you, if you want..." Cameron suggested.

Nikki nodded, setting the picture back to its original place. "I'd like one."

Cameron pulled up his iTunes and imported the CD into his files. Then, following the trend of their conversation from earlier, Cameron played her his favorite Beatles songs. Only some of which Nikki had heard.

"Wait, Nik, so you're telling me you've never heard anything off The White Album??" Cameron questioned once more, he had already asked this a half a dozen times, shocked.

Nikki couldn't help but laugh at his persistence. "No, Cam, I haven't."

Cameron immediately sprang up from his chair. "You are so deprived. Okay, I'm going to lend you some CDs, and then you have to listen to them, and admit I'm right about everything music-related, okay?" He grinned at her over his shoulder before turning to scan his CD collection. "This one..and this one.."

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" Nikki asked, watching as Cameron selected CD after CD for her to borrow. Cameron shook his head.

"Nope, Nikki, I'm going to bring you out of listening to Fergie or what was it you said you liked at that party...?" he stopped short, pondering. He finally stopped choosing CDs, but was holding a pretty large sized stack already. He turned back to her, his grin exposing the gap in his two front teeth, as the music artist came to him, "Oh yeah, Chingy."

Nikki couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, I admit it, Cam. Maybe I need a _little_ bit of help in the music area. But I guess that's what you're for, right?" He set down the sizable stack on the edge of the desk and turned to face her. She looked at the stack and then raised an eyebrow.

"Exactly." He smiled sheepishly, glancing back at the stack. "How about I lend you one at a time and then maybe you'll actually listen to them."

Nikki nodded in agreement. "You're probably right."

Cameron bit his lip, "Then I have an excuse to see you every day then, right?"

Nikki's heart skipped a beat. "You don't need an excuse."

"I know." He replied with a grin.

Suddenly, his cell phone rang. He dug in his pocket to answer it.. "Hey...okay, yeah, I'll tell her. Alright, bye."

"Johnny's on his way, he'll be here in like two minutes."

Nikki got up from the computer chair.

"Hey, go ahead and take this copy," Cameron took the picture off the desk and handed it to her. "Oh, and this." He popped her CD out of the computer and put it back in the case. "AND this." He handed her a white double album. "You'll like that, I swear."

"Thanks." Nikki said, "I have to go thank your mom."

They left his room and went into the kitchen, where his mom was still on the phone, standing with their back facing them, loading the dishwasher.

"Their nightly conversation usually lasts hours," Cam whispered in her ear. Nikki couldn't help but giggle.

"Hey Mom, Nik's leaving."

Mrs. Bale turned. "Hold on, Candace." she smiled at Nikki. "Bye, Nikki. It was just so nice to get to know the young lady that has my son so tied up in knots." she said warmly and ignored the choking sound coming from Cameron.

Nikki laughed. "Dinner was delicious, Mrs. Bale, thank you for having me. It was great meeting you."

"You are welcome here anytime, dear, just stop by whenever." Mrs. Bale insisted.

"Oh, that's so—niii--" Cameron was already leading Nikki out of the kitchen by her arm, cutting off her last word. She glanced at him once they were in the living room, "All tied up in knots, huh?" she joked.

His face was red and he looked flustered. He shook his head, embarrassed by what his mom had said.

"Aw, Cam, don't be upset, it's sweet." Nikki insisted.

Cameron rolled his eyes, his face returning to a normal color. "My mom goes out of her way to embarrass me since she doesn't get to do it often."

"You should be glad for that." Nikki said sweetly. "And I enjoy watching your mom make you uncomfortable, it's entertaining, tonight's been fun."

"Yeah, it's pretty fun not knowing what my mom is going to say to humiliate me next." Cameron said sarcastically.

"But you know it's worth it," Nikki grinned up at him, trying to get him to smile. "For me."

Cameron gave in, cracking a small smile. "Okay, today's been fun." He glanced out the window as headlights illuminated the driveway. "And sadly, coming to an end."

"Your cell phone is going to ring in about 10 seconds." Nikki commented.

"But, oddly, I don't care," Cameron leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. Nikki felt extremely intent on staying like that for awhile, putting her free hand on his arm and returning his kiss eagerly despite that, his cell phone had, in fact, started to ring. They ignored it, until they broke a part a few moments later.

Again, Nikki felt that big smile on her face that could only be produced with Cameron present; he took her hand and led her out of the room. He walked her out to Johnny's waiting car.

She stood one hand on the handle of the door. "Thanks for dinner and everything, it was nice."

Cameron nodded, "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay." With one last smile in his direction, she climbed into Johnny's car.

Johnny waved at Cameron before backing out of the driveway. Nikki kept her eyes on him as he returned to his house.

"So, did you have fun?" Johnny asked as he drove.

Nikki nodded, "Yeah, tons. His mom is really nice."

"That's good," Johnny said, "Better than his father, I hope." He added in a grave voice. Nikki didn't really hear the last part, too content on staring out the window with a smile on her face.

"You know what, Johnny?" Nikki said abruptly, when they almost reached the house.

"What?"

"I seriously think I have the best boyfriend like, ever."

"Well, I'm glad to know you're happy, Nik." Johnny said, he glanced over at Nikki who was smiling to herself. Yes, she was very happy.

* * *

**Authors Note:**

**OMG. I know I'm terrible for not updating. But I will defend myself and say I've written this SO many times, and I'm finally happy enough with it. Also in my defense, I've had a whole bunch of stuff going on at home, and have been in a Harry Potter mode. Book 7 is kickass, I must say. Haha. Plus, I would've had this up awhile ago but no, my laptop cord had to go in break when I was in a writing mood! And then the one I got in the mail went and broke so I have to send it back and blah blah blah.**

**So, yeah. Then I realized one reason everything takes so long is because I haven't had an outline where I'm going with this story. SO I made myself sit down and basically outline where this story is going and everything, and if everything goes as planned, it'll have 20 chapters...I think?**

**It's been almost a year since I started this story. Wow. I've gotten such a good response and I just want to say thank you to everyone, and I hope you keep reading and I'm sorry I'm so slow.**

**I don't really have time for personal replies, so...**

**HUGE THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART TO:**

**Embry, Melissa, Hannah, .3, Jaydat, Jmacsgirl15, Kaeti & Stephanie & Jeremy & Mike & Rachel, Randomly SmuRfy, Eagleschick86, Corbin's My Man, Samantha, betherealways247, zanessatroyella4evr620, corinne, and tracy turnblad!**

**Tell me what you think and leave a review!**

**Love,**

**Chris Grace  
**


	9. Chapter 8

**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Eight  
**

Nikki awoke mid-morning the next day, roaming downstairs sleepily, she found Ava and Susannah hard at work in their show room. Ava was pouring over a sketchbook while Susannah was reading an extremely thick stack of papers that looked important.

"Good morning," Nikki greeted from the stairs, yawning, she wandered into the room.

Ava's head popped up. "Oh, morning, Nikki." she smiled brightly at her sleepy niece."How was your visit at Cameron's? I didn't get a chance to talk to you when you got back."

Nikki fingered a half-finished dress on the mannequin, "I had fun." she said with a smile.

"So, what was his mom like?" Susannah pestered, taking off her reading glasses and diverting her attention from the thick packet in front of her. As usual, she wanted the juicy details.

"She was actually really nice." Nikki told her. "I was kind of afraid she'd be like, scrutinizing and analyzing me to make sure I'm worthy of dating Cam." she made a face, remembering how terrified she'd been the day before.

Aunt Ava laughed. "So, no uncomfortable questions, then? she asked, looking up from her sketch.

"Well, she asked about my parents, but that was to be expected, I guess." Nikki shrugged, "Other than that it was smooth sailing."

"You're luckier than I was, Nikki." Susannah leaned forward on the desk, preparing for a story. "My first boyfriend's mom was a complete dragon lady. She'd pester me about my ambitions for my future every time she saw me. Of course, she always manged to slip in how she though fashion was impractical and far fetched, and then she'd suggest medicine or law." She screwed her face up, the idea of either career very unpleasant.

Nikki laughed, "Are you serious?" Susannah nodded.

"Yep, and the final straw was when she tried to give me this self-help book for planning my life."

"You must have loved that," Ava commented.

"Loved it so much, I broke it off with the guy immediately, even though he was pretty nice." Nikki grinned at Susannah.

"And she could've been your mother-in-law!" she teased.

Susannah shook her head, slipping her reading glasses back on. "Over my dead body." she muttered.

"Well, Nik, we've got a deadline to meet, so if you need anything, we'll be stuck up here." Ava glanced over at the paperwork Susannah was reading, obviously stressed out. "Try and stick close to home today, okay, sweetie?"

Nikki nodded. "Sure, no problem."

Ava was appreciative, "Thank you, dear." she returned hurriedly to her design.

Nikki went downstairs to the kitchen and fixed herself some cereal. She took a seat at the table, equip with the box of Lucky Charms for refills. She picked up an abandoned newspaper, flipping idly to the comic section. Her thoughts strayed absently to Garfield as she chomped on her cereal.

Nikki was thoroughly enjoying the peace and quiet when Bradin flopped down in the seat next to her. He stuck his hand into the cereal box and crammed a handful into his mouth.

"Where were you?" Nikki asked him, distracted by his poor table manners.

"Beach," he said rather vaguely. "With Erica." he added.

Nikki took a bite of cereal, arching an eyebrow. "Erica, huh?" She smirked at him.

Bradin threw a stray marshmallow at her."Yes, Erica, and speaking of other people's personal lives, how's Romeo these days?"

Nikki swallowed a mouthful of cereal, picking the marshmallow off her lap and flicking it to the floor "Cameron," she said his name rather pointedly, "is fine, doing good actually, he's at his mom's house."

Bradin nodded, reaching into the cereal box again. "The whole thing is sad," he commented. "Mom and Dad may be gone, but at least they were great parents while they were here."

Nikki nodded solemnly, turning this over in her mind. _Would it be better to have parents that constantly let you down, or no parents at all? _she wondered vaguely.

"His mom's nice..." she put it. Mrs. Bale deserved some credit, after all.

Bradin snorted. "Yeah, she better be. She has to be twice as good of a parent because his dad is such an asshole."

"Hopefully rehab is enough." Nikki said optimistically, refilling her cereal bowl.

"I hate to tell you, Nik, but rehab success rates aren't that great." Bradin told her, a grim look on his face when he said it.

"Don't be so negative, after everything that has happened, Kyle would be crazy not to completely sober up." she insisted.

"Yeah," Bradin leaned back in his chair. "But I think he's already proved to be a little bit crazy, hasn't he?"

"I really hope you're wrong." Nikki felt her good mood sinking to the pits just from the single conversation with Bradin, resident mood killer of the family.

"So do I." he said to his little sister, a sincere look on his face. A brief pause followed and Bradin once again attacked the cereal box. "So," Bradin started conversationally. "You and Cameron have been involved awhile." He narrowed his eyes at her. Nikki, in turn, narrowed her eyes back at him.

"So, what's it to you?"

Bradin seemed to think his meaning was apparent by the look her gave her. "You're my little sister, and he's...he's a _guy_."

"Great observation." she said dryly. "Your point?"

Bradin gave her another look, then burst out, "Cameron is a guy, Nikki, and guys think _differently_ than girls do." He stressed the word differently. Nikki rolled her eyes, and Bradin went on. "Maybe I should talk to him, you know, make sure--"

Nikki interrupted, "Stop projecting, Bradin. And if you say anything to Cameron about the male thought process and its relation to me, I swear I'll never speak to you again."

"Oh, some loss." Bradin said sarcastically. Nikki shot him eye daggers and started clearing her breakfast dishes.

"Seriously though, Bradin, Cam's got enough going on without you having some kind of weird talk with him." Nikki said from the kitchen.

"Okay, fine, I won't say anything to him." Bradin said, giving in. "Happy?" he glanced over his shoulder at Nikki.

She beamed at him. "Extremely."

She left Bradin at the table and went upstairs to take a long shower. She got dressed and brushed her wet hair back into a ponytail. Surveying her bedroom, she realized how messy it had gotten in the past week. She pulled out her laundry hamper from her closet and began stuffing it with dirty clothing. The room was considerably cleaner afterward.

Nikki glimpsed the CD Cameron had lent her lying on her desk. She couldn't help but smile to herself, and popped it into her stereo and turned up the volume. The first beats filled the room and for the next half hour Nikki cleaned her bedroom. Though quite small, her room seemed to scatter her possessions far and wide.

She returned her books to their rightful places on the shelf, hung clothing back in the closet on hangers, and took the bedding off her bed and stuffed it in the hamper. Nikki found herself thoroughly enjoying the CD Cameron lent her, and dancing to it as she cleaned up her room.

She was tidying her desk and found the picture Cameron had given her the day before. She just looked at it for a moment, wondering what she'd done to deserve such a good boyfriend. Setting the picture back down, she moved her desk chair over in front of the closet. She climbed on top of it, searching the top of her closet for something in particular.

Nikki pulled down a cardboard box marked with her name. She set it on the ground and sat down to look through it. Inside were some old possessions form Kansas that she never unpacked. It mostly considered of photographs, keepsakes, old journals, certificates and ribbons from school. Things she preferred to keep tucked away while in Playa Linda. Rummaging around inside the box, she found what she was looking for. An old picture frame that held a photograph of her and an old friend.

She felt guilty as she slid the picture out of the frame and dropped it back into the box. Quickly, she closed up the box and returned it to the top of the closet. As tempting as it would be to look through it all, she wasn't in the mood to get sentimental over old pictures that would upset her.

Nikki framed the picture of herself and Cameron and set it next to one of her and her parents. She gazed at both of the picture side by side.

Reaching out, she grazed the picture on the left with the tips of her fingers. She was sitting in between her parents on the porch steps of her old house, they were all smiling contently, unaware of the tragedy that would befall them in mere months. Her gaze shifted to the picture beside it. She felt a pang, that she would ever be able to introduce Cameron to her mother and father. That she would never tell her mother that she thought she was in love for the first time.

Nikki turned away quickly form the desk, fighting away the sadness that was ebbing at her. She picked up her stuffed hamper and trooped downstairs with it to the laundry room.

She started a load of laundry and then headed back up to her bedroom. It was now extremely tidy, only needing fresh sheets on the bed now. Nikki scanned her bookshelf and selected a book to read. Next she turned off the stereo and unplugged her cell phone from the charger and shoved it into her pocket.

She went back downstairs and found Derrick sitting on the couch in the living room watching television intently and munching on a bag of chips. He was clad in his signature beanie covering his messy hair. It dawned on her that she'd barely spoken to him this week, having been so wrapped up in everything concerning Cameron.

Nikki plopped down beside him on the couch. "Hey, Derrick." she greeted.

He looked away from the television momentarily. "Oh, hi Nikki." his attention went back to the television.

"What you been up to? I haven't talked to you in awhile." Nikki pestered, ignoring the fact that he was engrossed in the television.

Derrick shrugged. "Not much you know..skateboarding and stuff, basically..." he trailed off, and his show cut to commercial.

"Are you and Isobel's son friends now? What's his name again?"

"Danny. He's alright, he likes to skateboard too." Derrick told her. "He was going to come over today and we were going to go to the beach later. His house isn't near the beach so he doesn't go much."

"How can you live here and not go to the beach much?" Nikki asked, scrunching up her nose at the thought. The beach had become a constant for her ever since she had moved to southern California.

Derrick shrugged again. "I don't know." he looked at his watch. "He should be here soon...I better go and call him." Derrick got up from the couch, leaving Nikki on her own.

Throughout the remainder of the day Nikki spoke with Amber on the phone and told her all about dinner and meeting Cameron's mom (excluding the comment Mrs. Bale had made about Amber's demanding nature), did a few loads of laundry, put sheets on her bed, read, watched television, and pretty much came down from the Cameron-induced high she'd been on all week.

All day Susannah and Ava had barely came downstairs from the work room except for more coffee, but finally they both came into the living room where Nikki was reading, clearly exhausted from the nonstop work. Ava collapsed next to Nikki on the couch, and Susannah took a seat in a nearby armchair. Ava let out an exhausted breath, taking a look at the clock on the wall.

"It's six o'clock already?" Ava asked disbelievingly.

"Time really flies when your having fun, huh?" Nikki teased.

Ava gave her an exhausted smile, "More like working hard. And thanks to Susannah's brilliance we may just have a real space for AvaG."

Nikki looked over at Susannah, her eyebrows raised. "Really? Like, no more home business sort of thing?"

Susannah had a satisfied smile on her face. "Really. Spoke with the Realtor for over an hour, and finally got him down to a very affordable price and if all goes well, AvaG will have a new home right on Laurel Linda drive."

"Congratulations!" Nikki clapped her hands excitedly. "A real AvaG shop. That's so awesome and official."

"Well, Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, it's not exactly official yet." Ava said reasonably. Nikki brushed off her comment.

"But the key word is 'yet', right? You pretty much have it already?" Nikki glanced over at Susannah, who nodded, her large smile still intact.

"Let's just say I can be very persuasive."

Ava changed the subject, "So, is Derrick back yet?"

Nikki shook her head. "No, but I guess he'll be back soon. Probably with Danny, too."

"Well, I guess it's time to figure out dinner, we've still got a little bit to finish upstairs, so I guess we'll just order a couple of pizzas," Ava said.

"Sounds good to me." Nikki said with a noncommittal shrug. Ava stood up and stretched, "When Derrick gets home, tell him to come see me, okay, Nik?"

Nikki nodded. "Sure thing." Ava left the room and went back upstairs leaving Susannah and Nikki in the living room.

"So..." Susannah said, smiling mischievously. "No sign of Cameron today?"

Nikki shook her head. "Nah, I guess we've both just had the day to ourselves."

"It's rare when you two aren't attached at the hip." Susannah commented, smirking a little.

Nikki blushed, "Yeah, I guess so. It's weird having the day to myself."

"Ah, so you miss him?" Susannah asked.

Nikki nodded. "Pathetic, right? Just one day."

"Young, innocent love." Susannah teased. "And, girl, it better stay innocent." she added, giving Nikki a look.

Nikki rolled her eyes. "I know, I know." _What was with people today? First Bradin, now Susannah, like either of them has a leg to stand on when it comes to relationships.  
_

Susannah got out of her her chair, "Okay, I've got some more paperwork to read, so I'll leave you to your pining."

"Oh, thanks." Nikki said sarcastically, and once again she was left alone in the living room. Derrick came home about half an hour later, about the same time the pizza arrived. While they were eating pizza Jay came in, with a pretty brunette in tow, whom Jay introduced as Isobel. She stayed for dinner and then she and Danny left, taking Derrick with them for a sleepover. After eating, everyone scattered to go their separate ways.

She settled back in the empty living room with a book and made herself comfortable on the couch, allowing herself to be pulled into the Jane Austen novel she was reading.

After being engrossed in her book for so long, and so used to the silence of the living room, the buzzing of her cell phone on the coffee table startled Nikki somewhat. She closed the copy of_ Emma _she was reading and grabbed the vibrating silver object.

Her lips curved into a small smile at the name on the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Nik." said the voice on the other end.

"Hi, Cameron. What's up? She settled back into the couch comfortably, preparing herself for one of their long telephone conversations full of sweet verbal flirting from both parties.

"Not much," Cam replied. "I've been hanging at my mom's all day for the most part."

"I've been stuck here, too. Aunt Ava wanted me to stick close to home, so I just cleaned my room and I've been reading all day."

"Sounds enthralling." Cameron joked. Nikki laughed and they continued to chat. Yet, as their conversation progressed, she could tell from from his voice that he seemed a little down, distracted even.

Finally, after the dozenth time of him saying "Sorry, what?" and obviously not paying attention, she had to say something.

"Are you okay, Cam?" she asked gently, tucking her legs under her and shifting slightly on the couch. There was a pause and Cameron didn't answer right away.

Finally, she heard him take a deep breath and then he spoke. "Mom just told me that I'm supposed to go see my dad in a few days for a therapy session up in Santa Palma..."

The information didn't shock Nikki, as she had heard his mom on the phone the night before, what shocked her was that she had forgotten this very important piece of information in the first place.

"Do you not want to see him?" Nikki asked him, biting her lip.

"Honestly? Right now, no." his voice conveyed his hard determination on the subject. Nikki found it hard to contradict him.

"Maybe you won't have to go, though, maybe you can skip this one and go to the next one instead. Don't they alternate days and have different sessions or something?"

Cameron was silent, "Well, maybe..." he sounded cheered at the thought. "I just--_really_ don't want to go." there was a desperation in his voice that revealed the anxiety he was feeling. Nikki wished she were with him so she could've hugged him after he said this.

"I know, Cam." Nikki said softly, messing with the charm bracelet he'd given her. "Maybe if you tell your mom she won't make you go."

"Hopefully not." Cameron said. "I have to go, she's about to leave for her night shift at the hospital, so I'm going to try to catch her before she goes."

"Okay, I'll talk to you later, then." Nikki said. "Good luck."

There was a pause, as if Cameron wanted to say something else important. "Well, bye, thanks for listening." he said finally.

"No problem, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Nikki sad, adding the last part in somewhat hopefully.

"Yeah, of course, I'll call you, bye."

"Bye." She hung up the phone, feeling somewhat unsettled, feeling badly for Cameron that he would probably have to see his dad so soon after everything that had happened. She got up from the couch, stretching. Though somewhat troubled by what Cameron had told her, and by his anxious tone, she couldn't help but look forward to the next day, because even one day without Cam left her feeling unsettled.

* * *

**Authors Note:**

**Hi! Another chapter done! Yay! Much, much shorter update time than last time. This chapter may have been a little blah & short, but it's a transition, plus Nikki hadn't just been at home for awhile and we all need those days were we're social recluses and we don't put on makeup and we just sit around doing absolutely nothing. I also thought it was important to get some sibling and family interaction. MUCH more Cam/Nik in the next chapter. (Which is already started...) **

** Ohmigosh, I can't believe it's back in school. This is my second week and already my classes are CRAZY. It doesn't help that my Algebra II teacher is a sadist, either. **

**Anyway, did you guys watch HSM2? What'd ya think? I didn't know if I liked it as much as the first one...I didn't like some of the music. I think 'Bet On It' was way to over done and it had no flow to me. Zac just jumped around like a crazy person, and I was like, "Wtf?"**

** I want to say a huge, huge thanks to EVERYONE! Y'all are awesome, I bow down to you!**

** Leave me some love!**

**Love,**

**Chris Grace **


	10. Chapter 9

**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Nine**

A sleeping Nikki shifted in her bed, letting out a deep sigh as she buried her face in her pillow. The slight change in movement caused the covers to be pulled off her; the cold air from the air conditioner chilling her bare arms and legs. She shifted again, still asleep. A deep shiver ran through her spine, jarring her awake finally.

She groped blindly for the covers, finally finding the edge of her blanket and covering herself with it. She snuggled into her soft pillow, dozing in the blissful state between slumber and she began to awaken, her senses becoming a little less zombie like.

Somewhere in her state of peaceful dozing, she began to notice that the house, well, it was _silent._ No voices floated through her open door from downstairs, no sounds of the television, no music, just...silence. Nikki finally cracked an eye open, wondering if by some strange fluke she had awoken before everybody else. She glanced up at her alarm. 9:02. Nope, Aunt Ava usually awoke at the crack of dawn.

She sat up, her curiosity stirred. She yawned and extracted her legs from the deep cocoon of blankets, planting her feet on the cool wood floor. She shivered. Even the suffocating heat of Playa Linda could not stand up to the ferocity of the air conditioning. She wandered downstairs to look for everyone.

The change of scenery stirred her mind.

Derrick had gone to spend the night at Danny's, so that explained _his_ absence. Bradin was supposed to be helping Jay in the shop all day, and Johnny was most likely already at the restaurant, where he spent the majority of his time nowadays.

But where were Aunt Ava and Susannah?

Nikki walked into the kitchen, yawning, she spotted a note scrawled with her aunt's dainty handwriting.

_ Nikki-  
Running a few errands, didn't want to wake you, we'll be home sometime around two or two thirty.  
Love,  
Aunt Ava & Susannah_

Nikki smiled to herself. So she had the morning to herself. Perfect. First order of business? Take a ridiculously long bath and wash her hair. After pulling it up wet the day before, she had one of those permanent hair lumps that were nearly impossible to get of by only brushing, and her aunt's luxury bathtub and expensive shampoo seemed to call her name.

An hour later, after a lot of shampooing, soaking, shaving and singing, Nikki was out of the shower and squeaky clean. She put her threadbare pajamas back on and padded downstairs, humming to herself cheerfully.

She stood in front of the fridge, accessing its contents. She took a look in a Tupperware container a wrinkled her nose at its contents. Susannah's mystery quiche or casserole-- whatever it was--was coagulated in the corner and seemed to be deflated and oozing spinach. She quickly covered it back up and shoved it in the back of the fridge. She opened the freezer. Eggo waffles. Major improvement. She then moved to the cabinets. Pancake mix. Tough call. Waffles of course would be quicker, but pancakes--

Her train of thought was abruptly cut off by the ringing of the doorbell. Most likely the mailman with some package for Aunt Ava, she thought absently as she padded to the door. She didn't give a second thought to her wet hair, lack of a bra, and the fact that she was dressed in wrinkled, faded pajamas as she swung the door open to reveal not the mail man, but instead, Cameron.

He stood shifting slightly, his hands deep in the pockets of his shorts, a troubled look on his face.

"Cam?" Nikki said, taken back.

"Is this a bad time?" he asked anxiously.

Nikki shook her head, deciding to fight back her natural inquisitiveness for the moment. "Oh, no, its fine, just early, that's all." she said, not able to think of any other response.

"Well, um, can I come in?" He asked, uncertainty etched in his features.

"Oh, yeah, sure." she stepped aside, allowing him to enter the house. She closed the door behind him and glanced down at what she was wearing, suddenly mortified by her appearance. With Cameron's back turned, she quickly tugged her short boxer shorts down and tugged at the hem of her too small t-shirt.

"Everyone's gone." Nikki told him, answering his unspoken question.

"Well that's rare." Cameron commented.

"Seriously. Hey, um.. I'm going to run upstairs and get dressed, so just make yourself at home." she told him.

He nodded, taking a seat on the couch, and Nikki bolted upstairs to become presentable. She glimpsed her hair in the mirror, and felt she could die of embarrassment. It was wet and plastered to her forehead in a very unattractive manor. She plugged in her blow dryer and yanked a comb savagely through it as the heat dried her hair and made it straight.

She dressed quickly in white denim shorts and a purple t-shirt. in record time she brushed her teeth and threw on some make-up, and after deeming her self cute enough, she ran back downstairs.

Cameron was on the sofa in the living room, watching the television absently.

"Okay, breakfast time." Nikki announced, heading into the kitchen. Cameron switched off the television and followed her.

"So the question is, how hungry are we?" Nikki said, opening the fridge and accessing its contents. She closed it, looking over her shoulder at Cameron.

Cameron smiled slightly. "I could eat." he admitted.

"Personally, I'm starving." She leaned back against the counter. "So, the crucial question. Pancakes or waffles?"

They studied each other for a minute before saying at the same moment, "Pancakes."

They both started to laugh, and Nikki opened a cabinet to get out the pancake mix. Cameron stood there awkwardly for a minute, "Can I help you with something?" he offered.

Nikki shook her head furiously, extracting the cord to the griddle from a drawer. "No, I've got it covered. You sit." she waved him away and he obediently took a seat at the breakfast bar.

Nikki began moving expertly around the kitchen, extracting a mixing bowl and measuring cup and other various essentials. Cameron's eyes followed her every move as she measured the appropriate amount of mix and poured water into the bowl.

"So, Cam," Nikki said cheerfully, looking up from the batter she was stirring and locking eyes with him. "What brought you here so early?"

"Do you want me to leave?"

Nikki snorted. "No. But I don't want to have to 'pull a Nikki' and dissect your slightest movement and psychoanalyze you to figure out why you're at my house eating breakfast, instead of at your mom's."

"My mom and I kind of got into a big fight." He said quietly, meeting her eyes. She melted, setting down the bowl of batter and coming around to hop onto the breakfast bar so that her feet rested in on the chair beside him. She stared down at him, her brown eyes filled with concern.

Cameron's gaze faltered and he looked down at the counter. He looked back up, a guilty expression on his face.

"So I bolted." He grimaced as he said it, looking ashamed. "Lame, right? I just ran out on her."

Nikki shook her head. "No, not lame, Cam. Normal. What happened?"

"Remember how I told you about the family therapy I have to go to at Santa Palma?" He paused and she nodded.

"Yeah."

"Well, I took your advice, but I couldn't catch her before she left for work, so this morning I got up early and when she got back home from her shift at the hospital, I told her there was no way in hell I was going."

"She got really upset and told me it was a mandatory part of the program and that I didn't have any choice in the matter. So we started arguing about it and she was saying if I wanted dad to get better than I would have to talk about it so that, I quote, 'the healing process could begin.' So...I left."

Cameron finished, looking down at the counter.

Nikki was surprised. Cameron wasn't one to argue, in fact, he was probably one of the least argumentative people she'd ever known. She had always been the hot-headed one, not him. And laid back Cam arguing with his sweet-tempered mother? Even more unexpected.

"She's such a hypocrite!" Cameron let out harshly, glaring at the toaster. "I mean, she can't stand him. They can't even be in the same room as each other without fighting!"

He clenched his fist and shook his head. "And she expects me to be all hunky dory about family day after--" he stopped, finally looking back up at Nikki. "After everything. Everything he's done."

He had a hard look on his face, and Nikki slid off the counter and wrapped her arms around him. His body was completely tense, but finally rested his hands on her back.

"Cam, every thing's going to be fine. I promise." she said confidently, resting her head on his shoulder. She hugged him tightly. Pulling away, there was a look of uncertainty on his face that just made her even more determined to reassure him. "Maybe a family day is what you need, though..." she said timidly. He looked ready to roll his eyes, but continued to listen. A good sign.

"How so?"

Nikki hoisted herself onto the chair beside him. "He owes you. He owes you an explanation, an apology. Everything. He owes everything to you, Cam." she said softly, he looked blankly at the counter, and she went on. "And maybe having a chance to talk, with your mom there too--is what you need. I think you've got some healing to do, and it's going to be hard enough as it is, so if some designated time--for just getting it all out there--is what it takes, then you should do it."

Cameron looked up. "I don't mean to be so stubborn about it."

"Hey, you at least deserve the right to be stubborn. It's going to suck, it's not exactly discussing something easy... like the weather..." Nikki trailed off and smiled slightly.

"No, actually I think discussing clouds and precipitation is much more intense." Cameron cracked a grin with his lame joke, and Nikki had to laugh, and slid off the seat and went back around to the other side of the breakfast bar to continue with making the pancakes. Cameron turned on the radio and fiddled with the dial, finding an oldies station.

Nikki continued to mix the batter up in a big bowl until it was a smooth consistency. A song by The Who went off and then a song with a familiar tune began to play. Nikki began to sway to the beat as she heated the gridle, a grin on her face and a spatula in hand.

"Oh, so you actually listened to the CD I lent you?" Cameron asked, an extremely cute crooked grin on his face.

Nikki nodded, shimmying ridiculously on her way to a cabinet to take out the cooking oil. The chorus came on and she lip-synced zealously with it, and Cameron had to laugh and join in. A few songs and many laughs later, the pancakes were piled onto a plate and set on the table, silverware, plates, syrup and tall glasses of milk as well.

They sat down to eat, and were soon up to their ears with syrup and pancakes and butter. Cameron just gave her a thumbs up and chowed down. After they were done eating, Nikki tidied the kitchen up. They went into the living room and settled down on the sofa, they watched television for awhile, but after an hour or so, they decided to go hang on the beach.

It was incredibly beautiful out, and it would be a shame to waste the day inside on the couch. Nikki got her phone, a little cash, and wrote her aunt a note saying that she was out at the beach. They hung out and walked around, talking and laughing, but avoiding talking about Cameron's dad, his mom, or the impending visit to Santa Palma.

"You need to call her, Cam." Nikki said. They had taken a seat on the sand and were watching two people on a jet ski skidding the waves.

"Why?"

"Because I bet she's worried about you, you left this morning and its almost two now, don't you think that's long enough?"

Cameron didn't say anything for a minute or two. Nikki glanced sideways at him. He sighed, standing up. "I'll be back in a minute."

Nikki watched as he walked away from her to the edge of the waves, pacing some. He pulled out his cell phone and punched a number in quickly. He brushed his bottom lip slightly with his fingers, his nervous habit. She watched as his lips moved, but he was too far away for her to hear what he was saying. Well, at least he was calling her. He came back a couple of minutes later.

"Better?"

He nodded slightly, holding out his hand to her. "Let's go to the promenade." She gladly accepted it, and he pulled her up from the sand.

They walked toward the promenade, which wasn't too far away. It was bustling with beach goers and surfers coming in for a cold drink. They passed Tiki Squeeze.

"We should boycott it in protest of them firing their best employee." Nikki said, nodding toward the smoothie shop.

Cameron laughed. "It's okay. Two Brothers has better milkshakes, anyway. I just wouldn't admit it while I worked at the rival cafe."

"I always thought that, too!" Nikki admitted. "I just didn't want to offend you." Cameron laughed. They passed an ice cream cart, and Nikki stopped.

"You want some?" Nikki asked.

Cameron shook his head. "Nah, I don't have my wallet on me anyway."

"Oh my god, Cam. You pay for like everything when we hang out!" Nikki said in disbelief, digging in the pocket of her shorts. She turned to the person behind the cart and handed them a five. "One vanilla, one chocolate, please."

They fixed the cones and handed them to Nikki. She turned back to Cam, giving him the chocolate cone. He looked amused. "Thanks."

"No problem." she got her change, dropping the coins in the tip jar before leaving. They walked onto the pier that extended off the promenade and went to the far barrier that separated them from the ocean.

"You know, this is the exact same place where you asked me out for the first time." Nikki said.

Cameron groaned. "God. That was a disaster." he said seriously, leaning back on the railing and facing her.

"How so?"

"You remember I first asked you to that Founder's Day thing at camp? And I'd been working toward asking you all day and then you shot me town and said it was..I think you said 'lame ass', is that right? You completely killed my ego."

Nikki couldn't help but laugh, thinking back.

"I didn't realize you were asking me out, and then I still didn't know until we were fishing and you invited me to your house instead and said we'd be alone and you said it with a huge smile on your face. It's not like I had any experience with guys, but I definitely knew you liked me then."

Cameron rubbed his bottom lip thoughtfully, his eyes rueful. "You know, those are probably four of the hardest words I've ever said in my life."

"Which ones?"

"'Then it's a date' I'm pretty sure I had to give myself pep talks." He laughed as he told her this, shaking his head.

"Aw, how sweet. You couldn't wait to get me alone." Nikki grinned sheepishly at him and took a lick of her ice cream cone. "Doesn't last summer seem like five years ago, instead of just one?"

"Yeah." He turned around to face the water like Nikki. "I don't know... sometimes, I think that if someone had told me a year ago everything that would happen this past year, I wouldn't have believed them."

Nikki nodded in understanding.

"If you'd told me at the end of seventh grade that the next year I'd be at a middle school in California where I could count ever single person I knew there on one hand, and my aunt was dating the principal, who'd later leave her at the altar on their wedding day, I'd run for class president against my best friend slash ex-boyfriend and an evil cheerleader and lose miserably against the later, and that I would actually try out for cheerleading myself, and become the school mascot instead, and then have a huge crush on a gay guy helping us run the lit mag...Oh, and then let Amber get me drunk when I go to read my poem..."

Cameron laughed at that. "Oh, I _wish_ I'd gotten to see that."

Nikki nudged him playfully. "No one really wanted to see what I'd eaten for lunch...and breakfast."

Cameron scrunched up his nose. "Okay, maybe not, but it still would've been funny."

"Yeah, funny for you. I had to endure hours of long parental talks. Even from Jay."

Cameron snorted. "Way'ta down a whole bottle, yeah, Nik? 'Ey thatsa good one!" he said in a perfect imitation of Jay's accent.

Nikki doubled over laughing at his impression of Jay. "Oh my god, Cam. That was perfect."

"I try, I try." he said with a cheeky grin.

Nikki laughed again and leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

Cameron acted disgusted. He wiped his cheek and then wiped his palm on his shorts. "Cooties." he said simply.

Nikki shrugged, "If you got them, I got them, no big deal."

"Well, that's true." he admitted ruefully. And then he leaned in and gave her a kiss that would make her properly infected.

Someone whistled from behind them, and Nikki pulled back, grinning hard.

"You know, if you think about it seriously," Nikki continued. "I really _did_ run off the principal of the school. Ruined his rehearsal dinner and his wedding day."

"I guess the high school principal better look out." Cam commented.

"I'm pretty sure the principal there is an old fat guy who's married."

"Until he sees your aunt, right?"

"Ew. Gross. I think Johnny is finally going to step up though. There's never been a better time." Nikki told him, licking her ice cream cone.

"Yeah, well hopefully at her next wedding you won't end up in tears and run off the principal from the school." he teased lightly. Nikki didn't laugh, it was secretly something she would always feel horrible about, because no matter what Ava said, it _was_ her fault.

"That was my entire fault though." She admitted. "I shouldn't have said anything at the dinner--I ruined it all." She had never told anyone this.

Cam touched her arm. "Hey, its not your fault. They're adults, you know. If it were meant to be, Dr. O'Keefe would've said I do, and you'd have a new uncle."

Nikki shrugged. Cameron looked at her intently. "Don't blame yourself."

"I still feel bad about it though. That's why I want the Johnny thing to work, so she has a happy ending. She deserves it."

"You can't feel bad about it though, Nik." He said seriously. "My dad-- he always tried to blame me, you know. About their divorce, and I--" he stopped, looking down at her. "I used to believe him. And I felt like shit about it for a long time. Like if I wasn't around, maybe they'd still be married and be happy. But then, I was talking to my mom about it the past few days, and you know--she said they'd been having issues for a long time, years, even...I was just a kid, so I didn't they had tried to make it work, but couldn't. I finally believed her once she said it. It wasn't my fault." He stopped talking then added, "It's not your fault either."

Nikki was silent. Since she had found out about Cameron's father, she had seen another side of him. And when he talked about it, it scared her to see the extent of the abuse. She suspected that it ran deeper than she could imagine, that more had happened that he hadn't even told her. And that made her genuinely worried for him, and worried about the visit to Santa Palma.

"You never told me he blamed you for it."

The expression on her face told her that, yes, there was a lot he hadn't told her, and she bit her lip.

"I wish you didn't have to go tomorrow." She said finally. "Maybe it_ is_ too soon."

Cam shrugged. "I guess I should just get it over with already, since its inevitable."

Nikki grimaced a little. Better to not avoid the inevitable, then.

They got back to Nikki's at around three, after spending the past few hours at the beach and at lunch and spending time talking on the pier. They entered the house through the sliding glass patio door. Colby, Ava, and Susannah were seated in the living room, talking animatedly, all wearing matching smiles alight on their faces.

"What's got you three so excited?" Nikki asked, looking back and forth between her aunt and her business partners. Colby looked ready to burst with excitement. And it was safe to say she and Cameron could each use a mood booster.

"We got the space! AvaG's officially no longer run out of the second floor!" her aunt announced happily from her seat on the sofa.

Nikki clapped her hands together. "Wow! That's so great. Congratulations!"

"And we are all going to celebrate!" Susannah said. "So clear your night. This occasion calls for a signature bonfire with anyone and everyone." Her happiness was infectious, and Nikki couldn't help but be pleased for them.

She looked over at Cam. "So you think we can make time for a celebratory bonfire?"

"I think a bonfire sounds like a lot of fun."

"Then it's settled!" Colby announced. "We need food, lots and lots of food..." he rambled on, listing all the think they needed to make the night 'fabulous'.

"Do you two want to come to the store with me?" Susannah asked them, "I could use the help, judging from Colby's list." she glanced at the paper where he was jotting things down.

"Sure."

Fifteen minutes later, after getting a list of everything to buy, they piled into the backseat Susannah's car to go to the grocery store.

Susannah chattered happily from the front seat as she pulled out of the garage and started to drive toward the store.

"Getting the space is exactly what we needed for AvaG. It's going to take us to the next level. " she said, grinning at them in the rear view mirror. It had been awhile since Nikki had seen her this happy.

"So how big is it?"

"Oh, it's perfect. Ava and I were brainstorming and we thought it might work out to be an office slash boutique sort of thing...There's a room in the back that's perfect for office use, and a middle room that could act as the showroom for the new collection so buyers can come in and consider it for their stores, and the front room we were thinking could be a boutique were the line is on sale to the public, but that's provided we get the loan to do that."

"That sounds cool."

"Well, the building needs a little work. We are thinking of expanding the storefront window, and it definitely needs some paint, because right now it's a sickly yellow color."

"You know Nikki and I are pretty good at painting." Cameron looked over at Nikki. "Aren't we?"

"Yeah, if you want it Jackson Polluck style, we're totally your best bet." she said, referring to the spotted mess she called her bedroom walls.

Susannah laughed. "I don't think Jackson Polluck is exactly the look we're going for, but we may have to take you up on your offer to help, any way to cut corners, and I doubt there is any money in our budget for professional painters."

"You know Colby will have a field day getting to decide what color to paint the walls." Nikki said.

Susannah groaned. "If Colby had it his way, anything and everything would be bright magenta."

"With sparkles." Nikki added.

"Wow, that sounds girly." Cameron commented, nudging Nikki slightly. She had to laugh.

"Spoken like a true guy." she said.

They babbled about the new AvaG location and Colby's taste in colors until they reached the store. Susannah ripped the long list in half and handed half to Nikki and Cameron.

Nikki looked at the list. "Heineken? B&J wine coolers? You want to switch halves?"

Susannah snatched the list from Nikki's hands and replaced it with a more kid friendly one. "Have fun!" she took off in one direction.

Cameron grabbed a cart. "First item on the list?"

"Um, tortilla chips and stuff to make Rotel dip..."

And so they continued on, throwing things on the list in the cart. Nikki would sometimes go to grab something off the shelf and turn around and Cameron would be smiling innocently at her. She would just give him a weird look and go to put something in the cart and find something entirely random just sitting there.

"Ew, Cam! Pig's feet in a jar? Are you insane?"

He grinned lazily. "Y'know, I've always heard that insanity is actually a very sane response to a completely insane world."

After almost half an hour of this, they finally ran into Susannah, who also had a cart. "Are you done with your half of the list? And why is there a bag of Depends in there?"

Nikki glanced at the green bag of adult diapers lying there conspicuously with the other various items. She took them out glancing over at Cam, but he was wearing his poker face. She pitched them at him, but his reflexes were good, and he caught them.

"Well, Cam ran out of his at home, so he needed a few more."

Cameron began to protest but Susannah just put her hand up. "I don't even _want_ to know." she wheeled her cart around and headed for the check out. It took awhile to get everything scanned, bagged and paid for, but finally they were done with their grocery run and were loading up the trunk of the car. Once they got back to the beach house, they unloaded the car and brought everything in.

Nikki and Cameron went upstairs to hang out in her room, after Cameron had expressed his urge to play some old school board games. She pulled down a stack of games form her closet.

"Okay! So I have Monopoly, Yahtzee... Sorry!, Life, Cranium, Mad Gab, and Scategories."

"I've never played Scategories before."

"Seriously?" Nikki asked in disbelief, "It's the best game ever!"

"How do you play?"

Nikki jumped on the question and explained enthusiastically about the timer and the dice and the point system. And soon they were sitting facing each other on her bed, both set up with the boards, and writing furiously. The timer ended. "Okay, Girl's name starting with an H?" Nikki asked him.

"Hannah."

They continued playing for the next hour, Cameron had won three and Nikki had won three. They were playing the tie-breaker, when Ava popped her head in the door.

"Hey kids." She greeted. "We could use some extra hands downstairs getting ready."

"Oh, okay." Nikki said, glancing at Cameron. "We'll finish this later."

"Is that a promise?" He asked.

"No, its a threat." She said with a smile. "Because I'm going to beat your pants off."

"You're on." he said, holding out his hand. She shook it firmly before flipping her writing board shut and getting off the bed.

Once downstairs, Ava had them doing a flurry of different tasks. They made the cheese dip, and properly tasted it too, and put it in the dip bowl and put chips around it. Then they had out the different containers of fruit and vegetables and were putting them together on two platters when Susannah's cell phone rang.

"It's the real estate agent." she said, confused.

"Why does he want now? We got the place, we saw him a few hours ago..." Ava also looked confused.

"Well, we better take it." she said before flipping open her phone. "Susannah Rexford." she said in a businesslike voice.

"We'll be right back." Ava whispered. And she, Susannah and Colby retreated back upstairs.

"I hope they aren't calling to tell them they actually _didn't_ get it." Nikki said, worried.

Cameron shrugged. "I don't think they can do that, if they signed the contract for the lease already."

"Hopefully not."

She finished putting the fruit plate together, and then helped Cameron finish up the vegetable platter.

Soon, they were done with their assigned tasks.

Nikki went upstairs to use the bathroom, leaving Cameron sitting alone on the couch in the living room. As he sat there and waited for Nikki to come back downstairs, he heard a key in the lock of the front door and then the sound of it opening. He turned and saw Bradin coming inside.

"Oh, hey Bradin." he greeted him, raising a hand in welcome. He wasn't very close to Bradin by any means, but the two were generally very friendly toward each other.

"Hey, man." Bradin stepped into the living room, "Where's Nikki at?"

Cameron gestured vaguely up the stairs. "Bathroom or, you know, whatever girls do..." he trailed off and Bradin took a seat, glancing around. "Where's everyone else at?"

"I guess outside, your aunt and Susannah got that location, so they're planning a bonfire to celebrate."

"That's cool." Bradin narrowed his eyes at Cameron. There was a brief pause before he spoke. "So." he said conversationally. "You and my sister have been going out for awhile now."

Cameron shifted uncomfortably, unsure of where this was going. "Yeah, I mean, I guess so."

"So...you like her?" Bradin asked pointedly.

Cameron looked like a deer caught in headlights, color draining from his face. "Um, yeah, of course-I-I mean...yeah."

"You treat her right? Respect her?" He fired, staring Cameron down.

"Yeah--I try to..." Cameron trailed off, seeing the look on Bradin's face turn threatening. "Of course, of course I do."

"Good." Bradin said, considering him for a moment. "You know my little sister is a special girl, so I'd think you would want to treat her right, you know, give her what she deserves."

Cameron nodded, "Always, right."

"Hm." was all Bradin said, leaning forward a little. "I guess you two are pretty serious then."

Cameron had no idea what to say. If he said no, well then Bradin might think he didn't care for Nikki, if he said yes, well, then Bradin might assume they were serious in all aspects, and pummel him first and ask for specifics later. He was considering the slim chance he had to escape, when Bradin stood up suddenly, clapping a hand firmly on his shoulder.

"You know, Cameron, I was your age once. I'm a guy, you know, so, you I'm just letting you know that I know what you know, so I hope that you don't think you're the only one that knows what you know, you know?"

Cameron looked at him like he was crazy. "Um, okay."

Bradin nodded and then he proceeded to leave the room. Cameron sat there bewildered, and Nikki entered the room a few seconds later, her cute sunny smile on her face. She took a seat beside him. "So, what..." she started to say, but then stopped, noticing Cameron's expression.

"Cam? Why do you look so terrified?"

"What? I don't--I'm not.."

Nikki was suspicious about his fumbling for words. "Wait, was my brother just in here?"

Cameron turned beet red. "I--no, well...yeah, but I mean--"

Nikki's eyes widened, then she scrunched them up, covering her face with her hands. "I told him not to! I mean...did he say--?" she trailed off, finally moving her hands from her face and opening her eyes, looking over at a still horrified Cam.

"Wow. Um--awkward."

There was kind of an ironic pause, before Cameron spoke.

"Yeah." he said in a very articulate manner. It broke the gauge in conversation and Nikki laughed.

"I'll kill him." she decided with a shrug, and then they both started to laugh.

Colby was coming down the stairs then, "Who are you killing, hon?" he asked, obviously interested, going to the fridge for a drink.

"Bradin." they said at the same time.

"What'd he do?" he asked, pulling out a jug of lemonade.

"Something I told him not to." Nikki said vaguely.

"Hm, well, don't spill his blood tonight, sweetie, it's time for celebration!" he exclaimed, pouring his drink.

Nikki mumbled something inaudible, and Colby smiled cheerfully at her before returning upstairs.

Ava came back downstairs next, with Susannah trailing behind.

"What did the real estate guy want?" Nikki asked them, they didn't look devastated or anything, so that was a good sign.

"Just to iron out some specifics he forgot to go over, no big deal." Susannah said nonchalantly, snatching a carrot off the platter they had just put together. "These look nice by the way."

"Thanks, is there anything else you need us to do?" Nikki asked.

"If you two could drag out the table from the garage and get out some tiki torches, that'd be really really helpful." Ava admitted. "Johnny will be back soon enough, and Jay is supposed to pick Derrick up from Isobel's on his way home from closing up the shop, or I'd ask one of them."

"Sure thing."

They ventured into the messy garage, and eventually found the folding table they set up on the beach for bonfires and parties. Together they carried it out to the beach and set it up. Going back into the garage, the tiki torches were a little more difficult to find. After about ten minutes of searching, they finally found them behind an old boogie board and pair of skis.

"This is slight deja vu." Nikki mused, referring to the Luau party from last summer, as they descended the stairs onto the beach, each holding a few torches.

"Yeah, but hopefully tonight you don't try to rip somebody's hair out." Cameron said thoughtfully, stabbing a torch into the sand.

"Well, tonight hopefully _you_ won't start scamming on your ex-girlfriend because she's walking around half-naked."

Cameron had to laugh. "Alright, alright...truce."

They joked about the party a little more as they put up the tiki torches, and Nikki finally found it funny now that she looked back on it.

"Let's go for a walk." Cameron suggested suddenly, stabbing his last torch into the sand.

"Um, okay." she put her last torch into the sand and they started walking away from the bonfire. The sky was growing dark as they walked in silence. They walked about halfway down to the pier and stopped to take a seat.

"Nikki?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you, I mean, do you think you could-- come with me? Tomorrow? To Santa Palma?" he asked carefully, looking straight out across the water as he said it.

"Come with you?"

"Yeah." He looked sideways at her.

"Of course I'll come, Cam." Nikki sincerely. He looked at her for a minute, considering her answer, before speaking.

"Thanks, Nik. That--that makes it seem more bearable..." He paused. "It means a lot, really."

There was a meaningful silence between them, a mutual gratitude and understanding. Nikki got up from the sand, holding out her hand to him.

"Come on, let's get back before they eat all the food. You know how Jay is."

Cameron grinned, exposing the gap in his teeth. He took her hand and allowed her to help pull him up. They fell into step beside each other as they made their way back toward the house, Nikki keeping his hand. He smiled down at her, and she genuinely returned it before it twisted into a smirk.

"Race ya back!" She yelled, dropping his hand and taking off.

"Hey!"

* * *

Nikki sat with her legs tucked beneath her, roasting a marshmallow and leaning against Cameron's legs, as he sat balanced on the log behind her. Jay was elaborately retelling some story about surfing, and everyone was laughing.

"And then," Jay's accent was multiplied times ten when he was excited, "he just flipped off backwards. So much for being the best competitor, yeah?"

Nikki laughed with the others, looking at the faces of everyone around her. Bradin sat directly across from her, Erika sitting next to him. She was smiling shyly over at him and Bradin returned the smile, offering her a piece of graham cracker for her smore. She accepted it, and scooted a little bit closer to him on the log.

Ava and Johnny sat together as well, beers in hand. Nikki noticed how Johnny's arm seemed to have a permanent twitch, like he was trying to get up the nerve to put it around her shoulders. He would raise his arm and run it through his hair and then almost lower it around her shoulders, but kept chickening out. Nikki watched, amused, as he accidentally bumped Ava's shoulder.

"Oh, uh...sorry." he said.

Ava just gave him a puzzled look but smiled anyway.

She looked over at Susannah, who was sipping a wine cooler contently, obviously pleased with her own business accomplishment. Colby sat giggling drunkenly next to her, just as pleased, but maybe even more.

"AvaG! What a great...great name." He tittered, covering his mouth with his hand. Susannah just patted his shoulder, which made him giggle more.

Derrick was for once not playing his PSP, but instead chowing down on a hot dog, his hair falling messily in his eyes. Nikki followed his gaze to see him also starring at Ava and Johnny. She smiled once again, perfectly happy to be around everyone she loved, more aware of this as she leaned back on Cameron's legs.

"Uh, Nikki.." Cameron said suddenly.

Nikki looked back over her shoulder at him. "Yeah?"

"I think your marshmallows are done."

Nikki's head immediately whipped around, removing her bent wire hanger from the fire. "Oh, shoot!" she cried.

The marshmallows stuck on the end were blackened, and flaming. She'd ignored them while she had been lost in thought. She began to blow on them, finally extinguishing the flames.

She then realized everyone was looking over at her, laughing.

"Tasty charcoal." Bradin joked. Nikki glowered at him, removing the gooey specimens from the end of the hanger and dropping them in the sand.

Cameron tapped her on the shoulder. She turned and he was holding a perfectly toasted marshmallow out to her, golden brown around the outside, one he had carefully rotated to toasty perfection. Nikki smiled gratefully, accepting the gift.

"Thank you."

"No problem." Cameron said, grabbing the bag to roast a few more.

Nikki made herself a smore and then moved to sit beside him on the log. She smiled over at Cameron, who was spearing more marshmallows to toast.

Conversation flowed around the circle, and everyone wore the same relaxed expression on his or her face. Nikki noticed that Cameron seemed to have the same arm twitch that Johnny had. He fidgeted with his hair, his pocket, the hem of his shorts.

Finally, Nikki took the lead and put his arm around her shoulders, leaning into him steadily and not caring that they were surrounded by her non-conventional family. Cameron looked down at her momentarily, grinning at the fact that she had caught on to his unsureness.

The warmth of the fire combined with the feel of Cameron's arm around her, the fact that she had beat him in the race back home, and the salty scent of the ocean and the smoky smell of the fire and the feel of the sand beneath her feet and the wonderfully sweet, sticky smore she was eating and the clean smell coming from Cameron's clothes and skin all mixed together into a feeling of happiness inside her that she couldn't possibly ever capture in words.

She moved closer to Cameron, a thought popped into her head. _I am happy now_, she thought to herself. The thought sent a shiver down she spine.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"No, no...I'm okay. Great, actually." she insisted.

He just smiled, the gap in his front teeth exposed. "Me too."

Nikki turned back around, smiling to herself.

She made eye contact with her aunt. She was raising an eyebrow, grinning from seeing the sweet encounter. Nikki felt her face heat up from something that had nothing to do with the roaring fire. She diverted her gaze to Bradin, who was now telling a funny story about something back in Kansas.

She enthusiastically helped fill in details he was forgetting, glad to escape from Ava's knowing gaze and focus her thoughts on something else.

Nikki felt something vibrate against her hip, Cameron extracted his arm from around her shoulders and dug in his pocket, "Hello?" he answered it, "Mmhmm. I'll be there in a minute."

The situation happened often enough for Nikki to know that he was leaving. He stood up from his seat on the log, and Nikki followed his lead.

"Thanks for having me, Ms. Gregory. The bonfire was a lot of fun."

"Oh no, problem, Cam. You know you're welcome here whenever," Ava said dismissively, a wide smile on her face. Cameron returned it with one of gratitude, always enjoying being included as if he were just another part of the family.

"'See ya, Cameron." Johnny said, a small wave.

"Bye guys." Cameron said, waving over his shoulder to the others, as he and Nikki began making their way back up to the beach house. He got his discarded shoes from a heap on the patio and shook the stray sand off before slipping them on.

The house was empty as everyone was still at the bonfire. They got to the front door, and Nikki reached for the doorknob, but Cameron stopped her by gently grabbing her arm, he turned her toward him. Nikki's puzzlement dissolved as she saw the expression on his face.

"Thanks for everything, especially agreeing to come with me...I don't think I could go there alone." He said softly, his cheeks turned slightly pink as he admitted this. The corner of her lips twitched into a smile.

His gaze was so intense and sincere she felt her heart flutter as he opened up to her, something he had done more and more lately, and Nikki took it as a sign that they were becoming closer despite everything occurring. He smiled a crooked little half-smile, and leaned down towards her.

Nikki's eyes slid closed easily, Cameron's hand took hers firmly, and their lips met in a kiss. His lips were gentle, moving in a slow, soft way. She returned his kiss eagerly, and when they both pulled away they were both smiling. Nikki's heart rate was uneven, her face was tilted up to meet Cameron's eyes.

That revelation hit her again. She was in love with him. This thought did nothing to ease her heartbeat, and she tightened her grip on Cameron's hand before he dropped it.

"I guess its time for me to go now." Cameron said.

They walked out to his mom's car. Mrs. Bale looked extremely tired, but grateful to see Cameron looking happy and relaxed. She rolled down the window.

"Hi, Nikki. Thanks for keeping Cam company today."

"No problem, Mrs. Bale. We had fun."

"Well, it's nice seeing you again."

"You too."

"Hey, I'll call you later and tell you about tomorrow, okay?" Cameron said quietly to her. She nodded.

Cameron gave a small wave before getting into the car and speeding away. Nikki stood there for a few moments, watching as the car disappeared down the street.

She went back into the house, not feeling any desire to go back to the bonfire and eat more food when she was already stuffed. She tinkered around in the kitchen for awhile, putting up condiments and rolling up open bags of chips and putting clips on them, loading a few dishes into the dishwasher. Once the kitchen was sort of tidy, she went upstairs to her bedroom.

Her bed was stacked with board games. Scategories still lay open from when they had been playing it earlier. Cameron's sheet was partially filled in with his messy handwriting from their last unfinished game. She looked at it for a minute, deciding that she would have won if they'd been able to finish. She put up all the sheets and the timer in the box and then returned the stack of board games into her closet.

She got dressed in pajamas, and washed her face and brushed her teeth and hair. She found her copy of _Emma,_ and settled onto her bed to read.

Her cell phone started to ring. That would be Cameron. She got up and got it off her dresser.

"Hey Cam."

"Hey."

"So, what's the deal on tomorrow?" she asked, taking a seat on her bed.

"Well, I told my mom that I wanted you to come, she was a little unsure about it at first, but she said it was alright."

"What time do you think you'll pick me up?"

"Mom said Santa Palma is about an hour away, and the thing starts at 12:30, so we'll probably be there around 11:15 or 11:30."

"I still need to ask my aunt, but I'm sure it'll be fine with her."

"Alright, well I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Okay, Good night."

"'Night." He said, and she clicked off.

She fell back on her bed. Tomorrow was sure to be...eventful. Much less carefree than today. She wasn't exactly sure what to expect from Cameron's dad, or his mom, for that matter. Or from Cameron, to add to it.

She sighed, sitting up. "Better to not postpone the inevitable." she muttered to her empty bedroom, heading off to ask her aunt about going to ask about tomorrow.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

**Hi guys! Ohmigosh! It's been forever. God, I am so inconsistent with writing/updating. BUT! This entire story is REVAMPED. That's one reason the update took so long. I started this two summers ago, and alas, I am older and the way I write has evolved and (hopefully) improved tons since I first posted this. I went back and fixed typos, rewrote to my heart's content! Nothing has changed in the story, but if you have the time or patience to reread you won't stumble on as many typos (you know-there and their--things like that). I hope you guys liked this chapter, I know it took forever to update. All in all, this year has been pretty crappy, and I won't be sad to see it go, so I'm looking forward to 2008 when I can start a new slate on basically everything, including updating in a timely manner. **

**Thank you for continuing to read this despite my sporadic updating schedule, I appreciate you guys so much! ****I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, have fun and have a relaxing and safe holiday!**

** Thanks for reading! Have a great holiday :)**

**Love,**

**Chris Grace **


	11. Chapter 10

**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Ten**

Rachel Bale's car was silent on the ride to Santa Palma Recovery Center. The facility was an hour away from Playa Linda by car. The only noises were the radio playing softly and the rhythmic sound of the tires as the miles melted away on the highway. Nikki had given up on trying to make small talk with Cameron within the first ten minutes of the trip.

She glanced over at him. His jaw was set as he stared determinedly out the window. Nikki leaned her head back on the seat, her own gaze shifting to the other window.

Last night she had managed to get her aunt alone to ask her. Ava had been uneasy, questioning if it was appropriate for her to come along in such a delicate situation. Nikki herself wondered that too, but Cameron had asked her to come, and she was willing to, if it made it any easier for him. After a little reasoning, her aunt had given in and said it was okay for her to go.

Forty-five minutes later, they passed a sign which read, "Santa Palma Exit: 5 miles"

Nikki glanced anxiously at Cameron. His expression was the same as it had been over half an hour ago. She studied his face closely, he looked exhausted. Like he hadn't slept in days.

She herself spent the night tossing and turning. She was nervous. Kyle hadn't been too kind the last time she had seen him, and she wasn't expecting him to be too happy about her coming along. She could only imagine how anxious Cameron must be.

Soon they were driving down the main street of Santa Palma. From the looks of things, it didn't have much going for it. Roughly the size of Playa Linda, smaller maybe. The Californian town was unremarkable and lacked a beach. Generic stores littered the main street in town and it could have just as easily been some place in Idaho, save the palm trees.

They pulled off the main stretch of road, turning onto a long street. A sign told them that the facility was just two miles further.

The minutes went by too quickly, and soon they saw the sign that welcomed them to Santa Palma Recovery Center, the finest facility for recovering addicts in the state of California. There was a long driveway, shaded slightly by trees. The driveway forked, one side had a sign pointing to employee parking, another to a visitor's lot.

They followed the arrow pointing toward visitor parking, and the lot was packed with cars already. They found a decent parking space and parked, and then went inside the facility.

There was a welcome table in the lobby with a wispy haired man sitting behind it wearing one of those 'Hello, My name is…" tags. His name was Joseph. He greeted them and gave them each their own name tag and after they had each stuck it on their shirts, he pointed them to a doorway leading out of the lobby. Another employee lead them down a long hallway to another set of double doors.

"I'll go get Kyle to tell him that you're here." The woman said with a smile, leaving them in the large room and going back through the double doors.

The cafeteria was crowded, reunited families were embracing, some crying. Others though, appeared uncomfortable, strained expressions on their faces. Nikki felt uncomfortable. This was such a personal thing, and now that she was here, she realized it wasn't really her place.

A few minutes later they saw Kyle approach, his eyes falling on Rachel first, and then Cameron, then his eyes flickered to Nikki, his face registering surprise momentarily, then it faded. His gaze shifted back to Cameron, his face breaking into a slight smile. He opened his arms for a hug. Cameron obliged, hugging back stiffly.

Nikki watched with interest. Kyle pulled away, mussing up Cameron's hair. "How ya been, buddy?"

"I'm okay." Cam muttered, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

Kyle then nodded at his ex-wife. "Rachel." he said, inclining his head slightly. His gaze then shifted over to Nikki.

"Hey there, Nikki." He said it in a perfectly pleasant voice.

"Hi, Mr. Bale."

"What a surprise." He said in the same pleasant voice.

Cameron intervened, "I asked her to come with me, Dad."

"Oh well, okay then." he said dismissively, "Why don't we get in line for some lunch." He pointed toward the back corner where there was a line for food.

After ten minutes of standing in line for lunch, they found an empty table, Nikki taking a seat next to Cameron. Rachel and Kyle sat across from them, Rachel barely concealing her discomfort as she scooted her chair away from Kyle. If Rachel looked ill at ease, Nikki looked downright distressed. She kept glancing sideways at Cameron, her eyes darting back and forth between him and Kyle.

Cameron suddenly felt sorry for asking her to come. It wasn't her problem to deal with. It was his, and he certainly_ didn't _want to be here.

Then he thought, realistically, if she hadn't come, that there was no way he could handle being alone with him, or them, for that matter. He hated that feeling of being stuck in between them, like a referee. Even now, when only pleasantries had been exchanged, lunch barely having started, there was a tension in the air. His mother was on edge, ready to go ballistic at any moment. It was way too close to how he used to feel, before the divorce. Maybe it was worse.

And the day had only just begun.

An awkward silence fell over them. His mom seemed very interested in her salad and he could tell she was trying to stay composed. Nikki's head seemed to whip in his direction every few seconds, and Cameron took this time to study his father. He was gazing at Cameron hesitantly, as if he was unsure of what to say or do.

He was alert, a large change from his usual haziness after drinking. He was clean-shaven, all the usual scruffiness gone. He didn't seem angry or obstinate about the situation, his face was quite open, frank, in fact.

He studied Cameron's face just as intently as Cameron had studied his. His steady, unblinking gaze through his bright green eyes made Cameron fidgety, and he dropped his gaze to the bracelet on Kyle's left wrist.

He cleared his throat, nodding toward the bracelet. "So, uh, if you try to leave, do you set off some kind of alarm or something?"

Kyle glanced down at the band on his wrist. "Oh, yeah. Alarms start blaring, a SWAT team shows up, they usually do a man hunt with dogs if someone gets away...Call in helicopters, the whole thing, you know."

They all sat there, staring at Kyle.

"Joke." He amended quickly. Nikki and Rachel stared blankly. Cameron let out a forced, weak laugh that sounded more like he was choking.

"No, nothing happens if you walk out. I can release myself, if I want."

"Have you wanted to?" Cameron asked, unable to stop the question from bubbling to his lips.

Kyle hesitated at first, glancing at Rachel.

"Well, at times." he admitted. "But I'm not going to, I'm going to try to stick this out."

"Good."

Another tense silence.

Luckily the tension was relieved as a woman came on stage with a microphone, ending the forced small talk.

"Hello, everyone, I'm Debbie Coleman, program director, and welcome to Family Day at Santa Palma Recovery!"

There was polite clapping in the cafeteria.

Debbie was a middle aged brunette, wearing way too much make-up and a stiff teal pantsuit. Her wide smile came off as a little less congenial and a little more manic looking. As she spoke, the wide smile faded into a more solemn expression.

"Here at Santa Palma Recovery Center, we recognize that addiction is a disease that affects all aspects of the addicts' lives. Many times, family relationships are negatively affected. Addiction causes the ones we love to act out of character, sometimes leading to emotional, mental and even physical abuse."

Cameron felt Nikki send him a sidelong glance, yet he stared straight ahead at the woman on stage.

"Family Days integrated into our designated twelve steps program are imperative to the healing of the family as a whole. Therapy sessions allow each family member to open up in a safe, controlled environment where they can confront and focus on issues in the home."

The woman continued on, and the rest of the family luncheon passed in relative harmony, helped by the fact that various speakers came on stage, leaving little time for making small talk.

A former alcoholic who had been treated at Santa Palma gave a testimonial, telling the audience how she had lost everything she held dear to her, before finally coming to her senses and checking herself into treatment. Now she owned a successful business and was re-married, the relationships with her children restored, and everything was just dandy.

It made Cameron feel more hopeful, albeit he was pretty hopeless to begin with, to know that rehab could work. It was a nice change from the melancholy string of thoughts he'd been having for the past few months.

The head psychologist, a specialist is addiction recovery, said a few things, and afterward Debbie Coleman came on stage again to tell them where to report to be told when their therapy session would begin.

Last names starting with A through J in the Week One category would report to Joseph, the little wispy-haired man, down the hall in a sort of waiting was them. There was a crowd of families already in the room once they found it.

Joseph stood in the center of the room clutching a clipboard. He cleared his throat to get the attention of the room.

"Excuse me, please! Excuse me! Can I have your attention up here, please!"

He looked terribly uncomfortable, shifting from foot to foot, once everyone was looking up at him. "I'm going to call up one family at a time and give you the time of your session."

He fumbled with papers on his clipboard. "Can I have Bale, Kyle, please?"

The four of them stood and approached the man.

"Your session is starting first with Dr. Nielsen. And accompanying you is your ex-wife, Rachel Bale," he paused, his eyes landing on Rachel's name tag. "And your son, Cameron Bale." His eyes landed on Cameron. He looked at Nikki, checking the clipboard, appearing frantic.

"Um, is this your...uh, daughter? She wasn't on the list--"

"No, no--" Kyle started to say.

"She's a friend." Cameron said at the same time.

Joseph looked confused. "Uh, well, you can't really come into the therapy session with them, so..." He scratched his head. "You can wait in the main lobby until they're done?" His last statement sounded more like a question.

Nikki nodded. "Okay."

"Do you need help finding it, or...?" Joseph looked even more uncomfortable asking her if she needed assistance.

"I got it." She said with a wave of her hand. She nonchalantly grabbed Cameron's hand for a second and squeezed. "I'll see you guys later." She said casually to them all, but as she said it she look straight up at Cameron. She dropped his hand and gave a little wave before disappearing down the hall.

"Well, lets go on, then." Joseph said, and led them out of the room and through a maze of hallways to a door marked Aaron Nielsen. He knocked and a deep voice came from inside, "It's open."

Joseph opened the door to a small, cozy office before retreating back into the hallway. There was a white haired man sitting at a desk in the corner, typing on a sleek black Mac. He immediately shut his computer and stood up from his seat, approaching them with a welcoming grin.

"Hello, you must be Rachel." The older man stuck out his hand to her and gave her a firm hand shake. "I'm Dr. Nielsen, but you can call me Aaron."

He turned to Cameron.

"And you must be Cameron." Cameron began to extend his hand, but instead Aaron firmly clapped him on the shoulder and gave him a little shake.

"Let's get started, shall we?" He took a seat in the winged armchair in the center of the room and motioned to the chairs and love seat it faced, "Take a seat, make yourselves comfortable."

Cameron was slightly put off by Aaron's weird gesture but shook it off and took a seat on the love seat next to his mom, his dad taking a seat in an adjacent chair.

"Alright, Kyle," Aaron began, settling back into his chair. "Why don't we start off today's session with you telling Cameron and Rachel about completing the first steps on your road to recovery."

"I've been following The Twelve Steps program…" Kyle offered, unsure of what to say next.

"Why don't you tell them what the steps are, and how you've completed them." Aaron suggested kindly.

Cameron peered sideways at his dad, surprised that he was being so meek, when he was usually so aggressive about, well, everything, even in conversation.

"Uh, well, the first step was admitting that I am powerless over alcohol and that life had become unmanageable." He paused. "I really realized that when I came to get you at Nikki's, Cam, and I really saw…what I was doing."

"What did you realize, Kyle?"

"I realized that I have not been much of a father lately."

Cameron couldn't help but snort. Three heads whipped in his direction.

"Do you have something to add, Cameron?" Aaron asked him, very diplomatically.

Cameron almost shook his head no. But then it came to him. _He_ wasn't the one that had to be embarrassed. He didn't have to cover up _anything_.

"I just think that's a bit of an understatement, that's all."

"Kyle, do you think his opinion is unfounded?"

Kyle was looking at the ground. He shook his head. "No. No, he's right."

There was a long pause.

"Why don't you tell them about your next steps." Aaron directed.

Kyle took a deep breath. "Alright, so, when I first got here, after I checked in, I went into the chapel and I talked with the priest. And I haven't been very close to God for sometime now, and I realized that if I'm going to try to stay sober, I'm going to need some divine help."

"That was the second step, recognizing that God can help. After I left the chapel, I went back to my room to go to bed, and I stayed awake all night thinking about how it all got so messed up and unmanageable. And I thought about you, Cameron, a lot. And how I didn't want you to think of me as a bad father. So the next morning after I got up, and I _knew_ I had to change, that it was the only way. I went to the chapel and I prayed in earnest for the first time in years, and completed the third step."

Cameron sat there, listening closely. He couldn't help the cynical thoughts and feelings bubbling up to the surface. his father sat there, coming off as such a _saint_. Spewing about how close he was to God now. It was complete B.S., in his opinion.

"Cameron? Rachel? Would either of you like to add anything?" Aaron asked them.

Once again, Cameron resisted his innate urge to hold his tongue.

"I'll just point out that we stopped going to church when I was ten. And the only times I've been since are with friends' families."

"Well, Cameron," Rachel's tone was clipped as she suddenly spoke out. "We stopped attending as a family because when I completed nursing school, I worked the Saturday night shift at the hospital and usually overtime on Sunday mornings, and your _father_ was supposed to take you, but he didn't."

Cameron groaned inwardly. He had forgotten that the whole Church issue was a touchy one.

"So the fact that Cameron wasn't raised going to church is my fault?" Kyle asked, glaring at Rachel. Cameron felt a familiar golf ball feeling in his throat, that one that always seemed to get lodged there whenever he stuck in between them.

"Yes, actually it is, Kyle." Her voice was venomous. "I was working overtime, and the least that _you_ could've done was--"

"Mom, come on--" Cameron tried to intercede.

"I think it's a little late for the blame game, Rachel." Kyle interrupted.

"The blame has to go somewhere, and maybe if you'd taken him to church, this divine intervention could've taken place FOUR years ago and we wouldn't be in a rehab facility because you can't put down the bottle!"

"Dad, Mom--"

"If I remember correctly, four years ago, it was YOU who couldn't put it down!"

"That has nothing to do with this. I was working long hours at the hospital, and you had just so blithely quit the law firm, and _I_ had to pick up all the slack!"

"Enough." Came Aaron's calm voice.

Kyle's mouth--which had been open to retort--immediately closed.

"There are obviously a lot of built up resentments, and we are all here to talk about them, but they are in the past, and if you even want the _hope_ of being able to forgive each other and move forward, you're going to _have_ to stop pointing fingers." Aaron said, his piercing blue eyes scanning their faces.

Rachel let out a shaky breath, and Cameron looked over at her, She was visibly upset. He patted her arm somewhat awkwardly, and she gave him a tremulous smile.

There was a long pause before Aaron spoke again, this time his gaze only on Cameron.

"How would you describe your father when he drinks?" Aaron asked, rolling his Bic between his fingers and looking intently at him. Cameron squirmed a little in his seat, casting a glance at his father before soft of--but not completely--meeting the counselor's eyes. His previous derisive and headstrong attitude vanished. This was the hard part.

"Um...well, he's angry. Really angry."

"And how does he vent his anger, Cameron?"

Cameron this time didn't risk looking at his dad. "He--yells. Yells a lot."

"So he gets angry, and he yells when he consumes alcohol, does he ever get physical?"

"Get physical?" Cameron wondered if he could play dumb.

"Physical violence. It can usually start as something like, I don't know, throwing or breaking something, if you will, and then it escalates to physical abuse, hitting, punching--" Aaron trailed off.

Cameron opened and closed his mouth a few times, and then it occurred to him that he must look like some kind of dim-witted fish. He could feel them all staring at him.

"Cameron?" Aaron prodded.

They were waiting for his response. "Well, um, yeah there's been some of that." he finally said.

"When did your father first hit you, Cameron?" Aaron asked.

And suddenly before he could stop himself or filter what he was saying, he was retelling the story of the day when the entire world seemed to turn upside down.

It was his day off from work at Tiki Squeeze, and he had spent all day at the beach with Nikki and Amber. It had been fun, with the exception of Amber constantly annoying him about getting a haircut, and then Nikki siding with her.

The clock in the living room of his house told him it was 4:05 when he got home. He was locking the front door back when he heard his father call him.

"Cameron, come in here."

He squeezed his eyes closed a second, muttering a few choice profanities under his breath, before proceeding to the kitchen.

"Yeah, Dad?" Cameron asked casually as he walked into the room.

"Where the hell have you been?" Kyle asked in a harsh voice. Cameron was taken back. He could tell he had been drinking, and a glance at the counter top confirmed this. That was never good. Drinking always made him a lot more irritable. And lately, it seemed even more empty bottles lined the counter top at the end of the day.

"I was at the beach, I forgot my phone, sorry..."

Kyle, who had been sitting at the table, abruptly pushed back his chair--hard--so that it crashed to the ground.

Cameron jumped back, startled by his dad's aggression.

"It's not that big of a deal..." Cameron trailed off.

Kyle was stomping toward him, glaring.

"Don't take that insolent tone with me." He growled. "I am your father, don't you _dare_ disrespect me."

Cameron started to leave the room, deciding avoidance was key in this situation.

His dad grabbed hold of his arm, stopping him from leaving the room.

Kyle was squeezing Cameron's arm tightly, as he yelled.

"Do NOT try to walk away from me when I am speaking to you!"

"Dad! Ow! Let go!" Cameron tried to jerk away from his dad, but Kyle kept a firm grip on his upper arm.

"NO! You're going to listen to me when I speak to you, do you understand me, boy?"

"Yes! Dad, I'm sorry! Just stop!" Cameron pleaded, struggling to loosen his father's grip on him.

"Your mother _LEFT_. She_ LEFT _and I am raising you, and you try to walk away when I am speaking to you after leaving without _bothering_ to say where you're going, huh?"

"Dad!"

"You better listen goddamn carefully, Cameron," He was screaming now, his nails digging into Cameron's skin. "You are _NOT_ going to leave. Not like your mother. You will respect me and obey me while you're under _MY_ roof."

His father's grip tightened on his arm. "Dad, let go, please...I'm sorry! Just let go! You're hurting me."

Kyle's clouded green eyes bore into Cameron's.

"I am your father and you will do what I say, _WHEN_ I say it, is that clear?"

"Let go!"

Kyle slapped him across the face. "IS THAT CLEAR?"

Cameron's free hand flew up to his burning cheek.

"Y-yes."

"YES, WHAT?"

"Yes, sir." Cameron amended, tears beginning to blur his vision.

His father let go of his arm, shoving him away so that he collided with the door frame and lost his balance, falling to the ground.

Kyle turned on his heel, stomping out the opposite doorway.

Cameron was in shock as he watched his father leave. He could barely process what had just happened, and he had no idea why his father had just done what he had done. His cheek burned as well as the place on his arm where his father had gripped it, and his shoulder was throbbing from hitting the door frame.

What had just happened?

Cameron finished his story, not daring to look at his dad or Aaron, but as he glanced at his mother, he wished he hadn't. She was struggling to hold back tears.

He suddenly wished he had never told any of them.

It seemed easier to him to just deal with his dad's anger than to cause everyone so much pain. It was too hard to deal with. It was too hard to talk about. It was too hard to _fix_. Talking about it was supposed to make it easier. But it didn't. Not a bit.

"Mom," Cam pleaded. "Please don't cry."

"How can I not?" Rachel asked tearfully. "You didn't tell me, I had no idea. I should've known! I-I--"

She pulled Cameron to her in a tight hug. Cameron felt a lump forming in his throat.

This. Was. Torture.

"There are tissues if you need some, Rachel." Aaron said kindly as Rachel continued to sob. She pulled back from Cameron and reached over to the end table to grab one.

Cameron glanced over at his father, who looked as miserable as Cameron felt.

After a few moments of consoling his mom, Aaron's questions started again.

"Kyle, have you thought that your temper has to do with control issues?" Aaron asked, tilting his head to the side in question.

Kyle shook his head. "I haven't."

"It's been my experience that some alcoholics feel the need to control family members--a spouse, or a child, for example--because they have come to the realization that their drinking is out of control, and controlling someone else almost makes up for it, in a sense."

"Exerting control over your child isn't always such a terrible thing, though." Rachel chimed in. "It's a necessary part of parenting."

"Of course." Aaron agreed. "Setting boundaries and guiding with a firm hand is necessary, but combined with alcoholism, that control morphs into a perverse _nee_d to control, which leads unintentionally to abuse."

They were silent.

"Alright, why don't we talk about some goals we want to accomplish in our sessions." Aaron started, flipping to a new page on his clip board.

"Cameron, is there anything--friends, hobbies, habits--your father disapproves of, that you would like to talk about? Maybe something we can try to resolve?"

He squirmed again. This was one of those touchy subjects he hadn't shared with anyone.

"He doesn't like that I told Nikki about the drinking. So he doesn't want me to see her anymore."

"Who's Nikki?"

"My girlfriend."

"Ah." Aaron glanced at Kyle. "What bothers you about Cameron's relationship with Nikki?"

"He tells her...everything, basically. It makes me uncomfortable, because she'll tell her aunt, who will tell someone else, who will tell someone else, and then all my family affairs are out for the whole town to talk about."

"Then it's not really Nikki or Cameron and Nikki's relationship you're worried about, it's that you don't like Cameron telling others about your home life."

Kyle was silent.

_Serves him right_, Cameron thought to himself.

"So that means we need to work on A) Making your home life and relationship with your son something to not feel ashamed about or worried if he tells others, and B) Respecting Cameron's relationships with his friends." he scribbled this on his clipboard as he told them.

Kyle nodded. "That sounds...about right."

Aaron smiled. "Good. Cameron, what are some other concerns?"

"Dad doesn't like when I go over to my mom's."

Aaron scribbled on his clipboard. "Maybe that goes back to the control, if your relationship develops with your mother, he is less in control of you. We'll work on that. You're half of a two part team, Kyle. Rachel has the same right to be in Cameron's life as you do."

"I know." Kyle sighed, pinching the bridge of the nose. It was a common habit of his when he didn't get his way or when he was uncomfortable. Anytime Cameron saw that little movement, he knew he had something to worry about.

The counselor looked back up at Cameron, urging him to go on.

"It bothers him that I don't play sports like he did. I do the literary magazine and I'm in art at school."

"Cameron's an amazing artist." Rachel added fondly.

Kyle looked cynical. "I didn't say it bothered me, I just thought he should play football or basketball like I did."

"Cameron isn't you, Kyle. He has other interests." Rachel said testily.

"It's not like I've bothered him about it!" Kyle said in an annoyed voice.

This pissed Cameron off.

"Actually, you do. Every year its, '_Why don't you play some ball like me, Cameron?_' or '_How 'bout you put down those sissy books and pencils and go play some touch football?'_ or how about after I went to the tryouts just to make you happy and didn't make it, and you got _pissed _at me? How about every time we go over to Uncle John's, you make a point to comment about how Drew '_knows how to make a father proud_' just because he is captain of the football team?"

Cameron sat there, fuming. Yet no matter if he was masking it in anger, it_ hurt. _He had been desperately seeking his father's approval for _so long_. And yet, everything he did wasn't good enough. He wasn't good enough. Realizing this hurt worse than every single time his dad had laid a hand on him.

"So, Kyle, you need to work on accepting that your son is interested in other activities and you need to stop pestering him about becoming something he's not." Aaron began to scribble on his board again. "Anything you want to add, Cameron?"

_Oh yeah, Dad likes to tell me how worthless I am all the time._

"No."

"Alright then. I think these are some good goals to work on." Aaron stood from his seat. "Healing is what we're aiming for. It's not going to be easy, but I think if we keep having these sessions, it'll be worth it in the end."

_Great. Just great. The magic key was going to be probing through the dysfunctional happenings at the Bale household with both Mom and Dad and this freak of a doctor present._

"Thank you for coming, Rachel." Aaron said, shaking her hand warmly.

His piercing blue eyes landed on Cameron. Up close however, they seemed warm. "You take care, Cameron."

"Thanks." Cam murmured.

"Kyle, if you'll stay, I want to talk to you for a moment." Aaron said.

"Okay." Kyle turned toward Cameron, who was already leaving the room, trying desperately to escape as soon as possible, he put up his hand in a weak wave.

"Bye, Cam."

"Uh, Bye dad. See you." He closed the door quickly behind him. His mom waiting expectantly in the hallway.

He avoided her gaze, starting to walk swiftly in front of her, heading down the hall to the lobby. She kept pace.

"I'm proud of you, Cam, I know this wasn't easy for you."

"Whatever." He quickened his pace, leaving his mom behind him.

Soon the lobby doors were close. He could leave this godforsaken, stupid, stressful rehab center.

The door opened to the waiting room where Nikki sat, and Cameron walked quickly through the door. Nikki opened her mouth to greet him, but closed it as he walked straight past her, headed to the exit doors. Rachel came in a few moments later, looking worried.

She stood and walked over to Cameron's mom.

"Is he okay?" she asked.

Rachel shook her head. "I think he's a little overwhelmed. It was a very--upsetting discussion."

"Do you think I should?" Nikki pointed her head toward the exit. "Or...?"

"Go ahead. He could use a friend, I think. I'll just be a moment, I have to schedule our next session, then we can leave."

Nikki nodded before exiting the lobby doors. Cameron was seated on a low stone garden wall off to the left. She went down the steps of the facility and took a seat next to him on the garden wall. She briefly laid a hand on his back. "You did good, Cam." she said, and then shut up.

They sat silently together outside the rehab facility until Cameron's mom came out of the building and it was time to leave. The three of them piled into the car, and Nikki prepared for the inevitably silent car ride home. Once again, the only sounds were the radio playing inside the car and the tires on the road as they drove.

They turned off the highway to get gas at a Circle K when they were about fifty miles outside Playa Linda.

Rachel pulled up to a pump, and started to rummage in her purse.

"I think I left my debit card at home, I'll have to go inside to pay. Do you kids want anything? A drink, maybe? Do you need to use the restroom?" She asked in a typical, caring, motherly way.

"No thanks, Mrs. Bale, I'm fine."

"Cam?" Rachel asked.

"I'm good."

"Alright, I'll just be a few minutes. Why don't you two get out of the car to stretch your legs?" she suggested in a way that was more like a demand, so they couldn't say no.

Nikki and Cameron slid out of the backseat as Rachel got out of the front seat.

It did feel good to stretch her legs, Nikki had to admit, and to be outside. She'd been stuck inside all day, sitting.

She stretched, glancing over at Cameron, who wore an unhappy expression as he leaned again the trunk.

Nikki leaned on the back of the car next to him. "How did it go?"

He shrugged.

"Come on, Cam, you have to give me something, here." She nudged him a little.

He suddenly turned toward her, uncharacteristic anger on his face.

"No, actually, I don't."

Nikki raised her eyebrows, taken back.

"Maybe I don't want to talk about it. What if I'm tired of talking for today? You could just leave me alone. Did that ever occur to you?"

Nikki was hurt. "You really want me to just leave you alone?"

"Yeah, actually, that'd be great." He spat.

"Why'd you even ask me to come if you were just planning on acting like a jerk to me?"

He didn't answer, staring at the ground in stony silence. Though she hadn't expected an answer, something inside Nikki snapped ad she lost all her patience with him.

"You know, Cameron, I'm really trying to be supportive of you, so forgive me if I ask you how you're doing, and, fine, you don't feel like talking? Whatever. But don't lash out at me and act all passive aggressive when all I'm trying to do is help."

Nikki stood there, looking up at him, an intense glare on her face. Cameron's mom came back out of the gas station, oblivious to the argument she was interrupting.

"Okay, kids, I'm just going to gas up and we'll be back home before you know it." She said cheerfully. Nikki managed a fake smile.

"Cool." she shot a look at Cameron before adding, "We couldn't get back soon enough." And then she slid into the backseat.

Cameron didn't join her until his mom returned to the driver's seat.

They spent the rest of the car ride staring out their separate windows. Nikki was sitting as far away from Cameron as the seat would allow, her arms and legs crossed tightly and her body angled away from him.

After the longest 45 minutes of her life, they pulled up in front of her house. She quickly unfastened her seat belt, pushing the car door open milliseconds after they'd stopped in front of her house.

"Bye, Mrs. Bale." Nikki said in a rush, her hand on the door as she leaned in to say good-bye.

"Thank you for coming with us dear, we both appreciate it." she said sweetly.

Nikki smiled at her before flickering her eyes to meet Cameron's for only a moment. "Bye, Cameron." She closed the car door, thankful to be home.

Inside the car, Rachel was looking expectantly at her son. "Aren't you going to walk her?"

Cameron groaned inwardly before getting out of the car, hurrying to catch up to Nikki, who was halfway up the stairs to the house.

She turned to face him as he caught up to her. "Do you need something?"

Cameron shook his head. "I'm just walking you."

Nikki turned around in silence, continuing to her door.

He was close behind. Once he reached the door, she turned to look up at him.

"I'll see you, Cam."

"Uh, yeah." He didn't meet her gaze, one hand shoved in his jeans pocket, the other brushing his bottom lip nervously. "Bye then." he turned on heel and quickly went don the steps to his car.

Nikki watched him go, before turning back to her front door. She let herself in. She shut the door behind her and leaned back on it.

She had _not _expected the day to end like this.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Here it is! Chapter 10! Finally! I'm very very sorry for the wait. I'll be shocked if anyone actually reads or reviews this because its been SO long since I last updated, so I don't actually deserve any readers. :) Yet all it seems I ever do is apologize for how long it takes me to update. My only justification for this is that its a crucial chapter, so I did want to make it as well-written and realistic as I possibly could, and I hope it doesn't disappoint!**

**ANYWAY. Thank you all so much for sticking with this story. I'm going to try to get it finished and do it justice, because I hate leaving things undone or doing them half-assed. Leave me a review, so I know if you all hate me after this chapter!**

**Love,**

**Chris Grace**


	12. Chapter 11

**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Eleven**

"Hey Nik, could you bring out some more boxes to the patio, please?"

Jay's voice interrupted Nikki's afternoon for the half dozenth time. She dropped her magazine on the table and gave up in defeat.

"One sec." she called back, climbing off the couch. For the past hour, she'd been unsuccessfully trying to relax. Since she had returned from Santa Palma, almost a week ago, the entire house had been in an uproar.

The news of the new AvaG boutique had switched from giddy excitement mode to over-stressed, hard work mode. Susannah and Ava were busy packing up the upstairs, meeting with the Realtor for the final arrangements, and planning the renovations inside the shop. To top it off, Ava's fall line was underway, yet horribly behind schedule.

And then, Jay got to announce his big news.

Isobel was expecting his baby, and he would be moving in with her immediately.

Needless to say, the house was in chaos. Cardboard boxes lined the walls of the living room, either belonging to her aunt's business or Jay. The daily chores were being largely ignored by the adults, and Nikki spent the past few days pitching in to help out.

She went into the garage, grabbing as many boxes as she could carry, and proceeded in taking them out to the patio. Jay and Johnny were packing up the boat house.

"Here." Nikki dumped the boxes on the patio table.

"Thanks, Nikki." Johnny said gratefully as he emerged from Jay's room, wiping his sweaty forehead. "You know, you should really take a break. You've been helping out a lot, why don't you call up Cameron and escape this bedlam for a few hours?"

Nikki turned away from Johnny, taking a box from the patio table and folding it out. She shrugged. "Maybe, but I think he's busy."

Johnny was taping up an already packed box, "Huh, well I haven't seen him around in a few days. What's he up to?" He asked her, setting the box on top of another sitting on the patio.

Nikki shrugged again, concentrating on taping up the bottom of the newly constructed cardboard box. "Just...stuff." she quickly changed the subject. "So, I think I might go the bookstore or library or something, so if Aunt Ava asks, you can tell her, okay?"

"Sure." He took the box Nikki had made and tucked it under his arm. "Go, get out of here, and try to have some fun."

She grinned, "I'll try. See you later." she waved and went inside the house.

She went upstairs to grab her purse and cell phone. Johnny was right, she _did_ need out of the uproar of her household. Ava's business moving to a more permanent location by itself would turn the house upside down, but add in Jay's big announcement, and the results were less than relaxing.

It was typically sweltering as she walked to the library. The heat from the concrete of the sidewalk radiated through the soles of her sandals and the relentless sun beat down on her bare shoulders. A week had slipped by since she accompanied Cam to Santa Palma--and since their showdown outside the gas station. Though both too stubborn and proud to call him first, Nikki had to admit--just to herself, of course--that she missed him, and was worried about him.

And yet, he seemed too stubborn and proud to call her, as well.

She sighed. Of course, she could never turn off her over-active mind. She could only imagine the worst of Cameron's family therapy session--yelling, tears, hostility. She was weary just thinking about how bad it probably was. Not that she knew for sure, considering Cameron hadn't bothered to call her in a week.

She finally reached the Playa Linda Public Library. She was eager to bury her mind in the troubles of some bygone heroine of yesteryear. Anything--Austen, Bronte, Tolstoy--would be better than her own saga.

The inside of the building was a 180 from outside. The air conditioning was on full blast, the temperature change raising goosebumps on her bare arms the moment she stepped inside. She walked to the familiar section of the library, the classic literature. A place she often dragged Cameron when--

_Stop_, she told herself. _No more obsessive Cameron thoughts_.

Frustrated with herself, she tugged the first book she saw off of the shelf. _Great Expectations_, by Charles Dickens. Engrossed in the synopsis of the novel in her hands, she found it was awfully depressing. Dickens' twisted characters were not her number one choice for lighthearted reading. She put it back on the shelf and moved down the shelf.

She picked another, _North and South_. She had heard of it before, and it looked pretty interesting. She took the book and went to the armchair in a secluded corner of the library.

Soon, she was wrapped in the story of the heroine Margaret. It was a nice distraction from her own life, being caught up in 19th Century England. Her focus was solely on the novel and its plot so she didn't notice someone approach behind her.

"Hi." a voice said behind her. Startled, Nikki glanced up to find Cameron standing to her left. She was surprised to see him, all things considered.

She closed the book in her hands. "Um, hey." This was awkward, for them.

"Johnny told me you might be here. Can we go outside and talk?" His voice was low, to keep from alerting the librarians.

She nodded, setting the book down in the chair and following him through the library. Once outside, he led her to the sidewalk before he turned to speak to her.

"Nik," he reached out and touched her elbow for a second. "I'm sorry, okay? I acted like a jerk to you."

She wasn't sure what to say, except to agree with him. "Yeah, you did."

"Look, I just..." he paused. "I'm not used to this." He motioned between them. "I keep things bottled up. I've had to. Trying to talk about it...it's weird."

Peering up at him, she spoke. "Okay."

He looked expectant, but she didn't say anything more.

"I'm...I'm trying to let you in. I want to talk and tell you things, it's just taking awhile."

They stood on the sidewalk in the bright sunlight. Cameron was waiting for a response, trying to read her expression. He looked uncharacteristically serious standing there in his khaki shorts and red t-shirt. This was a breakthrough she had waited for.

"You know, Cam," Nikki broke the silence between them. "When we met, you know what made me like you instantly?"

Cameron looked thrown off and a little confused. "No...what?"

"When I came to Playa Linda, right after my mom and dad died, everyone would ask me about why I moved here, and when I told them, they immediately shied away from me after saying how sorry they were." She paused. "But when I met you, and you asked why I had moved here, do you remember what I said?"

"No."

"I said I didn't want to talk about it." she told him, "And you told me if I ever wanted to tell you, you'd listen, and then you dropped the subject and asked me if I wanted to be your partner in the three-legged race." She finished. "You have no idea how grateful I was that you didn't prod anyway."

She locked eyes with him, holding his gaze steady. "So, if you don't really want to talk about everything, I'll step back. But if you want to talk to me, I'm here."

It took a lot to resist her natural urge to push for answers and explanations. But if that's what Cameron needed and wanted through all of this, she would hold back. Her signature character flaw was being a tad too inquisitive about most things, but she was willing to suppress it for his benefit.

"Cameron, I don't want to force you to let me in. I don't really want to be that person. I want you to want to talk to me." Vulnerability wasn't his forte--but it definitely wasn't hers either. "I don't want to push you, Cam."

He was shaking his head. "Nikki, you _have _to push me."

"Do I?" she asked, taken back.

He nodded. "Nik," he seemed desperate to explain. "I've finally had to admit things to myself, to my mom. I owe it to you, I need to talk."

She was struck by how odd it was, that they seemed to have switched places. He was the one pushing for more communication, and she was the one resisting.

"Alright." she said, after a pause. She held out a hand to him. "Let's talk."

An hour later they were at Playa Linda Park, near Cameron's mom's house. They sat side by side on the swing set. Cameron started to tell her all about the therapy session from the week before. Nikki had to resist the urge to interrupt him and ask questions, instead letting him say what he needed to. It was one of the only times he opened up to her completely. So often he kept things to himself, but finally he was letting her in.

"...and then, I stormed out of the building." He stopped his story. "And, you know the rest."

She nodded, letting the story sink in. It was worse than she imagined. He had admitted more things that made her skin crawl--the first time Kyle laid a hand on him, among other things.

"I'm sorry all of this happened, Cam. Really. I wish you didn't have to tell me any of this, but I'm glad you did." Her response was insufficient, but she couldn't think of anything else to say. A rarity, for her.

"It was a lot to talk about. I wasn't prepared for how overwhelming it was going to be."

She nodded, gripping the metal chains of the swing tightly. She sunk her bare feet in the sand. "So, what's next? Are you going to go again?"

"I actually called him on the phone, two days after the visit."

Nikki glanced over at him, surprised. "Really? What did you say?"

He looked embarrassed. "I didn't really talk. I yelled." he paused, "A lot."

She raised her eyebrows. "You...yelled?"

"Kind of, yeah." he admitted sheepishly.

"How'd that approach work out for you?"

"Good, actually. I think it made my dad shut up and listen to me, finally." He shrugged. "There are some things you don't need a counselor to help you say."

"Like what?"

"Like...'Dad, I'm mad at you. I'm pissed because you treat me like shit and make me feel like shit. If you won't stop, I'll cut you out of my life for good.'"

Nikki didn't respond, instead gripping the chains of her swing harder, studying Cameron's profile.

"Would you?" She finally asked.

He shrugged again. "I-" he faltered. "I don't know, it's hard to explain. Maybe its an empty threat on my part, but...maybe not. I'm mad as hell at him, Nikki." He looked over at her. "I know I already said it, but I am so _mad_." He kicked at the sand beneath his swing angrily before continuing to explain himself.

"The past two years haven't been easy, and its been hard for me to admit everything was so messed up at home. I just want him to know that me forgiving him isn't going to be easy, he's going to have to work for it. Its going to take more than rehab for me to trust him again."

She nodded. "You're..." she stopped, searching for the right words. "Cam, you've been really brave. I don't know if I'd be able to handle it, like you have."

He shrugged. "I don't think so. I've had to do what I've had to do, I guess." he paused before adding, "That doesn't make me brave."

She shook her head. "Not everyone is that strong, but you are."

"Yeah, well..." He shrugged, before changing the subject. "I saw him yesterday. I had to go to another one of those family things."

"Really?" Cam just kept the surprises coming. "How did it go? Better than last time, I hope."

"The actual therapy part sucked, of course. It was more or less the same. He's, well, not enjoying himself, but I thinks it has really helped him. I'm cautiously optimistic."

"Cautiously optimistic" coming from Cameron meant a lot. It was the first spark of hope Nikki had seen in awhile. He didn't look nearly as stressed as he had, for one. He continued talking.

"We went for a walk together, just us. It was weird at first. But then he started telling me about how much he wants us to go back to how things were. It was kind of...nice." He seemed embarrassed. "I hope I'm not completely naive to believe a word he says, but--" his sentence trailed off.

"He's your dad." Nikki finished for him. "Of course you want to believe the best."

"Yeah." he nodded. "I do."

His statement hung in the air between them as they sat on the swings side by side. Nikki wanted to let him know it would all be okay, but she couldn't bring herself to utter those empty words. Neither of them knew what was going to happen, so she refrained from muttering the less than confident half promise.

"Let's go back to my house. It's way too hot outside."

"Okay." She agreed.

He stood up from the swing, stretching. His mom's house was only a short walk down the block from the park, luckily, because the Playa Linda heat was suffocating. Nikki was longing for the comfort of Cam's air conditioned house.

"So, you went by my house?" she asked him, getting up from her swing. They began to walk.

"Yeah. I saw Bradin. Erika was there, and a bunch of boxes. Is she moving in or something?"

"Nope, But she might as well. She's there all the time now. Yesterday morning, I walked in on them asleep. Let's just say there was a clothes trail on the floor." she confided in him.

"TMI." He grimaced.

"I know."

Erika and Bradin were being smart enough to keep their relationship on the DL for the time being. Jay was devoted to Isobel, yes, but it was still a sore subject around the house.

"What does Jay think about that? It's got to be awkward."

"Jay, of all people, went and announced a few days that he and his girl thing, Isobel--who he has been seeing for all of a month--are expecting a baby together, and he's moving in with her."

Cam let out a low whistle. "Jay? A father? Wow."

Nikki nodded. "I know. Strange world we live in, huh?"

He laughed. "At least someone is moving out for a change, instead of another person moving in or something like that."

"Agreed. The house is already filled to capacity. I think Johnny is going to move into the boathouse after Jay is gone. He's been crashing on the couch for the past couple of weeks."

"So I take it he and your aunt are still dancing around each other?"

"Yep. I think they're moving toward some kind of relationship, though. I woke up late a couple of nights ago to get a bottle of water, and they were up talking."

"Late night talks. Good sign." Cam commented.

"Definitely." Nikki agreed. She got a large thrill at the thought of Johnny being her official uncle someday. "They are so perfect for each other, you know? I wish they could just see it. Then they'd be so much happier."

Nikki recognized the house as they approached, though she'd only been there once. The gray house was small, but homey and nice. Cameron led her up the walkway and let them inside.

"Is your mom home?" She hadn't seen her car parked outside the house.

"Nope, she's at work."

"Are you thirsty? I think we have some lemonade my mom made last night." He asked.

"Yeah, sure, that sounds great." She followed him into his kitchen.

Cameron opened up the fridge, extracting a pitcher. "The cups are in that cabinet." He pointed to one near Nikki, setting the pitcher on the counter top. She grabbed two glasses and handed them to him.

"Do you want anything to eat?" he asked, pouring them each tall glasses of lemonade.

"Nah, I'm not hungry right now."

"Neither am I. Come on, let's go to my room." He had both of their drinks in his hands. "I got guitar hero, have you ever played before?"

"Cam, I don't play video games." She replied, following him down the hallway to his room.

He laughed. "Hey, it was worth asking." He pushed open the door to his room with his foot. "I promise it is way more Nikki-friendly than Grand Theft Auto."

"I think every video game is more me-friendly than Grand Theft Auto." she plopped down on his bed. He set the glasses of lemonade on the nightstand and started to fiddle with his PlayStation by the TV. He set up the game and the credits began. He came back over to the bed, handing the miniature guitar to Nikki.

"Here," he slipped the strap over her head. "This is the controller." He showed her the keys, and how to strum.

"You get more points if you use the whammy bar, too." He showed her the metal bar at the bottom of the guitar. Cameron set up the tutorial mode for her.

"So when I note comes toward you, hit it and strum." He instructed. "Slow Ride is an easy song."

The first note came slowly toward her, but she missed it. And then the next one.

"Wow, I suck." she said with a grimace. "I can't do this." She tried to hit the green button and strum, but she missed yet another note. She tensed as another note came toward her, and, again, she missed it.

"Okay, Nik," he watched as she messed up on another note. "You're being too tense, you're playing a video game. Loosen up."

"I'm _not_ tense." she objected futilely, but she knew she was. She missed another note.

"Loosen up!" He clasped her shoulders and playfully shook her.

"Stop, Cam!" she she protested, but then started to laugh. And then she hit her first note.

"See?" Cameron said, with a grin. Nikki hit another note. "You're getting it."

She missed a lot of notes, but hit a lot of them, too. Soon she was singing along with the music.

"Oh, this_ is _kind of cool." she said with a grin, after finishing the song. "Definitely better than that time you made me play Grand Theft Auto."

"Want to see me play?" He asked.

"If you must show off and impress me, go ahead." She rolled her eyes, handing him the guitar. He put the strap over his shoulders and went back to the menu, selecting the hard mode.

He picked a Kiss song off the list of music. As the song began, Nikki _was_ impressed.

"Wow! It's so fast." She watched as Cameron hit all the notes--even the orange one. He acted as if it were the most normal thing in the world. He cracked a grin.

"Jealous?" He asked playfully.

"No. You're just a show off."

"Only for you." He replied cheekily.

Cameron finished her song and let Nikki try--on easy, of course. She failed after attempting Slow Ride the first time, but then managed to squeak by. Then they tried multiplayer, Cameron generously let Nikki use the guitar and pick the song. She was by no means even mediocre, but as she relaxed she found she was able to hit most of the notes, on the easy songs, at least.

After over an hour of playing, she finally had to admit she was having fun.

"Okay, so I really like this game." She told Cameron, after successfully playing Rock n' Roll All Night.

"What? _Nikki Westerly_ likes a video game?" He appeared shocked. "Has_ hell_ frozen over?"

"I guess so." she said, grinning in spite of herself.

"I'm going to go put up the glasses, and I'm going to call and see when my mom will be home from work." He climbed off the bed and grabbed the empty lemonade glasses. "Do you want anything?"

She shook her head. "No thanks. I'm going to attempt to pass that Poison song."

He laughed. "Good luck." She had already tried it a couple of times,and to no avail.

She took Cameron's advice and relaxed. Instead of anticipating the notes, she just let them creep up without thinking about them, and was able to hit them.

She finished her song, barely passing, but passing all the same. Her arm was cramped from holding the guitar at an awkward angle. She set the guitar down on the bed, and laid back on the bed, propping her head up on her arms, closing her eyes. She took a deep breath and relaxed into the mattress.

"Getting sleepy?" A voice asked from the doorway.

Her eyes popped open. "Not really," she replied. "Just thinking, is all."

"That's never good." He said with a half grin, approaching her. He laid down on the bed next to her, rolling on to his side to face her. She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. "So, what's on your ever churning mind?" he asked her, propping himself up on one elbow and looking down at her.

"Are you excited about next year?" she questioned him, rather than answering him directly. She met his gaze.

He shrugged. "Sure. It's good to be out of junior high, I feel like I should be in high school already, to tell you the truth."

"Me too. I can't wait to just jump in and get everything started, you know?"

"You sound like a nerd, Nik, I'm not going to lie." he teased playfully.

"Hey, that's not fair!" She protested, rolling off her back and onto her side, to face him. "It's not like I'm super excited for learning Geometry, or something, I just want to meet new people and make some new friends."

"Yeah, whatever you say." He grinned. "You know Amber is going to have a field day chasing all the upperclassmen around."

Nikki groaned. "You know what sucks? You're completely right."

"We should take bets on how many guys she dates." he quipped.

"I'm thinking she'll only actually date a couple, but she'll definitely Facebook stalk all the others. She is as boy crazy as they come."

"And what about you?" Cameron asked, raising his eyebrows. "Should I handcuff you to me so no one steals you away?"

"Hey, there's no need." she grinned. "And unless Jeb becomes straight, I doubt you have anything to worry about. Now, me, on the other hand..."

"_You _don't have anything to worry about, either." his tone was lighthearted, but his bright blue eyes were serious. "I would choose you over any girl any day of the week."

Her heart fluttered in her chest. He'd left out the "high school" qualification she'd left in her own statement a couple of months before. She leaned over and kissed him softly on his mouth.

_I love you_, she was screaming to say it in her mind, but kept it from coming out of her mouth.

"Let's make high school great, okay? But let's do it together."

"Okay." He smiled, holding out his pinkie. "No Jeb?"

"No Jeb." She agreed, clasping pinkies with him. He smiled again, exposing the cute gap in his teeth. He leaned over and kissed her. She wrapped an arm around his neck and kissed him back, zealously. She felt a lot less guarded than she usually was, she held him tightly and kissed him eagerly. Every little thing about him when they were together drove it home in her mind--she was in love.

A sharp shiver shot down her spine and she snuggled closer to him. Cameron's intense kisses slowed to a more tender pace. He kissed her softly one final time before pulling away. She curled up closer to him, still keeping her arms wrapped around him.

"This is nice." Her voice was muffled in his shirt. They were rarely alone, it seemed to her.

"Mmhmm." he agreed. She could hear the steady pace of his heartbeat through his shirt, so even and constant. Her eyes slid closed. He twirled a strand of her hair around his fingers. She loved when he played with her hair. She felt so peaceful and relaxed. She was still basking in the glow of Cameron's earlier words, _I would choose you over any girl any day of the week_.

Did that mean he truly loved her, then? Was it possible that he felt just as strongly for her as she felt for him? Or was it true that girls naturally just fell harder, faster? She couldn't bring herself to accept that as fact. He had to feel strongly about her, otherwise why was he making the effort to let her in on his deepest, most difficult times in his life?

Perhaps she didn't know the extent of the strength of his feelings for her, but for now, just being with him, was good enough.

* * *

**Authors Note: **

**Hi! Long time no see. I'm a terrible, procrastinating, mean fanfic writer. I know this is true. I have neglected YAMR, but I'll have you know--a day doesn't pass when I don't think of this story or of where it is going. I'm excited for the upcoming chapters, and it makes me SO happy to still receive reviews. I know Summerland ended a long time ago, but it gives me hope when you guys keep reviewing. There's so much more for Cameron and Nikki in my upcoming chapters, and I can't wait to finish their story. I have gone back a revamped this story (I know I've said this before) so I suggest, if you get the time, to go back and reread it. It's much better the second time. **

**So, I have to ask, do you like where the story has been going? I'm anxious to hear from you, my reader. Thank you for continuing with this story, and I hope it makes your day that much more enjoyable. :)**

**THANK YOU: fictiongirl101, back2tennessee, hkcjphillips, Cynthia1993, hollywOOdgrrl, Jess, Kaeti, xEMAZZAxGURLx44, Annbeau, Drowning-In-Your-Eyes, KaitieAngel911, &&& ANONYMOUS!  
**

**Love,**

**Chris Grace  
**


	13. Chapter 12

**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Twelve  
**

Cameron was sitting at his mom's kitchen table, absentmindedly stirring his cheerios. It was going on eight in the morning, but he'd been lying awake in his bed for hours before deciding to get up. He was exhausted, but couldn't achieve more than a fitful doze throughout the night.

His mom entered the kitchen, already dressed for work in her scrubs.

"Up already, honey?" she asked, surprised to see him conscious so early in the morning.

"I've been up for awhile." Cameron replied.

Rachel poured herself a cup of coffee from the pot Cameron had already brewed. She took a seat at the table next to her son.

"Well, Happy fourth of July." she offered. She was working back to back shifts, late into the night, so they wouldn't be spending the holiday together.

"Yeah, Happy Fourth." he muttered back, swirling the cereal around in his bowl. He didn't feel particularly festive today. It had even crossed his mind that he should try to get out of the cookout he planned to attend with Nikki that night.

"What time do you work?" His mom asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"Eight thirty." Cameron had finally gotten a new job since he was fired from Tiki Squeeze. His mom's best friend, his Aunt Candace, had hired him at her bakery, Amelie's. Today would be his second day of work.

"You didn't sleep much, did you?" she asked abruptly.

"I slept fine." Cameron said tersely.

"No, you didn't." She took a sip of her coffee. "You're just like your father. If you don't get enough sleep, you wear it on your face."

"I'm _nothing_ like him." He said firmly, dropping his spoon with a clatter, glaring at his mother. "When dad doesn't get enough sleep, you can usually tell from the number of empty bottles on the coffee table the next morning."

"Cameron..." His mom said softly. "You know I didn't mean it that way."

He didn't reply, staring at the wood grain of the table stonily. He felt bad for taking out his anger on other people. He felt like such a hypocrite. He was like his dad. He had a temper, one that threatened to burst on anyone near him when he was upset. Usually, he was pretty good at controlling his anger. Lately, though, he couldn't seem to manage it. He wasn't even mad at his mom, but he was still fighting with her.

"What's wrong, Cameron?" she asked quietly. She wasn't prodding him, she sat in silence, waiting patiently for his answer.

"When dad gets home, I..." he trailed off, finding it hard to form his thoughts into words. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

"What do you mean?" His mom's voiced was so caring, so concerned. He felt guilty for causing her so much pain.

"Before..." He paused again, unsure of himself. "I couldn't talk to you about it. I couldn't talk to anyone. Now I'm talking to you, to Nikki, to the therapist. When dad gets back, he's going to need me to be supportive, too. How can I still be open with everyone else once dad is back? I feel like I'm going to have to choose."

Rachel was silent. Cameron swallowed the lump in his throat. This dilemma had been eating at him since the last visit to Santa Palma. He was ready for his dad to be his dad again. But he was scared that that meant he couldn't be close to his mom anymore. Or even Nikki.

"Part of your dad coming back is that he's going to have to respect your life, Cameron." She spoke carefully. "That's what Dr. Neilson has been trying to help him with."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then Cameron, you have to promise me, if you have even a feeling that your dad is slipping into his old habits, you have to tell me."

Cameron gulped, avoiding his mother's eyes. He didn't think he could handle this again. Really and truly, the thought of _more_ yelling, _more_ hitting, _more _therapy made him sick to his stomach. There couldn't _be _a next time. Because he couldn't do this anymore.

"I promise." Cameron finally said.

Rachel just nodded, briefly covering his hand with her own.

"What's brought this all on, sweetie? The last couple of days, you've been talking to your dad on the phone and even a little optimistic about it. What changed?"

Moms were too observant.

"I--" he stopped and began again. "On the phone last night, Dad said he might be coming home in about a week."

Rachel let out a deep breath. "We knew this was coming, Cam. Dr. Nielson said your dad is nearing the end of his inpatient treatment. But he's still going to be going to day treatment once a week, we're going to be going to the therapist here in town, too. Your dad is going to join AA. And if you want, I can look up Alanon and Alateen meetings--" she trailed off.

"That seems excessive." Cameron said dryly, but with a slight smile.

Rachel patted his hand. "If excess is what it takes." she smiled at him, ruffling his hair. "And you have your life, too, Cameron. Your friends, Nikki, your new job, school. This doesn't have to consume your whole life."

"I know." Cameron said, giving in. His mom always had a way of spinning things so they seemed better for everyone. Out of all of this, he'd gained his mother, once again. She'd failed him the past few years. But just in the past few weeks, she had more than redeemed herself.

She took another long gulp of her coffee before setting her mug down on the table.

"How about this, I'll drive you to work on the way to the hospital, and we can finish talking on the way." She smiled, "How does that sound?"

Somehow, she had a way of making him feel better that could only be attributed to one fact: she was his mom.

"Sure, mom, that sounds great."

* * *

A bell chimed as Nikki entered the small bakery in the Laurelwood shopping center. Cameron stood behind the counter, ringing up an older woman at the register.

"Could I also get some extra napkins?" The woman asked Cameron, handing him her money.

"Yes, ma'am, no problem." he deposited her bill into the register and counted out the change. He hadn't noticed Nikki's presence yet. She glanced around the bakery as she waited for him to finish.

Nikki had heard of Amelie's, of course, as it was easily the most poplar and best bakery in town, but she'd never been inside. Aunt Ava had ordered her wedding cake from there months previously--and even though the wedding itself was a disaster, the cake was delicious.

The bakery was cozy, with soft lighting and plush, French inspired decor. Inside smelled incredible; every time Nikki inhaled, her nostrils were filled with the scent of fresh croissants. Cameron's "Aunt" Candace, his mom's best friend, owned it. Her parents, French immigrants, had opened it shortly after coming to Playa Linda. She had known none of this, of course, until Cameron had told her about his new job over the phone several days before.

Nikki approached the counter as the customer exited the shop.

"Hey." His face broke out into a grin. "What's going on?"

"I just wanted to see when you got off. I was helping out at AvaG and thought I'd stop by."

Both Amelie's and AvaG were in the upscale Laurelwood shopping center, located on Laurel Linda Drive.

"Um," Cameron checked his watch. It was 1:43. "In about..fifteen, twenty more minutes. You want to wait?"

She nodded as the bell chimed, signaling another customer. "I'll wait outside."

"Hey, hold on a sec." Cameron said, holding up a finger. He busied himself behind the glass case, pulling out a pastry.

"Pain au chocolat." he said, slipping it into a small paper bag for her. "It's on me. Happy Fourth of July."

She raised an eyebrow, grinning at his flawless French pronunciation. "Sounds fancy. Celebrating Independence day a la France."

"Yeah, basically. It's just a croissant with melted chocolate inside." He explained, handing her the bag. "You'll like it."

"Oh, yum." She accepted the parcel, digging in her pockets for a few dollar bills before dropping them in the tip jar. "Merci."

"Um...De nada?"

She laughed. "See you in a bit."

She turned and exited the small bakery just as two more customers entered. Outside, there were several tables on a small patio facing the busy boardwalk. She sat down at a table under the store's awning.

She pulled the pastry out from the bag and took a bite. Cameron was right on the dot. It was delicious.

As she munched on the croissant, she read the laminated card on the table, which explained how Amelie's began and soon became one of Playa Linda's most successful businesses. There was a black and white photo of a woman posing by a small shop, a hand painted sign behind her. The bakery was named after Candace's mother, according to the caption.

The history was quaint and interesting. Overall, the shop seemed very charming, definitely a good place for Cam to work. After about ten minutes, Cameron came outside, the bell on the door chiming as he folded up his apron and shoved it in his backpack.

Nikki stood up as he approached. They hugged in greeting.

"How'd you like your pastry?" He asked, his grin exposing the gap in his teeth.

"It was heaven." She admitted. "I think I'm going to like your working here."

He laughed. "Me, too. It's a lot better than Tiki Squeeze. Better customers, better tipping. And it isn't such a madhouse throughout the day."

"Well, I'm glad you like it, then."

"I do like it, and that's pretty shocking if you ask me."

"So the cookout starts at 5:00, are you still going to come?" Nikki asked hopefully.

Cameron hesitated, but only briefly. Earlier, he'd been upset. But since the morning, his mood had improved considerably.

"Of course." He said easily.

"Do you want to walk down to AvaG? Aunt Ava just stopped by the office for a little bit to pick up some papers. Then we're going back to the house to get ready for the party."

"Okay, sure." He said with a nod. "Is Amber coming?" They got up from the patio table and began down the pathway through the plaza.

"She should be." Nkki answered. "But she has a new boy toy. So either he's tagging along, or she'll probably ditch the cookout at some point to hang out with him."

"Wait, when did this happen?" Cameron asked, confused.

"A couple of days ago. He's a sophomore, and she's obsessed." She grinned.

"Oh, of course she is."

They walked a little farther down the plaza, before Nikki stopped.

"Here it is." Nikki nodded toward the signless shop. "They're going to expand the window, sometime next week." She pulled open the door. "There's a lot left to do, before it's ready to open."

They stepped into the shop, which smelled strongly of paint. The front room was still an ugly yellow, but there was paint tape along the trim. The middle room, which would be the showroom, had newly laid laminate flooring, but also had unpainted walls.

"Aunt Ava?" Nikki called out, as they entered the office. The room had fresh paint on the walls as well as a new floor. Her aunt sat behind a desk.

"Oh, hey, guys." She shuffled some papers into a manila folder. "I'm almost ready to go. Are you coming to the cookout, Cameron?"

"I am. Thanks for inviting me, Miss Gregory."

Ava smiled. "You know you're always welcome."

"The place looks great so far, don't you think, Cam?" Nikki asked him. "Yesterday, Johnny came in and put in the light fixtures and ceiling fans."

"It looks awesome. Just pick a day, and you can put Nikki and me to work on the painting."

Nikki nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, Aunt Ava. We'll help paint."

"That's sweet of you." She stood up from the desk. "I think I'm done here. You two ready to leave?"

"Yep, let's go." Nikki said.

After Ava closed up the shop, they piled into her car. They were on the way to the beach house to prepare for the Fourth of July entire crew would be there, of course--Aunt Ava, Johnny, Susannah, Jay and Isobel, Bradin and Erika. As well as other friends, colleagues, and neighbors.

So far, it was smooth sailing for Bradin and Jay. Erika and Bradin were official, but it didn't seem to bother Jay a bit.

Jay seemed ridiculously happy to be with Isobel. He called every so often, and Nikki had talked to him on the phone the day before. Business at the shop was good, and he was happy to be living with Isobel and her son. The house was a lot quieter without him, for sure. There were no plans to find a new roommate. Since Johnny had moved back in, space was a valuable commodity.

Once arriving at the house, they were recruited for a variety of tasks. They were sent into the garage to drag out the tiki torches, chairs, and the spare cooler. Ava and Susannah kept them busy right up until the doorbell rang, twenty minutes early, signaling the arrival of the first guests. Luckily, the early birds were just Jay, Isobel and Danny. The house was in such a frenzy, Ava even set Jay to work, as if he still lived there.

Within the next half hour, all of the guests had arrived. The back patio and beach were teeming with guests. Getting it together was chaotic and unorganized, of course, but in the end they managed to pull off a great party.

Johnny was expertly manning the grill while Ava mingled with the guests. Nikki spotted Susannah with her on-again boyfriend, Matt. Bradin was sitting with Jay a little ways off, and Nikki noticed they had a confidential air about them. Cameron, Amber, and she were sitting at the picnic table, eating. She tapped Cameron on the shoulder.

"Look." She pointed them out. "I wonder what they're talking about."

He shrugged. "At least they're talking, I guess." He took a bite of his hot dog.

"Look's like Colby is doing some talking, too." Amber said, nodding toward Colby chatting with another man. Earlier, Ava had introduced him to Nikki, he was her utterly flamboyant former colleague from when she worked for Ian Strauss.

Nikki had to grin, shaking her head.

"Amber, are you still texting your new boyfriend?" Cameron asked Amber, who, of course, was busy on her cell phone...again. The evening had barely started when Amber told them all about Justin, the guy new she was infatuated with.

"He's not," Amber flipped her phone shut. "_My boyfriend_. He's my friend boy, and we are just hanging out." she said simply, plucking a chip off Cameron's plate and munching on it.

"Whatever." Cameron rolled his eyes. "When you're exclusively making out with one person, I think it's a little more than hanging out."

"We are working toward exclusive. There's a difference. I have to make sure he's worth it before I actually commit to anything." She stole another chip, and interrupted Cameron's protest by continuing. "I'm young. And I don't have to be exclusive with anyone, unlike you two, you old married couple."

Now it was Nikki's turn to roll her eyes. Amber and she had such completely different views on so many things, relationships being one of them.

Amber's cell phone chimed once again. She flipped it open and began rapidly texting.

Nikki stood from her seat. "I'm going to get another drink. Do you want anything?" She asked them.

"More chips? Please?" Cameron asked, hopeful. Nikki had to laugh.

"Okay, I'll be back."

As Nikki left the table, Amber shut her phone once again. She stole another chip off Cameron's plate, but this time he didn't even bother to complain.

"So...how're things, Cam?" she asked him, her blue eyes bore into his own.

"Things are..." he paused. "Better. How much do you know?" He asked sheepishly.

"I know that your dad's in rehab and you're at your mom's. For once, Nikki didn't elaborate." Amber said with a rueful smile.

Cameron nodded, grateful Nikki hadn't spilled the details. Slowly, but surely, he was learning he could trust her entirely. "That about sums it up." He said, he rubbed his lip nervously.

"And how are you? Staying at your mom's can't really be much better." She commented.

For a second, he was confused, before it clicked in his mind. Amber still thought the worst about his mother.

"No." He shook his head. "My mom isn't like that anymore, really."

Amber's eyebrows shot up. "Well, it's about damn time."

Cameron nodded in agreement. "She's been great, though."

"Then I'm happy for you, really, Cameron." Her voice was sincere. "When does your dad get home?"

"A week from now. He told me so on the phone last night."

"You ready?"

"Hopefully." He answered truthfully.

"Hopefully, what?" Nikki asked, reappearing. She sat down next to Cameron once again, handing him a plate of chips.

"Hopefully Amber will keep her greedy fingers away from these." He replied easily. Once again, Amber took a chip.

"Not a chance, bud." She said with a smile.

The cookout continued without major incident. There was food galore, thanks to Johnny's spectacular grilling skills. Cameron, Nikki, and Amber got dragged into a game of freeze tag with a group of Derrick's friends which broke up only after a dispute between Danny and Amber. Amber swore up and down she tagged him, but he swore she didn't touch him. As tempers began flaring, Johnny came over and kindly ordered that they end the game. Amber was constantly texting throughout the night while Nikki and Cameron poked fun at her.

The fireworks were starting over at the pier at nine o'clock. Nikki was glad they decided against venturing to the crowded pier. As it neared time for the fireworks to begin, the party began to unwind and break into smaller groups to watch them.

Amber was on the phone with her 'friend boy,' Justin. He was picking her up from the party and they were going to the pier for the fireworks.

"It's just down the beach. If you keep walking toward--" she paused, "Yeah, just keep walking, and you'll run straight into the party."

Cameron smirked at Nikki and she grinned back. Amber kept chatting on the phone.

"Okay, I see you!" She was waving her free hand at an approaching figure. "Do you see me? Okay, bye."

"Here he comes." Amber whispered unnecessarily as Justin approached.

While he approached them, Nikki could tell he was cute, even in the darkness. He was tall and tan, with curly blonde hair. He was every bit as cute as Amber had gushed to her all day. She'd have to congratulate her later.

"Hi," he said, lifting a hand in greeting. After he and Amber hugged, she introduced them.

"Cameron, Nikki, this is Justin. Justin, Cameron and Nikki." She said, with a quick wave of her hand.

They exchanged pleasantries, Amber beaming the entire time, before they had to leave.

"We gotta go," Amber said. "We're supposed to meet some people at the pier..." she glanced at her cell phone. "Right now."

"You better go, then." Nikki said with a grin. "It was nice meeting you, Justin."

"Yeah, nice meeting you guys, too." Justin replied.

"Alright, well, it was fun." Amber hugged Nikki. "Thanks for inviting me. You sure you guys don't want to come?"

"No thanks. We're going to stay here." Nikki answered.

Amber hugged Cameron good bye. "See you later."

"Bye, Amber, bye Justin." He held up a hand in farewell.

"Happy fourth, guys!" Amber called over her shoulder to them, as she and Justin headed down the beach toward the pier.

"I was so right. Already, she's chasing the older guys." Cameron said with a large grin, now that Amber was out of earshot.

"At least he seems normal. Ever since Amber told me she liked guys who were 'rough around the edges,' I've been very afraid for her."

He laughed, "Come on, let's put this down."

Cameron and Nikki spread out a blanket on the sand, near the edge of the water. Nikki looked around as everyone settled down, facing the pier. Derrick, Danny, and their friends seated themselves in a semicircle a little ways off. Ava and Johnny were seated in wooden deck chairs. Jay and Isobel stood by the camp fire, his arm around her shoulders. Other guests were sitting on the logs around the fire, in the sand, on towels. Nikki spotted Erika and Bradin's dark forms near the edge of the water, farther away from the large group.

It was weird how one year could change things. When she first came to California, she felt empty and raw from the loss of her parents. She had no desire to be happy here. She wanted nothing more than to hate everything about Playa Linda. She didn't want any attachment to the small beach town.

Her loss was not something that faded away, it was something she learned to deal with, every day. She carried it with her, remembering, grieving, but also living her life.

Nikki plopped down on the blanket. Cameron took a seat next to her. They sat in a comfortable silence.

All day they'd avoided avoided talking about Cameron's dad. At least, Cameron had avoided it, except for talking to Amber about it earlier. And Nikki hadn't brought it up.

"So, Dad's coming home on the eleventh." he told her.

"The eleventh? Wow."

"Yeah, I know."

"Are you ready?"

"I'm not sure." He paused, hoping to give Nikki a more complete answer than he gave Amber earlier. "I hope so. Last night, after he told me, I was really unsure. I talked to my mom this morning, though, and she made me feel a lot better about it."

The fireworks began. Nikki glanced over at Cameron, feeling a chill shoot down her spine as the sky erupted in technicolor. The fireworks from their first date, over a year ago, marked an important new part of her life--their relationship. She was happy to be with him as they watched them once again. Nikki slipped her hand into his. This time, however, it wasn't new to her. His hand was warm, familiar, comforting. Just like Playa Linda itself--the beach, the people--no longer scared her. This was home.

Somehow, that made her appreciate his presence even more.

He leaned over and kissed her softly, much like on his deck on their first date. Again, his touch was familiar and soft. That night they'd been interrupted by Ava and Kyle as they stumbled inside, but this time, they were interrupted by a sharp shriek.

They pulled away, glancing over their shoulders, to see where the noise came from.

Everyone was turned to face Jay and Isobel by the bonfire. In the glowing light from the fire, Isobel stood, covering her mouth with her hands. Jay was knelt in front of her, holding something out to her, his face tilted up to her in a wide smile. It took only a moment for Nikki to process what was happening in front of her.

"Oh my God, Cam." she said, gripping his arm in shock. "He's proposing."

They were thirty feet from the couple, not close enough to hear Jay's question, but close enough to hear Isobel's reply. Even the loud booming from the fireworks couldn't drown out her answer.

"Yes! Jay, yes!" she shrieked, her face glowing with happiness.

They watched as Jay slid the ring on her finger and stood. Isobel flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. Everyone around them, including her entire family, broke out into applause. Nikki joined in heartily. She felt an unexpected wave of emotion from out of nowhere. She loved a happy ending.

"Guess we know what Jay was telling Bradin earlier, then." Cameron commented.

Nikki was surprised, "I didn't even think about that."

Bradin and Erika were the first to approach them in congratulations. Nikki watched as Bradin clapped Jay on the shoulder, they shook hands before finally hugging. Next, her aunt and Johnny rushed to congratulate them.

Nikki turned back around, knowing there was plenty of time for her to congratulate them later. The fireworks continued, bursting overhead. This time, it was Cameron who reached out, and they entwined fingers. They sat in a comfortable silence, gazing up at the lights in the sky.

"Nik, look." Cameron said quietly, nodding over his shoulder. Ava and Johnny were standing, facing the fireworks once again, this time, Johnny's arm was clamped around her shoulders. Her arm was around his waist.

Nikki beamed, a deep feeling a warmth spreading throughout her body. Now Aunt Ava could have what she wanted, too.

"What a fourth of July, huh, Nik?" He asked, sheepish.

"Yeah. What a fourth of July." she said softly, a grin slowly spreading across her face.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter!  
**

**Hope the wait wasn't too long for you guys! I'm trying to be better about updating in a "more" timely manner. I can't believe I have been working on this story for nearly three years, coming this August. What's even weirder, is to think, "Oh, man, when I started this, I hadn't even started high school, and, wow, I couldn't drive!" I recently found some loose pieces of notebook paper from the early _early_ days of this story, and boy, did it go in a different direction. It actually took me awhile, reading them over, to realize they were parts of YAMR. Once I realized it, I was bamboozled. I can't think of a more fitting word. And gee, my handwriting was terrible! **

**I love getting your feedback and reviews. Without you, the reader, I would have no motivation to continue this story. I hope it helps you pretend, at least, that Summerland is still ongoing. Because, for me, this story helps me think it is still around, too. **

**GARGANTUAN THANKS TO:**

**hkcjphillips, Cynthia1993, fictiongirl101, KatieAngel911, ICPinkFuzzyBunnies, Strad3411, gooniegrl, SniperBob, and any silent readers out there. **

**Please leave me a review and let me know what you think!  
**

**Love, **

**Chris Grace**


	14. Chapter 13

**You Are My Refuge: Chapter Thirteen**

Apparently, according to Cameron's mom, they_ had _to clean up his Dad's house before he got home from treatment at Santa Palma.

Rachel Bale seemed to operate under the belief that if they scrubbed the house hard enough, and eliminated every speck of dirt, they could erase everything that had happened inside of it in the past year.

She pulled into the driveway, where Kyle's car sat, unused. She put the car in park and cut the engine before turning to face Cameron. He wore a surly look on his face.

"Cam, don't be like that. I know this is your day off, but we have to get this done, okay?"

He gave a noncommittal grunt. It was eight in the morning, _of course_ he didn't want to be here. He couldn't help but to resent the whole maid duty thing. After all, they weren't_ his _empty liquor bottles..._he_ wasn't the one who practically destroyed the house.

When Cameron had complained the night before during dinner, asking her why they had to spend time cleaning the house, his mom hadn't replied right away. She had just sat there, moving her spaghetti around with her fork thoughtfully. After a couple of moments, she finally answered.

"There is no need for Kyle to come home to the carnage of the past few months. A clean house, a clean slate, you know?" She seemed unsure of her reply, but Cameron knew her well enough to see past her carefully blank look to see her concern for Kyle and her hope for him.

He watched her face as she continued, "I still care about your father, Cameron."

She finally made eye contact with him, letting the myriad of emotions color her face. "Just because we divorced doesn't mean that I didn't care for him, or that I don't." she said softly, reaching out to pat his arm. "We were married for fifteen years and even though things were tough, we also had a lot of wonderful times." She looked so sincere, it almost made him want to cry.

"Do you still love him?" he found himself asking.

She gazed at him imploringly. "Of course I love him, Cam. How could I not? He's your father. He is still my partner in the most important endeavor of my life—being your parent."

He gulped back the aching feeling in his throat.

"I love him, I always will, because he gave me you." Her blue eyes, which were identical to his own, were so filled with emotion that again he felt the pressure of unshed tears behind his eyes. He didn't cry very much. And his lack of tears wasn't even some pseudo-macho bullshit, it was more like his only way of protecting himself.

He didn't want anyone to see him that way—helpless, vulnerable, scared. The only time he'd really let himself cry it out was that night at Nikki's. Showing up on her back doorstep—at the end of his rope—was rock bottom. But now, his mom's sincerity was causing him to hold back a different type of tears. He swallowed, blinking furiously.

He wanted to say something important, thank her, spill his guts, tell her how scared he was, anything to express what her honesty and support meant to him. Instead, he just swallowed hard before he nodded.

"Erm, thanks, Mom." He mumbled inarticulately.

And so they were here. At eight in the morning. His mother was still looking at him, expectant, before she pushed open her door and got out. She popped the trunk.

"Go unlock the house, please." Rachel requested, leaning down to speak to Cameron in the car. "And then come help me drag all of this inside." She shut the door.

He grudgingly got out of the car, letting out a huge yawn as he stretched. He trudged up the walkway and unlocked the screen door and the inside door. He pushed open the wooden door to the house, taking a fleeting look inside before returning to the trunk to help his mom.

He carried in two grocery bags filled with cleaning products, taking them inside to the kitchen. When he was last here, with Nikki and her aunt, Ava had attempted to clean up the downstairs some. While she had improved the situation a little, there was still a faint odor of stale alcohol in the living room and kitchen. In addition, the house showed visible signs of lacking a female caretaker. Needless to say, Cameron and Kyle were not homemakers.

As his mother entered the room, he braced himself for her reaction. She made a noise of disapproval in the back of her throat as she surveyed the kitchen and adjacent living room, but kept silent. Cameron emptied the bags and set the cleaning products on the kitchen table and then turned to face his mom.

She was glancing around the room,and he could tell she was mentally catellouging all that neeed to be done.

"I'm going to clean up down here, okay, hon?" She was distracted already, moving to grab a garbage bag. "It sure is musty, why don't you open some windows to let some fresh air in?"

Cameron obeyed, walking over to the window above the sink and forcing it open. His mom was already at work, clearing any visible trash—including empty bottles—into a fresh black garbage bag.

"After you do that, why don't you clean up in your bedroom?" she suggested, somewhat cheerfully. It wasn't the worst idea in the world. He hated being downstairs amidst the evidence of the past few months-blatantly on display for his mom to see. It was like a crime scene, each detail hinting ominously at the events that had occurred there.

Cameron left her in the kitchen and passed through the living room. He couldn't help but shudder internally at the sight of the couch. How many times had his dad passed out there? Or heaved himself up from the sinking cushions with a groan, then staggered towards him in a drunken stupor?

He realized he was standing still in the middle of the room, paralyzed. He snapped himself out of it and moved to open the windows in the room. He took a deep breath and continued to the staircase.

He ventured upstairs to his bedroom, and was relieved to be in his personal space, his only safe haven. The room had its drawbacks, of course. The lock on the door could easily be picked from the outside, so his locking the door was a symbolic gesture rather than an effective one. The walls were too thin to drown out any unpleasant noises. It was a lot smaller than his room at their old beach house. But, still- it was _his_.

And his living with his mom made him realize how messy it really was. Rachel made him keep his room at her house relatively neat, but Kyle was never much of a housekeeper.

He glanced around his room. It was weird. He hadn't been there for nearly the whole summer. But his stuff sat there, unused.

His gaze fell to a football poster that hung on his wall-USC. He stared at it for a long moment before approaching it. He remembered purchasing it a couple of years ago, right after his mother had left. Cameron and his dad were at a sporting goods store, his dad was purchasing some items for his new sailing hobby, or rather, his new distraction.

His dad stood at the counter, drumming his fingers as he waited for the salesman to come from the back with whatever sundry item he needed. Cameron wandered around, coming to a stop at the end of an aisle where shiny sports-related posters hung in a portfolio. He began to flip through them, the plastic frames clacking together noisily as he browsed.

The first few were devoted soley to basketball, the Lakers, Michael Jordan, other various teams. Next were swimming posters, surfing, rugby, soccer and hockey. He kept flipping until he came to the football posters. The professional teams gave way to the Big East, the SEC, and then to his neck of the woods-the West coast.

There were two UCLA posters, one the bright yellow and light blue of the logo, and one of the quarterback. He lingered on the logo, contemplating whether or not to buy it. He had an empty spot on his wall in his new room that would be perfect.

"Cameron?" His dad's voice interrupted his thoughts, and he quickly flipped past the poster. His Dad hated UCLA.

It was one of those stupid things that pissed him off lately-his mom was a UCLA fan, and therefore, the team was off-limits. Taboo.

"That's a good looking poster," Kyle commented, nodding at the poster he had arbitrarily flipped to. It was a USC poster, gold and maroon, an enlargement of the team logo.

"Why don't I get it for you, huh, buddy?" His dad offered.

"Nah, don't worry about it." Cameron said with a shrug. "You really don't have to."

Kyle clamped a firm hand on his shoulder, a little too firm. He gave it a squeeze. "I _want_ you to have it, Cameron."

It was stupid shit like that. A freaking poster. His dad wanted him to have it, because he wanted to exercise influence over something as inconsequential as whether or not Cameron liked a sports team.

And truthfully? Cameron let him. He _always_ had. Why? Because his dad...seemed to care. And Cameron wanted to please him. He always had and always would want to please him.

So all the casual jabs about him not playing sports like his cousin or preferring to draw, they _hurt._ They bothered him. They made him feel like shit.

And so he let his dad do it, again and again. Because he wanted approval. He wanted it so badly, he compromised everything about himself in order to gain it.

Even over a stupid fucking poster. A team he, in truth, couldn't stand.

Cameron reached up, grabbing a corner of the poster, and ripped it down.

He ripped it in half. Then in fourths. Then eighths. He balled it up and threw the remains into the trashcan.

And...he felt better. A little. He was going to reclaim himself, piece by piece.

He went over to his closet and dug out his old bulletin board. It was empty save some ancient magazine clippings from when he was a kid.

After finding a hammer and a couple of nails downstairs, he secured the board to the wall where the poster had been.

And then he set about putting what mattered to him on it: pictures of him and Nikki that he would've been reluctant to display before, ditto pictures with him mom. The final issue of the Literary Magazine he had helped put together last year. A ticket stub from a concert he'd attended. Some various sketches from his notebook. A large UCLA sticker he found in his desk.

_His_ life. _His_ choices.

And finally, in the center, Cameron added an old picture he'd come across while tidying. One of him, his mom, and his dad.

He stepped back and stared at his work. It was time he stood up for himself, and if the therapy worker (always _if_) his dad should be able to deal with it. Feeling satisfied with the improvement to his room, he began actually cleaning it. Changing out his sheets, throwing away garbage, sweeping the floor.

He came back downstairs, lugging his laundry basket, and his mother had completely transformed the house. He glanced around in awe as he passed through first the living room, then the kitchen, where his mom stood in the tiny laundry room off to the side, folding fresh sheets.

"Mom?" His voice was questioning. In the past two hours, he'd just cleaned his small room. Yet, his mother had completely scrubbed the downstairs to the point that it didn't even resemble the house they'd walked into earlier.

"Hey, Cam," she was grinning, "You done upstairs? And are those dirty?"

He nodded, holding out the basket of old sheets mixed in with a few stray towels and t-shirts. "The house looks..." he trailed off.

"Clean?" she prompted. He took the basket from him and set it down on the closed washer.

"Yeah, very clean." He stepped out of the small laundry room and into the kitchen. It was impressive how much work she'd done. The countertops practically sparkled, as did the sink.

"We should be ready to go in twenty or thirty minutes, after this load finished," his mom told him. "What are your plans for the rest of the day? You going to call up Nikki? Maybe spend some time with her?"

"Probably, not exactly sure what she's doing today though." He replied.

"I'll call you when I'm done, okay, Cam?"

"Okay, sure."

Cameron went back upstairs to his room and sprawled out on his neatly made bed. He pulled out his phone and called Nikki. It rang several times before she answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Nik." He could always hear the smile in his own voice. Was it as embarrassingly obvious to Nikki? He kind of hoped not. He also kind of hoped it was.

"Cam! Hi. What are you up to?" At least she, too, sounded happy.

"I'm actually at my house, my mom and I came over here earlier to clean up some for when my dad gets home."

"That doesn't sound fun," She said it lightly, but he could hear the ever-present Nikki concern. "You still over there?"

"Yeah," He answered. "We're leaving soon though. What are you doing?"

"I'm actually at AvaG again today. I'm being held to that little commitment we made to Aunt Ava and Susannah. They are cashing in the slave labor by recruiting me to paint."

"Oh, really? They aren't very good slave drivers, though..."

He heard Nikki snort. "Why do you say that?"

"They've forgotten about the other slave. Don't they want to cash in on me?"

"Nah, Cam. You aren't obligated to paint." She said.

"I want to." More accurately, he wanted to spend time with her. Especially before his dad came home. He felt like things were going to be a lot less light-hearted after he came home. And if spending time with her involved painting a couple of rooms, well, they'd done that before. And it had worked out rather nicely.

"Really?" She sounded surprised. "Even after cleaning all morning?"

"It wasn't that intense. I'll get my mom to drop me off when we leave. I'll be there pretty soon."

"Are you sure?" She asked again, uncertain.

"Of course. Be there soon."

"Well...okay. If you're sure. Susannah welcomes slaves."

Cameron laughed. "I bet, see you."

* * *

Cameron arrived at AvaG just after they had finished putting up the painting tape along the trim of the middle room. Nikki was there with her aunt and Susannah, as Colby had "something to do," which really meant he didn't want to participate in the painting.

"Slave number two is here," He joked as he walked into the room.

Nikki could feel her face light up-as always-at the sight of him. She hurried over and gave him an enthusiastic hug.

"Thanks so much for coming, Cam." She said sincerely, pulling away. "Now I have a witness. Susannah can't hold me hostage until all the painting is done."

Cameron grinned. "Glad to help."

"We really do appreciate it, Cameron." Ava said warmly. "You didn't have to."

He shrugged. "No problem, I like to paint, believe it or not."

Susannah was pouring a stark white paint, blindingly bright, into a painting tray. The new flooring was covered meticulously with drop cloths. She set the paint can down on the ground and straightened up, standing with her hands on her hips.

"Okay, Cameron, Nikki. Listen up. Remember how you went crazy upstairs at the house?" She raised an eyebrow at them.

Cameron and Nikki exchanged sheepish grins.

"Yeah, I see those looks. Anyway, you cannot, absolutely cannot, do that in here. Or I will have to kill you." Susannah was quite bossy when she wanted to be. "Capice?"

"Ay, ay captain." Nikki said with an army worthy salute.

With that, they got to painting. The bright white was just primer, to cover up the ugly yellow so that the new color-a crisp cream-would go on easily. Ava plugged in a radio and they listened to music as they painted. It was actually kind of fun, even though it was hard work, especially with Cameron there.

Ava and Susannah worked on putting primer on the walls in the front room, while they worked on the middle room. It was physically tiring. They worked for almost two hours straight before taking a break. Even though they hadn't had a paint fight like last time, they both found themselves with patches of white staining their clothes and skin. Nikki was covered in sweat, and practically starving. They'd managed to get the first coat of primer on the walls, the tacky yellow finally covered up. Ava and Susannah came into the room, both of them dotted with white and looking tired.

"The room looks great, guys. Thanks so much for helping us out." Ava said as she surveyed the job they'd done.

"Want me to order some pizzas, kids?" Susannah offered. "I know you're hungry."

Nikki looked over at Cameron. "I think we might actually go out, get away from all the paint fumes. They're starting to give me a headache, anyway."

"Me too." He agreed.

"You sure?" Ava asked, "It would be no problem to order in."

"Nah," Nikki declined. "We can just walk over to Luigi's."

Luigi's was a casual pizza place in the same shopping center as AvaG. As usual, it was packed, due to having the best pizza in all of Playa Linda. They had to wait a few minutes for a table, the aroma of the pizza making their stomachs grumble. People were giving them weird looks, as they were both disheveled and covered in paint. Once they were finally seated, Nikki spent the time at lunch relaying to Cameron all that had happened since 4th of July as they shared a pepperoni pizza.

"And so, they went to dinner. Like...dinner dinner. Not hanging out at the Sandbar after hours or Ava fixing them something to eat at midnight. They went _out_. Ava and Johnny. To_ dinner_." She stressed the word again. "Isn't that amazing? And I didn't even have to set it up or convince her to go."

"Wow," Cameron said appreciatively. The great thing about him was that he understood. He understood what it meant to her to have her aunt and Johnny actually be together. Because she'd admitted to him her guilt over the demise of Simon and Ava. And her desire for her aunt to be happy. "That's great."

"I know." Nikki agreed, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

After lunch at Luigi's, they left and began walking around the shopping center. It being the middle of the day on a Saturday meant it was packed with tourists and locals alike.

"Let's go down to the beach," Cameron suggested. "Get out of the crowd. Maybe work off some of that pizza."

"Okay."

"So, did you get that letter in the mail about registration for school?" Cameron asked as they walked along the water's edge, shoving his hands into his pockets. "It's weird, thinking this summer is already half over."

"It seems like this summer has gone on for ages though. With everything that's been going on."

Cameron nodded. "But school is in just a few weeks. You picked out your classes yet?"

"I'm going to take French, and then for my elective I'm going to take Advanced Creative Writing." She looked over at him. "What about you?"

"Spanish and art."

"You think your dad will be okay with the art class instead of an extra period of gym?"

"Well..." Cameron paused. "If he isn't, then I guess we know the therapy didn't work, huh?"

Nikki nodded. "You're so good at drawing, he'd be crazy to not agree that's where you belong. You should show him the magazine we put together last year, and your sketches in it."

Cameron shrugged. "You think so?" He asked, unsure.

"Of course," she nodded vehemently. "I bet he'd love to see them."

"Maybe I will."

They were silent as they walked. Nikki looked out at the water, watching a surfer rise from his board and expertly glide into the curve of a crashing wave.

"Have you talked to Amber lately?" Cameron asked suddenly, changing the topic to lighter things. "She keeps texting me and asking me for advice about that guy from 4th of July..."

"Justin?" Nikki prompted.

"That's the one."

"I hung out with her yesterday before she went to work. It was fun until she started complaining about how she didn't think he wanted to commit to being her boyfriend."

"I thought she didn't _want_ him to be her boyfriend?" Cameron asked, confused.

"She doesn't." Nikki clarified. "She wants _him_ to want to be her boyfriend. So it bothers her that he is okay with just being how they are now-hanging out, no labels."

"But isn't that what she wants? That makes zero sense."

"It does to Amber."

Cameron shook his head. "Thanks for not being that complicated, Nik." He said it sincerely. "I mean, you confuse me a lot of the time, what with my having a Y chromosome and therefore a smaller brain and all, but...I couldn't handle it if you were Amber. No joke."

Nikki laughed heartily. She reached out and wrapped an arm around his waist as they walked. He, in turn, wrapped one around her. They fell into a comfortable silence as they strolled along the shore, the water lapping at their feet.

"I want to thank you, Nik, seriously." Cameron said all of a sudden.

"For what?" she asked, peering up at him.

"For, you know, this summer, for everything." He paused. "For treating me like I'm me and not feeling sorry for me like I'm some pathetic loser. And for putting up with me, even though I'm a jerk sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Nikki said playfully, "No need to be modest, really."

He grinned, slowing his stride and stepping away from her into the shallow surf. "This would be the part where I splash a ridiculous amount of water at you."

He looked up at her as he bent towards the water, getting ready to splash her.

"And then, following, the part where I dump you." Nikki stated cheerfully.

"I think it might actually be worth it, not gonna lie." His grin made his blue eyes sparkle but he stepped away from the water and slung his arm back over her shoulders and they continued to walk.

She laughed at his forfeit, "All joking aside, you don't have to thank me. You'd do the same for me. I'm not keeping a tab, you know."

"I know." It was proof of the strength of their relationship and a testament to its nature that there was no levity in his reply. It was an understanding dating back to when they first met-when Nikki was reluctant to divulge the reason behind her move to Playa Linda.

After two weeks of keeping it from him, she finally told Cameron the reason she'd left Kansas. As they had walked home early one evening from summer camp, she told him.

"My parents died, you know." She said softly, struggling to keep her tone strictly matter-of-fact. She was better at that tone now that she'd practiced it so much. "They were both killed in an accident. That's why I moved here."

She'd been looking down at her feet as she said this, concentrating on placing one foot, then the other, on the sand in front of her.

When she finally looked up at him, his face had not twisted into that involuntary but seemingly universal reaction to such a piece of information. The sickening sympathy face, the slackening of the jaw, the furrowing of the eyebrows, the widening of the eyes. Instead of murmuring a soft, obligatory, "I'm sorry for your loss," he met her gaze full-on and said, "I'm sorry for you, Nikki, really."

And ever since then, they'd had an understanding. There was no tab. There was just...being there for each other. As best as they were capable. It was something she'd needed more than anything when she'd left Hogarth.

"So, what happens now, Cam?" She asked him. "How does the whole coming home thing work?"

"Well, the day he leaves Santa Palma we are going to have one last family therapy session with Dr. Neilson as a part of the whole out-processing thing. I think he is going to kind of lay out a plan for getting back to regular life, so to speak."

Nikki nodded. "Are you going to be living with him?"

Cameron paused. "I think so. He still has full custody of me."

"Is that..." Nikki hesitated, "Is that the best idea, do you think? Shouldn't you spend some time at your mom's, give him a chance to adjust and whatnot?"

He shrugged. "That's what my mom was thinking. But Dr. Neilson said it would be better to jump into 'regular life' as soon as possible. Meaning it would be better for him to come home to how things usually are."

Nikki nodded. "I guess that makes sense..." she trailed off. "But it still makes me worried for you. Do you feel ready?"

He paused before speaking. "I'm ready for things to be different. I'm ready for him to be sober."

"Cam," Nikki's voice was soft. "Promise me something?"

"What?"

"You won't go through it again, alone. If it happens again...tell me. _Please_. I can't stand the thought of you going through that again."

He paused. "I will."

And it was a promise he really,_ really_ wanted to keep. He wanted to be able to be open with her, and with his mom, while also being close to his dad. When his dad was drunk all the time, it was impossible. He had to lie and avoid and try to hide what was happening at home. And that hurt his relationships with everyone else. He wanted so much for everything to be normal enough, peaceful enough, at home with his dad that there would be no need for secrets.

No need for lies. He looked down at Nikki, his arm wrapped around her, hers around him, her hair blowing in the wind. God, we wanted more than anything to have it all. Her, his mom, and his dad. He wanted it so much. The question was, though...

Could he have it?

* * *

**Author's Note: **

**Hi! Please don't kill me. I know it's been an inexcusably long time for me to update! But, here it is. This chapter is meant to expand upon the inner turmoil Cameron is feeling about his father's upcoming return into his life. He is rightfully uneasy about what that will mean, and I hope you guys will stick around to see what is in store for him in the next few chapters. **

**As always, thank you for reading (if I have anyone left, it's been so long!) and I really appreciate hearing from you guys. I am going to finish this story, no worries! I've been writing this for so long, and my life has changed so much since I began it, but I love this story and it is something I think about all the time. I have pages and pages of material for the upcoming and final chapters that I cannot wait to share with you. **

**BIG THANKS TO:**

**Hkcjphillips, ICPinkFuzzyBunnies, xNanna, hales03, Luzith, LPHybrid28, and TakeMyHandHolfItTight! **

**I appreciate everyone's time and support more than you know. **

**Love,**

**Chris Grace**


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